i'm da elsest n have a younger sist (only 2 of us). She's 7 years younger. Yeah..as a big sist, I her luv so dearly (to a point wen mom asked me how much i care bout my lil sis, i said..i'd kill n die for her)..Da issue here is.. she's going ova to paris to persue her artistic make-up course (btw, we both studied hairstylin n make up 2getha here but she's takin it to a higher level..as I am getting married soon...so i kindda have to sacrifice dat part of my dream). i am very happy for her but part of me is so worried of her safety etc ... i hv sleepless night thinking about it insted of thinking of my wedding (i'm gettin married in 3mnts btw). and i think my future hubby is a lil pissed...(i dont blame him). But its hard to ignore my worries wen da last thing dad told me b4 he died was to take care of lil sis.. n hell yeah...since then thats da promise (or more like a vow) dat i treasure. Wat wld u do if u r in my shoez.. shld i discourage her so dat she'll be here where i can see or?
2007-08-13 01:24:42 · 5 answers · asked by jijieluva 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Don't discourage her. This is what she wants to do. Is she going to France alone, or with a group. This her chance at her dream you have to let her try. I realise you made a promise, but wouldn't your dad want her to be all she can be? Let her spread her wings and fly. Congrats on you up coming wedding, and tell your sister good luck.
2007-08-13 01:41:11 · answer #1 · answered by bluebird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a lovely big sister you are. You don't say your ages but I assume you are late teens/early 20s? At some time you have to go your separate ways. Parents have to let their children go - and you've been a sort of surrogate mother to her since your dad died. You are going to be married and she is pursuing her career. This is great for both of you. You'll always be sisters and you'll always love eachother but your priorities change as the years go on. You won't both be so intense about eachother and this is healthy. As a big sister you will ALWAYS be concerned for her (you can't help it) and as a little sister she will always look up to you for advice and comfort because she can't help it either. You will always be there for eachother no matter where you are in the world. Now you are getting married and starting your own family they MUST come first for you and your sister will start to come second. It is quite natural. When she marries, her new family will come before you in the same way but that doesn't stop you loving eachother and being good sisters. I am not keen on deathbed promises at all because they ALWAYS make people feel guilty and obliged to do things. Your dad was being a good father and just wanted you both to look out for eachother's welfare when he was gone. He didn't want you both to drift apart and not care for eachother. Well, that won't happen. Make sure your sister keeps in contact with you (letter/email/phone) while she's in Paris on her course but don't make her feel bad about going away. Give her loads of encouragement and be interested in what she's doing and be happy for her. When you get married she'll be happy for you and your husband. If you try and tie her down she will only get resentful and you don't want that do you. Good luck to her in her new career and good luck to you for your future marriage.
2007-08-13 01:53:26 · answer #2 · answered by chris n 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad to hear your father died... i'm sorry for you loss...
I think that, when you father said "take care of" your sister, i don't think he meant to have such stress and anxiety that you can't function normally.
I believe your father meant to "be there" for her if she needs someone to lean on, watch out for her best interests and be a good sister to her... and the same should go for the way she treats you, as well.
I'm sure your father would have supported YOU and your sister in any endeavors you'd like to persue, and would likely have been supportive, as well. As parents, we have to give our children some credit for having some sense.
If your sister is going to paris, i'm sure she will be safe. she is following her dreams, and now is the time to be supportive. I'm sure you two can communicate by phone or email.
As parents and siblings, we aren't supposed to control the lives of others -- that's not how it works.
If you have a loving, caring and supporive family system, you are fortunate.
Take care, congratulations on the wedding, also.
2007-08-13 01:55:13 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be happy for her.let her go and do what she has wanted to do.your dad wanted you to take care of her until she was able to do it for herself,now she is.keep in close contact with her by the phone or letters.your new responsibilty is to the man you are going to marry.maybe you and your husband can save some money and put a little to the side until the two of you in a year or so can take a trip and visit your sister and see for yourself that you did a good job taking care of her and have helped her become an adult.
2007-08-13 02:09:48 · answer #4 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
letting go isn't easy for a parent and you have those feelings for your sis.You can do nothing to protect her from the world,no more than you have already done so now her actions and life are in Gods hands and hope fully He has good plans for her.Whatever is happening is out of your hands so deal with the situations that are in your control and let go and let God do His thing.
2007-08-13 01:58:36 · answer #5 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋