My bf can only orgasm during sex if I tell him stories about me being naughty with other guys. Is this normal? It is fine some of the time, but doing it all the time leaves me feeling like I'm not enough to turn him on or make him finish. He keeps telling me repeatedly that I do turn him on and that he's just used to this. Any advice?
2007-08-13 00:49:02 · 8 answers · asked by sublime 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Guys are different. It is a fetish and that is just the way he is and he is not going to change. I'm am not sure if it could be considered within the range of normal or not. However, it is very unusual.
My advice is, if you can accept that he will alway be that way, then just keep telling him stories to please him. Otherwise, you need to discard him and look for someone else.
2007-08-13 01:05:38 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your anxiety over this is understandable. I am sure you do "turn him on," but being turned on in sex is not the same as turning a light on with a switch; there is more to it for him to be able to reach orgasm. You don't seem to have any hangups with the fantasy some of the time, only when it is all the time and that makes it no longer just a part of your sexual menu but a necessary element of every encounter. Sexual interest is 90% mental and 10% physical. You need to either accept this as his "thing" and go along with it, or tell him what your needs are and your concerns over it. You may want to check out whether or not this is only a fantasy, or if he actually wants this to occur in reality. If it is the later, run, run, run, as he cannot accept you as anything but a play toy.
2007-08-13 06:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girl has had a maximum of three and as few as none. Depending on how, when and where we met. But yes a lot of foreplay is required and also depending on if I am meeting her after a long time I make sure that she gets her pleasure even before I penetrate. Yes she finds clitoral and vaginal orgasms different and prefers vaginal ones but these are the more difficult ones to achieve as I am not a sexual athlete.
2016-05-21 05:07:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not that you're "not enough to turn him on." I'm sure you turn him on. But he has gotten in this rut where he "needs" this to climax. But if he's relying on this, or anything, to climax, then he may be developing a dependency on this. Whether it's watching porn or being spanked or talking dirty, if the guy has to have this one thing, it will make your relationship boring at least and dangerous at most (as his real fantasy has to do with sharing you or degrading you by thinking of you as a slutty-pass around.)
My suggestion is to talk to him about it; show your willingness to continue, but maybe "this time" he has to tell a story, or maybe watch porn, or maybe you can tell a story about the two of you together. If he can't or won't do it, then perhaps suggest counseling. And if he can't or won't do that, then you have to evaluate whether this is a flaw in your relationship that you'll be willing to endure for years to come.
2007-08-13 01:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's more than a little unusual. It suggests that he might be more of a voyeur than a lover and that is disturbing to me.
If you are otherwise enjoying the relationship there is no reason to discontinue it, but I would not commit to a long-term relationship or marriage without getting him to respond a little more normally.
Some men are turned on by thoughts like this, but it is very unusual for them to be turned on only by them.
2007-08-13 16:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds sexy and hot ! I like hearing those type stories once in a while
2007-08-13 01:02:24 · answer #6 · answered by DFS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep on doing it.... or dump him!!! :D
2007-08-13 01:00:09 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is abnormal
2007-08-13 01:10:42 · answer #8 · answered by stranger 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋