Advice Not Wanted?

Question

Why is it that family members who have no children are constantly telling the ones who do have children what they need to be doing and what they are doing wrong?

Answer 1

everyone without kids has been telling me what to do, with my unborn child and my 6 year old stepdaughter. a 20 year old kid was trying to tell me what to do the other day. I just smile and be polite then forget everything they say.

Answer 2

I think that their heart is generally in the right place but, it's really annoying.. I have a sister-in-law that doesn't have children and she really just had no clue whatsoever about how to raise children... Then on top of that I'm getting "advice" from my mother-in-law that hasn't raised a child in over 30yrs... So, usually I just say "oh the doctor told us..." that will usually satisfy them. Or if it's something more serious, like a safety issue I will find an article or something that supports what I'm doing... Good luck

Answer 3

Many people without kids think that they are authorities on children. The best thing to do is smile knowingly as they rant on and on about how "they" would do it. Then, sit back and giggle when they have kids of their own. They are probably just trying to be helpful but we all know that it's annoying. If they keep giving advice, tell them that you'd love for them to try out the advice when you drop the kids off on Saturday! (Haha) Let them have at it for a while and you can go out and get a break ;)

Answer 4

Hi HHG,

...because although everyone is entitled to their opinion, some people believe they are entitled to FORCE their opinion upon others. Being related gives certain people a sense of obligation to impart their "wisdom" and insight to those raising children.

If you take a close look at these individuals, they often have quite a bit going on in their own life/lives that could use a little attention and maintenance.

Their casting judgment on you gives them a temporary feeling of authority or superiority.

Doesn't make an ounce of sense, but they will continue to do this.

Good luck ~

Answer 5

Oh my god, I know what your talking about. We went out to dinner, and I was with my 4 cousins ages 5 y/o, 4 y/o, 20 months, and 16 months. So I was like watching them and the 16 month old starts to cry, so I go and take her out of her little chair and put her on my lap, and she stops. Problem solved. And then the waitress comes over and says, that's only going to make it worse, and I'm like, you don't even know this kid, what are you talking about. So then this lady leaves and the baby sits on my lap fine for another 45 minutes, and then starts to want to move around, so we go and say hello to the 20 month old and I let them kind of play with each other. Oh, and the parents sat at a different table, except the 20 month old sat with his parents.

Answer 6

I can't stand that. I don't mind advice coming from my mom because she's never pushy or intrusive. My sis-in-law is a whole different story. She chain smoked through both of her pregnancies, constantly screams at her kids using foul language, lets them live off of soda and junk food. Somehow all of this makes her mother of the year and in a position to tell me and my hubby what we're doing wrong with our daughter. Apparently making healthy meals/snacks and having a set bedtime routine makes us diabolical parents.

*grrr*

Thanks for letting me vent.

Answer 7

People see what is going on in a family much like watching a television program. They don't see everything else that is happening on a day to day basis, only short episodes, so take their limited knowledge and come up with opinions. Basically, it's ignorance.

Answer 8

1) Famiy members like to help, even if it isn't. {:-).

2) Sometimes the ones without children learn more about raising children because they have more time to take in how other people bring their chldren up and learn from other sources. Kids do take a bit of your time for doing these sort of things.

Answer 9

For the same reason most child psychologists do not have children of their own. They think they know everything just because they have observed other parents and they try to figure out what they would do in that situation. No one really has a clue until they have a child of thier own. When someone gives me advise on my child, I usually ask, "does that work on your kids?". Usually shuts them up.

Answer 10

I agree -- they think tghey are helping, but they always come off annoying. It's the same way that people in debt always have advice for people who want to invest for retirement.

They have no clue, and I tell them that much. It has stopped some, like my brother. And then I try to be annoying back to him with something in his life!