Is it okay for a man to hit a woman?

Question

My belief has always been that if a woman has enough balls to strike a man, she should expect reciprocation of a similar act.
Thats what I always said, but deep down, I dont really know if I honestly believe it.

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend/bestfriend for over 2 years now...i'm not a saint, i've done things to him like hit him with a frying pan, throw an iron at him, bit him till he bled, close-fisted punched him in the face

And he's reciprocated by forcefully holding me down, "pushing" (aka palming) me, choking me....

Anyway, his defense is that he never "hit" me because his fist was never closed....what do you think???

My main point is that a man will almost always overpower the woman....i think that simply holding her down so she cant harm herself or others is enough

okay, okay, i ALWAYS tend to over-assume blame but it's not like i was just hitting him for no reason
i'd go after him for breaking into my house, for breaking my windows, putting holes in my walls, cornering me and such. usually he'd just try restrain me
the most recent instance (which was the last straw for me and led to us breaking up) was when we were verbally fighting and it got waaaaaayyyy heated, yelling and all, he'd start by hitting the airbag on the car dash, then breaking the windshield, and then "palming" me. then when i tried to walk away he grabbed me and tried to stop me from leaving by pinning me on the car and holding my arms. then when he decided it was okay for me to leave, he wanted me to give him my lighter so he could smoke his cigg and i said no cause i needed it, he grabbed me, threw me in bougainvillea thorny bushes, choked me, and so on.
i just dont know how to respond to him saying "dont tell people im hitting you cause im not, it was never close fisted"

I dunno, i grew up in foster care and with really abusive parents so to me, physical violence is pretty normal...i know, i know

but i just dont know if i should "dismiss" him from that kine stuff, like hitting, especially when it was unprovoked....

all that crazy *** stuff i did to him was in the past (sans the punch in the face which was when he took my car, with me in it, and wouldn't let me go home)

i just dont know how to differentiate "normal" from flat out abuse.

and i agree that a man striking a woman is the clearest sign that he is dishonorable...

i hate living on an island!!!!

Answer 1

No, it may seem "old fashioned" but it is NEVER okay for a man to hit a woman. That includes forceful pushing, forceful restraint and especially choking! You let him choke you? That is not a sign of a healthy relationship. However, I have to admit that if the girl is going to do harm to herself or harm to another person, it is okay for a guy to hold her back, even if it is against her will. That could be interpreted as protection but in any other case, and in any other way, hitting is simply abuse.

Answer 2

If you are doing things like biting to break skin and physically hurting him, he does have the right to restrain you. Just because your a guy, it does not mean that you should put up with abuse like that. If you two plan on staying together you should probably get into some therapy of some sort before you end up in jail or before you have children. Honestly, I don't think it's ok to fully hit a woman, but I'm surprised that's all he's done to you if all you say is true. Please get some help!

Answer 3

NOT NORMAL!!! This is abuse... physical abuse, whether his fist is open or closed. He hit you, he hurt you. Call the police, report him. Violence will only escalate.

You also need some kind of anger management though, b/c it's not ok to throw or hit someone with a frying pan or iron. Please get some help, you're not living your life in a healthy way. You had a difficult upbringing yes, but remember, you can make changes for the better and love yourself enough to make the changes.

Answer 4

Well, women are at a physical disadvantage to men because of their genetic downfalls (and men have their genetic downfalls too, dont get me wrong here)

Women, on average, arent as strong as men, because to achieve the same muscular ability as a man, the women will have to give more effort on her part.

So anyway, the question is though, does she fit the criteria to be hit back at?

Personally, I have a motto. violence is not the answer. I dont think its right to hit a girl. or a guy. or for michael jackson to hit on a small boy.

So if someone hit me, I would ignore them, or press charges depending. I would only resort to violence if I could not escape the situation and it was placing my life or physical being in jeopardy. So, under my moral standards and conduct, it is okay to hit a women very rarley, though it is, sometimes, ok.

EDIT: you are a lucky girl to have such a forgiving boyfriend.

If my mom, or girlfriend, or anyone else, hit me with a frying pan, Id press charges and disown them. +restraning order.

Answer 5

everyone would like to say NO! don't ever hit a woman!
But females today are not always "women"
when you say "woman" what terms come to mind?
- elegant, beautiful, respectful, loving, charming, motherly,
compassionate,...etc....etc...

the problem with todays females is that they don't always act like that, all the time.
now I have never hit a woman myself, but yes I have come very close. and I have never considered myself a violent man.
Hell, sometimes I feel guilty about squashing a bug.

but I believe that anyone can get pushed into violence, just like if you have an animal cornered and you are threatening it, it will attack.

Well let me tell you, too many woman today are like that or worse!!!! they all run around belittling men who fight back when they are being physically abused by a female.
(yes I know some men strike women without provocation - and that is a horrible crime to beat anyone unjustly)

but my problem is that too many females today all believe they are safe to do whatever they want to their man, and think ,hey he better not ever lay a finger on me cause I'll call the cops on his ***, or dump him, or whatever...

so why is it ok for the girl to hit and bite her man, or throw whatever you can get your hands on at him, all while bitching up a storm of the nastiest comments ever imaginable?
-- well I'm sorry to say but after hours of being physically and verbally abused by anyone male or female, I'm ready to take their head off. And the F'd up **** is that the guy might have done or said ONE stupid comment to deserve this onslaught.

I don't get it, why can't any female control her anger?
or make it quick? you all drag out the arguments forever.

just shut up, and walk away. If you can't discuss the issue like a woman in a civil manner. then go calm yourself down until you can. Otherwise you turn a simple or stupid issue into a death match. Plus I'm sure you all know your boyfriends limits.
I'm sure you can tell that after X amount of time he is ready to break, and wants to kill someone.

why would you want to do that, and put yourself in that type of risk? I just don't get it -- were females really put on this planet just to annoy the piss out of men with their bitchiness

.......................................

I'm sorry if I've offended the only woman out there that doesn't do this.

and Also I would like to stress the fact that I have never hit any girl whatso ever. nor do I condone it

I'm just saying that I understand how sometimes it can happen, when girls are abusive(verbally and physically)
to their man, over extended times.

_____________________________________

after reading the additional details you just added, it definitely sounds like he is way too abusive.
and if he's asking you not to tell than it sounds like he is setting you up for when he does start closing his fist, and hitting you. that way you will already be trained not to tell.
so it will go on forever, or until you can get far away from him.

you need to get rid of him quick, threaten to tell the cops then go tell his parents about his abusive nature. if he does it again then go to the cops cause you will need a restraining order.

Answer 6

No never...but if you two are going at each other in this way you really should see about some couseling.

I don't mean to be offensive, but one of these days it may get way out of hand and you may really hurt one another. Hitting a man or a woman is never the answer.

Answer 7

i individually experience that if a woman has the audacity to hit a guy, he has each and every acceptable to smack her one acceptable back. women human beings, who in lots of cases are the smaller, bodily weaker member of the pair, are regularly considered because of the fact the underdog while it incorporates arguments. i assume extremely some human beings experience that a woman won't do as lots injury to her better half as a guy smacking his lady chum or spouse around could. that is extremely not real. I even have considered some women extremely tear up their boyfriends (extreme heels and long nails can extremely perform a little injury) and the guy actual sustain worse injuries because of the fact he did no longer desire to hit her back for worry of injuring her and/or her telling the police officers that he became the instigator, and that she acted out of self protection. that isn't any longer ok for anybody to hotel to actual violence in an argument, no remember the gender.

Answer 8

He sounds like an okay guy if he's taken all this abuse from you and not stuck you in response. Hitting a woman is the clearest sign of a dishonorable man. You should keep him.

Answer 9

Absolutely not!!! It is not okay for a man to hit a woman or be violent towards her in any way, or even give her an idea that he would possibly be violent towards her. Even if the woman hit the man first, the man should be man enough to just step back and not do a thing about it. IT'S WRONG AND EVIL!!!

Answer 10

Violence is never the answer. It is not okay for you to provoke him by hitting him with things or your fists but men are much stronger than women so it is never okay for a man to hit a woman unless it's self-defense.