Have you ever been in a public place, and had somebody stare at you? When you said hi, they said nothing?

Question

What do you think of this? Yeah, I know, it's common sense, but I've seen with my own eyes many people who are greeted and act like they are annoyed somebody said hello or smiled at them. Not just me, anyone from all races and religions. How does this make you feel?

Allah Almighty in the Noble Quran commands us to return a greeting with a better one or at least an equal one. We must maintain the high standards in manners and always be the best examples.

Let us look at Noble Verse 4:86 "When a (courteous) greeting is offered you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy. Allah takes careful account of all things."

The necessary correlative to the command to fight in a good cause is the command to cultivate sweetness and cordiality in our manners at all times. For fighting is an exceptional necessity while the sweetness of daily human intercourse is a normal need.

Further, we give kindness and courtesy without asking, and return it if possible in even better terms than we received, or at least in equally courteous terms. For we are all creatures of One GOD, and shall be brought together before Him.

Answer 1

You gave some verses in the Quran well placed, anyways, I am always used to these reactions, human nature, to see someone they think they cannot handle, they try to make you feel bad, same with bullies and others, the bully would always aim to humiliate the latter by physically abusing them in a crowd. So, the latter would feel ashamed and brought down.
I have experienced this many times, wearing my naturally Islamic clothes. So, I wouldn't worry too much.
Insha Allah when Isa AS arrives they will think completly different, and they would probably join us, seeing as their 'saviour' is a muslim.
Insha Allah, sister.

Answer 2

If somebody you don't know was starring at you ,you should not greet him unless he does.
Don't expect people around you will have the same manners , culture , and reactions. when you greet someone you don't know you should expect positive, negative or neutral response, and that doesn't mean they are offensive, in their culture greeting strangers is not obligatory.

However, if you are talking about Islamic community and you made your greetings among Muslims it will be different, they should respond to you positively as you said because that is in the culture of Islam how to return greetings to others, in this case you are right and the respond of the person is not acceptable.

if someone is stared at you the wise action is either to smile or to turn your face and forget that he is there.
Remember that he is not offensive because he doesn't know you and consequently don't create any hard feeling about that.

Answer 3

People stare at me all the time.

I know full well that when people stare at you, it doesn't mean they want to say hello; it means they think you're a freak.

Hence when people (including Muslims) stare at me, I either just stare back harder.... or suddenly jump at them suddenly with arms up and go "BLEARGH!" .... That usually puts them in their place. They should damn-well learn to mind their own business. If I want to be a freak then that is my concern...

... and if you want to be a freak then that is your concern likewise.


[Jeanette :~ For the record... being all nicey nicey is more likely to scare people than not these days. We live in an age of scepticism. Any behaviour out of the norm (i.e. semi-hostile ambivalence) is generally treated with suspicion.]

Answer 4

Friendship, no that's not risky....my contacts in basic terms this week helped me turn my head faraway from the darkness and in the direction of the easy....that's not delusional in any respect, yet a certainty.

Answer 5

I am offended when people are rude. I usually rebuke them. I always try to extend courtesy to everyone. I resent when people are rude on purpose. I don't want to know everybody, but if put in a position, a person should at least be polite. I often say. You should learn some manners... if it is a kid staring, it is natural, but sometimes people are pretty creepy.

Answer 6

+PAX

Yep, its happened to me.

First as Benedictines, we welcome all as Christ. So I would smile and say hello. If the person glared at me or continued to stare I would say, "have a good day" with a smile and leave.

Or the other possibility would be that the person really wants something but is afraid to ask me about it. At which point it become my duty to ask "Can I help you with something" with great charity and humility lest I frighten them or anger them. If they still don't speak then I would say goodbye and leave.

In charity I would include that person in my prayers.

Benedicite,
j

Answer 7

Sure, I've had that happen before. I've spotted someone staring at me and smiled back, only to have them look away. Or I've assumed they were trying to get my attention and spoke, only to have them walk away. I admire your desire to follow your faith and be polite, but a stare is not necessarily an indication that someone wishes to converse. Some people stare absentmindedly. Others just like to people-watch but don't like to chat. I try to shake it off and not take it personally.

Answer 8

yes all the time, i will smile at ppl & thay just stare at me or move away from me, i have had ppl stare at me as i pass them on the road way, there are not many muslims here we are the only one's for about 150 miles.

Answer 9

All the time.
But not everyone who stares at you wants to be friends.
Staring is a form of information gathering and non verbal communication usually indicating disapproval.

Why do some people think they can intrude in another's reality and then feel offended when they are rebuffed?

Answer 10

Yes, this one has experienced such.

You offer the "lotus", raised palms togehter, bow and a blessing, honoring their being.

One does such to all.

May it all be well with you.