im brave to ask this cuz i know im gonna get punked, but i have been sleeping with this guy, and he is the only guy ever that i have multiple orgasms with. im in love!!!!!! seriously , i want to be with him only him, and it feels like love!!!! but it always feels like love, i know that i can dedicate myself to him and never will i hurt him or leave him. im just scared that i wont be able to hold up my end of the relationship because im scared, i have always believed that sex is the most important part of a relationship,(i understand that sex is overrated) i just have some doubts and dont want to let him down at all. i always dont feel like im good enough, its my low self esteem i guess, but that should not stop me from finding love, and i deserve love. but i have been down this road before and when i have thought it to be love, it was just sex and the relationships i had, i guess we thought it was love before. ok so i slept with him,i cant live without him, go ahead and punk me.
2007-08-12 20:27:59 · 16 answers · asked by bonolarryedge 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When you know him a little better, it'll be easier to tell what your feelings really are. You feel like it's love because you are female and it's natural to become really attached to someone who you are that intimate with. My advice to you is, if this doesn't work out, next time wait longer before you start having sex with him. The emotional aspects of having sex really can screw with your rational mind. As far as your low self-esteem goes, you have to work on that, your low self-esteem will be the biggest "punk'r" you'll ever meet in your life. At every corner it will be there to pull the rug out from under your feet. Work on that, see a therapist, talk to people who can help because that is the most serious problem you'll ever face.
2007-08-12 20:37:33 · answer #1 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun no matter how good a guy is in bed, he may not feel the same way about you as you feel about him. Sounds like f-buddies to me. I mean the only thing you mentioned was sex, can he provide? How does he treat you? How is he when he's mad? What have you both been through? Do you go out and do things together? Where is the substance? I thin kyou always fall in love with guys you sleep with because theres an attachment because of the SEX! wh ydont you try a rule or somethings where you make the guy way a couple of months before giving it all away then you can really see who they are and what they are truly about. What will happen when these guys dont get sex? ever think of that?
think about it hun. sex is not the most important part of ANY relationship in my opinion. Cause if it is then it's so not real. Without it can you talk to this person about anything or do you have to sleep with him first? c'mon your body is more than someones playground, it's YOUR temple. And there us so much more to a person than their love making parts.
2007-08-12 20:37:40 · answer #2 · answered by mistista07 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to tell you anything that you don't already know. I think you fall for guys so easily when you sleep with them because you DO think that sex is such an important part of the relationship. If you tie everything to sex and the sex is good, then you equate that with your being in love.
I don't blame you for feeling this way or think you're wrong--it's just the way it is. I tend to fall for guys that have a great brain and a good sense of humor...we're just different that way and neither of us is right or wrong.
What you think is love isn't. It's more like lust with a positive kick because you seriously like them. But love is made up of so much more than just your sexual relationship. It's not even love at the beginning of a relationship! To me love takes a loooooonnnnnggg time to occur and comes after only lots of late nights talking about life, having tons of fights and still making up...things like that.
Don't worry about your low self-esteem. I think a lot of us suffer from that! And as far as your expectations that you'll never hurt him, you can't say that. There might come a time when you hurt him unintentionally and he'll say, "Hey, I thought you said you'd never hurt me!" *grin* You have to go into a relationship knowing that at some point or another, one person will hurt another. You just have to trust enough in the other person to know that they probably didn't mean to hurt you.
2007-08-12 20:37:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of women equate sex with love. I don't know why but we do. So ask yourself the question...Do I love the sex or do I love the conversations we have.
By the way sex is not the most important part of a relationship. Everyday life is...because you spend more doing other things with him than you do having sex with him.
2007-08-12 20:34:01 · answer #4 · answered by jamison 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what punked means, but as for LOVE I can tell you about that subject... People only treat you the way you tell them how you want to be treated...
No woman wakes up saying "God I hope I don't get swept off my feet today" 60% of all communication is non verbal (body lang.) 30% is your tone. So that mean's 90% of what you are saying isn't coming out of your mouth...
Men don't equate sex with LOVE... Test the love you feel for him against his feelings by not having sex, and just spending hours talking, walking, but NO sex... I'm sure you will see very quickly what it is he "loves"... I hope that even if you and he don't make it that you will learn to LOVE self FIRST!!!!! Boyfriends come and go, but at the end of the day you still need to LOVE and respect your body... Stop letting your lower half rule your life. You can have whatever it is you want you just need to learn to communicate without sacrificing SELF... Love yourself honey and you will attrack Love...
2007-08-12 21:03:26 · answer #5 · answered by HoTTTcarmel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you cannot seperate love & sex. Guys are good at that,and are called dogs for it. But in the long run you would most likely be better off seperating the two. In a perfect world sex & love would be the same,,but this is not a perfect world.
Enjoy the sex, but try to put things in perspective.
2007-08-12 20:37:44 · answer #6 · answered by nickinpa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, men and women are built differently when it comes to sex. When a woman sleeps with a man, she is not only giving into him physically, but emotionally as well. I am sure it is probably a very old, biological mechanism to promote family building. If we could all have sex and not care about the other person, we would have no nuclear families, the world would be made up of single moms and guys creating single moms.
2007-08-12 20:34:02 · answer #7 · answered by rushmore223 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to have this same conversation with your guy. Make sure you stay this brave when you talk to him. Leave out the part about the guys in your past. Leave in the part about how he makes you feel when you're together.
Do some research on what it takes to make a relationship work over a lifetime. And remember, even if this relationship doesn't work out, your growth in this area will extend into every part of your life.
2007-08-12 20:41:33 · answer #8 · answered by Beth Rorie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi;so you feel punked I'm just kidding...Hey listen you ought to know that you don't have to sleep with someone to love someone. Your person is valued in your heart and when you give it away to some one that don't value it, where is the meaning? I'm a man that have made a lot of bad decision in my life and one might say that I'm a woman on how i need my heart to be embrace to have that companionship that will give herself to me and me too her in a love that is untouchable by no one or myself nor herself. I ve cheated in a marriage that has fooled me because i put my self out there to be embrace by someone that don't know how to embrace no matter how hard i try but through it all Ive got part of my dream that i always wanted and that was my son and my daughter and when i leave this marriage i will not take my kids from there mother but i will reep the pure sacrifice of not taking the time to getting to know my heart with my companion and mending them to together and enjoying the both of them for a life time
2007-08-12 20:54:44 · answer #9 · answered by Godknows 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its the closure that they give you.. the closeness that you are looking for. Becareful when it comes to matters of the heart. Having a connection when it comes to sex is different when you have a connection when it comes to the heart. You should get out and go on dates, and use the line. "ill call you/call me" without having sex on that first date. If a second one is on the cards then see what happens. Your self esteem will go up and you will gain respect from the other.
give it a shot, what have u got to lose?
2007-08-12 20:35:46 · answer #10 · answered by Sinead G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋