My Boyfriend & his family speak a Different Language. They ALL know English- but prefer to speak their language in their house... which makes me left in the Dust!! I have NO clue what they are ever talking about. I've voiced a concern to my boyfriend and they will speak in English every once in a while- but not much. They had a lot of family members over yesterday and it was like 15 to 1 being ME. Everyone was speaking their language and I felt like I was not in the room. No clue what they would say.. I would say "What did he say" when everyone would laugh but I am kinda sick of this!! I hate always feeling left out!
Is this mean of me to wish they would speak in English when I am around? Or is it Rude of them to not think about my feelings?
2007-08-12 19:13:52 · 11 answers · asked by Boog 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Languages
I know about 20 words in his Language- but nothing to start a Convo with.
& They ALL know English. They are very fluent in English and Tagalog. But they just choose to speak Tagalog whenever they are all around.
Sometimes I've caught him saying something about me. His Mom will ask him questions about ME in their Lang. when I am around. Small things like about what I like to eat. But STILL!
2007-08-12 19:31:25 · update #1
I don't think you can say it's rude of them to speak their family language at a family gathering, and I think it must be hard for them to speak English together, even though they have no trouble speaking English to others.
That being said, it was definitely rude of your boyfriend to leave you to fend for yourself in that situation. He should have either not invited you, or talked to you more. (But not so much translated what other people were saying, that seems a little rude too.)
2007-08-12 20:51:11 · answer #1 · answered by Goddess of Grammar 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They should be comfortable speaking their first language when at home. But they also need to be considerate and not use your lack of understanding as an opportunity to conceal things from you or create some sort of "in crowd" that excludes only you.
It's not mean of you to want them to include you, and you should mention it. You'd be crossing the line only if you insisted that the family had to speak English all the time at home, that their home language was no longer legitimate just because they're in the US.
2007-08-12 19:24:23 · answer #2 · answered by Mike G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should ask your boyfriend why they don't speak English around you. It seems kinda odd that they know how to speak English yet refuse to...maybe you could also ask your boyfriend to talk to them again and see if it makes any difference. or if it is not an obscure language maybe you could learn how to speak a few words to show you've made an effort to try and fit in with them that way they may feel more comfortable around you and be more willing to speak English. Good luck!
2007-08-12 19:26:26 · answer #3 · answered by Tash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always ask your boyfriend and his family to try and help you learn the language. If you make efforts to connect with his family, there's a good chance they will be more aware of your situation and try to be more understanding. They may take the time to explain themselves more clearly for your benefit if you really want to connect better with them. The worst that could happen is you learn a bit of a language that you would probably have otherwise never known.
2007-08-12 19:29:02 · answer #4 · answered by luke s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a little of both.
In a situation where there is an entire family, perhaps some of them do not speak English? This would make it easier for the family to speak in the other language.
However, it is not polite of them to exclude you like that. Your boyfriend should be making more of an effort to include you. It's not fair for him to bring you to his family, ignore you, AND speak in a language you can't understand.
You should be part of the discussions if you are the girlfriend, so he should at LEAST be translating for you and getting you involved in the conversations.
2007-08-12 19:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by Victoria Love-Williams 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
They are pretty rude to not include you in a conversation. When I was young I had a friend who was Japanese, and even though her family's first language was Japanese, they would always speak English around me, and even taught me some words in Japanese. If everyone is laughing when you're asking them to translate, then they are especially rude, ESPECIALLY if they know English.
2007-08-12 19:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont sense so being user-friendly could be being impolite it relies upon on the perception of the persons looking at that difficulty. human beings speaking actually might seem impolite to the persons to whom the area isn't effective. on the different hand user-friendly words will seem suited to those that sense the area is effective for them.
2016-10-15 03:41:16 · answer #7 · answered by furne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has it ever occured to you that you could learn the "Different Language"?
20 words ... I bet by the end of this week you can make it 40 if you try!
http://www.everlastinglove.com/tagalog.htm
2007-08-12 19:23:02 · answer #8 · answered by Buddha-rama 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
just because you wanted to be included in their conversation doesn't make you mean...just let your boyfriend know and he could say something to his family
2007-08-12 19:22:11 · answer #9 · answered by thetman31 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no just be yourself and work it out with the other part
2007-08-12 19:22:39 · answer #10 · answered by jerryh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋