My first son starts School soon but I am just distraught about it?

Question

I feel like I am losing my baby and I don't want someone else to have his time - any advice?

Answer 1

Your just a mom. When my first started, I went home and then cried. I never let my child know I cried and always showed up to pick her up from school with a smile and excited voice over how was her day at school. Each and every year this continued and we would start the new school year off with me going home for the first few days to cry. I went through this during the year after the Holidays were over and school resumed.

When she was eight years old, we had another child. And when he became school age, we repeated the process but now I cried for two that I missed with each start of the new school year.

We went on to have a total of six children. Each child never made a difference for me and how I missed them. But I was always careful to never let them know.

As a result, today most of them are now grown and well adjusted. They all were honor roll in grade school and went on to higher learning with 4.0 GPA'S. They are all a reflection of the amount of love I felt, but never showed with tears.....I knew I had to let them go and grow to become who they are today.

We fostered children over the years, and I found many hobies to do during the day for the hours they were out from the home. They got older and shifted their needs to going out on dates, college, getting married, and all the other stuff us parents are lucky enough to watch our children grow to do .... I have no regrets from missing them in secret, nor my tears but I'm VERY happy I let them go.

I never did learn "how to let them go", but I did allow them to go on. "Letting go" of anything we truely love isn't easy, and today they all now know how much they are loved...but they also know I loved them enough to trust them on their own.

Most of all the answers above mine, said it best. Just do it and don't show your tears or fears. This is your child that you have had alone for several years now, so it is time to trust what you have taught and allow them to prove to you who they really are. Over the may years to come, you will continue to see many blessings from your child if you allow them to be who they are. Look forward to the many conversations that will come from needing help with homework, friends and the positive interaction only a mother and father's love can bring.

Answer 2

Please don't be upset about it. Believe me, I am in a position to know. I lost my wife to cancer eight years ago, and my beautiful daughter five years ago to meningitis. My son is now eight. It was extremely difficult to part company with him when I first took him to school three years ago. After all he's all I've got left. I'm probably more attached to my son than most fathers would be, but you, as a mother have an innate maternal bond. (My mum still phones me up every day, just to check I'm alright.!) I, even as a man, can understand how you feel. I didn't want to let my son go, but eventually you have to.School is really important. Not just for education, but so he has the opportunity to interact with children of his own age.
If you don't let him find his own feet then he will grow up isolated and scared. The way I coped with it was the knowing that I could pick him up when school finished, and give him a great big hug. After a few days, he'll come home and tell you what he's been doing at school, and you'll love it.
By the way, perhaps you should think about joining the parent-teachers association. It's good to get to know the people who are looking after him after all. Letting go of my son three years ago was the hardest thing I've ever done. But it was also the best. Believe me, it makes all the time you spend together even more special. I wish you all the best.
Take care,
Michael.

Answer 3

Hiya hun,

I know exactly how you feel, my eldest daughter starts full time in September and I'm dreading it.
Do you have any other children? If not, then maybe you could give a few hours to another class in the school, help with reading or trips.
My eldest will always be my baby, even though she hates it when I say it, and I'm dreading her been in someone elses care, but I know she loves school and loves been with other children.
Your son will always be your baby, it's natural, but try to relax. I think it's as much the parents job as the teachers to educate your child.

Good luck
xxx

Answer 4

I can understand your feelings completely! My daughter is 28 months old , so school is a long way off - but I am absolutely dreading it too!! You'll just have to take it a step at a time. When you are with your son at nights and weekend, spend as much time with him as possible!! He'll hopefully come home from school and talk non stop about the friends hes made!! Good luck. Keep us posted

Answer 5

Mums do feel like this.. Dont be too be too upset in front of your son// he will get upset too and will not want to go to school, and you will get tantrums etc.. Keep as calm as you can about it . Lots of mums acclimatise to this by leaving the child at a play or pre school for a few hours. Try to chat to your son and tell him how much fun it will be with lots of playmates. Whatever you do don't breakdown and get upset when leaving him at school. Talk and chat to the other new mums in the same boat as yourself,, It will help .. Drop the kids at school don't hang around, and go home , perhaps two or three mums together and have a cup of coffee . You can console one and other ..

Answer 6

I was the same as you.My boys are now 11 and almost 15.The 11 year old goes to comprehensive school with his big brother next month, and I'm breaking my heart over that.He's very sensitive and is nervous to go, but his brother couldn't wait to go to the big school.They are chalk and cheese.
Best advice I can give you is the following: Keep any chores to do when he's in school as it will occupy your mind.I make a list of things to do, then tick them off, I try and get as much done while the boys are in school.Ask a friend over for coffee.Maybe go to the gym, for a walk, swim etc.
Even though the kids do drive me nuts during the holidays by fighting, I do miss them when they go back to school.
Just keep yourself as busy as possible.

Answer 7

This is also a stressful time for your son so don't let him see it is upsetting or it will make him anxious, then when he has to go to school he will get very upset which will make it harder for you. Make it sound exciting, go out and buy his uniform together and any other school things he needs. Before you know it you'll be excited about this important milestone. And make sure your camera has new batteries in so you take loads of pictures of him in his new uniform looking totaly cute.
Good luck!

Answer 8

My son started school in January (Australia). I know how you feel...I felt the same. But you can't let him know how you feel, because then he will be scared and feel negative about it also. Once he's been going a few weeks, reality will start to sink in, and you will both adjust. I know it's hard, but it makes the time you do have together so much more special.

Answer 9

Think about all the fun he will be having, how much he will be learning, and how many new friends he will make! When he gets home from school the first day with a huge smile on his face, telling you how much fun he had, you will realize that you are not losing him, you are helping him grow!

Answer 10

I understand your feelings its a big step for both of you.

My son as had to do two years in nursery due to is birthday falling in September, so this September he starts full time infants school.

My son was keen to go to nursery only doing a few hours per day so we hope he will be OK going all day !

Time will tell.