I'm going to college soon and my BF Danny recently told me that he's worried - it's very easy to get me drunk, and he said he's afraid that some guy will hit on me when I'm drunk (because he thinks if I'm drunk, I might lower my inhibitions and make out with the guy or something)
Should I be offended or is it normal for him to feel that way? How can I erase that fear?!
2007-08-12 17:34:29 · 74 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sure you can be offended but ask yourself honestly, do you see yourself doing that? If yes, well then, I wouldn't be offended. You can erase his fears by either choosing to not get yourself drunk enough anymore that you will act unclassy, or make sure that you control yourself better when you are drunk, especially when you are around him.
2007-08-12 17:41:04 · answer #1 · answered by DL4evr 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well this is somewhat normal. I mean the fact is when you drink your inhibitions do become lower. He is worried that someone may take advantage of you or that you may fall for another guy as well I bet. This is his way of saying that he loves you and is scared to see you go off to college. He feels like him not being there with you means he will not be able to protect you if something happens. He is scared. I can kinda see where he is coming from, I have seen girls that have boyfriends in other areas away from where they are going to school that end up doing thing like that. I mean his fear is based in reality to some degree. The best way to make him feel better is to tell him and show him how much you love him before you go off to college. Then once you are their you can call him and say hi and chat with him on-line and stuff. He maybe afraid that you will do some degree forget about him. I do think he should have phrased what he said differently it was kinda,....well mean. I do not think he meant it in a mean way, it was just him being scared or of the unknown.
2007-08-12 17:46:20 · answer #2 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is worried because of movies and horror stories that he has heard about girls going away to college and stuff. You need to make him feel secure and trust you when you go. It is a fact that when anyone drinks they tend to lower their standards but you are still able to say NO. Sometimes when you drink beyond that point and don't remember what you are doing is when it is not a good thing. I think that most people have fun while they are in college and if you two love each other then you will make it but he has to trust you. I don't think he is putting you down he just doesn't want to lose you and guys let's face it you aren't the best at revealing your feelings so we have to figure them out...I think that what he is saying is that if something like that were to happen it would ruin his entire world and break his heart. It is apparent that he loves you very much. I think that if you help him feel more secure maybe he will let his guard down some.
2007-08-12 17:43:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be offended, you should be grateful that someone cares enough about you to tell it like it is. If you get drunk easy, I suggest you don't drink. My guess is that you're not 21 yet and by law, you aren't legal to drink anyhow! I can tell you this...it would only take 1 time-that's it! Only once and you could end up pregnant with no recollection of who the daddy is, wake up with a battered and beaten body with hickies all over you and not remember a thing about who did it or who all took part. Imagine being checked and finding you now have an std. Gross! Aids-how awful!! It's a gamble just like playing poker but this seems to me to be NOT even close to one that would be worth it!! Boys are thoughtless, selfish and inconsiderate (idiots) when it comes to drunk girls. Especially at college. Be wise. Make your boyfriend and others that care about you PROUD and not have to watch you DIE, either physically or emotionally because you took that chance! Peace and Best Wishes!
2007-08-12 17:43:51 · answer #4 · answered by enjoyrselves 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's looking out for you...letting you know that "it's very easy to get you drunk and guys will take advantage of that"..college is a whole different ballgame than highschool...you must have given him some kind of reason to have said that. Have you been really drunk before with him or with other ppl, that perhaps you did things you wouldn't usually do/say??
As for how can you erase his fear?? That is something HE has to figure out., and perhaps Your Actions will Speak louder than words~
Communication Trust and Honesty are the keys to a long healthy relationship* without those...you have nothing*
Best wishes*~
2007-08-12 17:42:43 · answer #5 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i think that it is normal for a guy to worry bout you like that... getting drunk makes anyone more loose...i wouldn't look into this much because hes just showing that he cares and doesn't want you to be taken advantage of....imagine how you would feel a great guy who happens to be Ur bf going away to college with all these drunk college girls around and u r nowhere to be found! what are the chances of him doing something when he is totally wasted and doesn't have a clue what he is doing! put itself in his shoes....forget bout it and tell him that u would never do anything to purposely hurt him....if he cant get past it then show him somehow that he can 100% trust you...but then again would u be able to look past it?
2007-08-12 17:42:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it really not safe there to drink with college friends or school mates? Well, I think depends on how he delivered his words. I think he's just worried because it's possible if you get really drunk and some guy might "do" you. You should be a responsible drinker, drinking responsibly means respecting yourself. Because if you got really drunk your getting disoriented and you do stupid things. He's worried perhaps some guys might take advantage of you when you're drunk and he doesn't wanna lose you just because of that. If you love your BF and well, it's okay to listen to him. Sex is good but doing it with someone you are not emotionally attach with is like acting as if you're not human. Take care of yourself because your body is temple and you can't allow some people to mess up with your temple. Most importantly minimize drinking for your health's sake.
How can you erase his fear. It's easy, just show him that your a responsible person and he will respect you for sure, that you love him and only him then every thing's will be fine. Be nice! Take care!
2007-08-12 17:40:00 · answer #7 · answered by waldenwarlock 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's normal. People wouldn't keep using alcohol if there weren't some benefits to it-- namely, making drunken, random hookups easier.
You can be offended or not. Alcohol affects each person differently, and (unless you are on a dry campus), the odds are pretty good that you will drink at some point during college. You can erase it (or at least minimize it) by staying in contact with him regularly, or by promising him publicly that you won't drink at all. If you have friends in college who will help support that promise, even better. Extreme, yes. But that's about the only way I can think of offhand....
2007-08-12 17:41:22 · answer #8 · answered by Marc M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend is not going to be with you when you go to college then his fears are justified. He won't be able to be with you when you're drunk therefore won't be able to protect you. He realizes that you are a girl that a guy would want to be with. It's not personal, thinking you would intentionally do something, but he worrys that other guys wouldn't know when to not take advantage of the situation. It's not that he doesn't trust you, it's that he doesn't trust those guys.
If your man isn't going to be with you when you go off to college, make a pact with him, and your girl friends and guy friends that when you go out together or throw a party, that they will "watch" out for you. I had to do the same thing. When I had a little too much to drink, I didn't know what I was doing really. It's not that I had to be baby-sat it's that I didn't want something bad to happen to me, and I didn't want to do anything I normally wouldn't do sober. It's good to have friends that will watch out for you.
2007-08-12 17:42:18 · answer #9 · answered by Lynn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well the truth is the truth. some women's inhibitions are lowered when they drunk-LOL u get false courage and the will not to care. . .
the only solutions is to learn what ur limit is, drink less, and take it slow. also make close girl and guy friends so that when u are drunk they have ur back.
don't get offended ur bf is just looking out for u. . .and that is a good thing
2007-08-12 17:42:08 · answer #10 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart - your bf is a smart guy. He is looking for an excuse but that tried and true fact is that most high school relationships do not make it through college. You are going to find a whole new world. Many guys are going to be attracted to you and you to them. The distance between you and your BF will be hard for you to deal with. Over time you will need affection from someone else and when the guy is cute enough you will say okay, drunk or not.
It has nothing to do with being a slut... it is human nature.
2007-08-12 17:41:55 · answer #11 · answered by Z X 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋