You have a son. He is 16, almost 17(girlfriend 16) He wants to go see his girlfriend saturdays and sundays and maybe once during the week after football practice for a couple hours. You see him every day. Would you tell him he needs to be home on Sundays because you never see him on weekends?
situation 2
Your son's girlfriend is very depressed because you yell and fight with eachother all the time(parents) and you yell at your son. You try to keep him away from her much as possible because you don't like her? Because she takes your son away from you on weekends. She gets very depressed and starts thinking thoughts of suicide. She has had a very bad past. If she told your son she was going to kill herself and didn't answer her phones, her parents didn't know where she was, would you let him go see her and try to find her?
I am his FRIEND not his PARENTS and the girlfriend has been raped and abused that's why she can't handle stress. His parents are alcoholics.
2007-08-12 16:14:37 · 16 answers · asked by anjelfromyournightmare21 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She has been to counselors and they all say it is HIS FAMILY's problem. They won't go to counseling. You can say what you think too. They love eachother too much to break up. (yes they really do love eachother)
she was also pregnant with his child and the stress made her have a miscarriage(the doctor told her this)
what would you have done and what do you think he should do about his parents?
2007-08-12 16:17:14 · update #1
dumb b*tch with the whole "they can't take care of themselves" ......THEY'RE MORE MATURE THAN HIS PARENTS ARE....and it was an accident ...i was just giving an example of how stressed out they make her!!
2007-08-12 16:29:15 · update #2
jesus people READ THE QUESTION ALL THE WAY THROUGH.............
2007-08-12 19:46:57 · update #3
they've been together for a couple years now, and the pregnancy thing was an accident and she was on birth control, and they even used protection...her bc wasn't working, the condom broke ...ok? so quit saying stuff about that.....please people keep answering....we are planning on taking some of your opinions to his parents to show what "normal" parents would do.....her parents know that she loves him so they just keep her away from the parents....but when the son is on the phone with her she can hear them yelling and cussing about her...that's why she still gets stressed out
2007-08-12 19:55:14 · update #4
actually yes stress can cause a misscarriage
Severe stress can induce a misscarriage and some health issues can cause a misscarriage.
I DONT WANT YOUR FRIKIN OPINIONS OF THE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST THE PARENTS ......god u people are DUMB
2007-08-13 16:14:09 · update #5
The son needs a life. At his age, he is pulling away from the parents and starting to need to be on his own. I would admire the son for wanting to be there for his girlfriend. He needs to be allowed to see her and spend time for her. Unfortunately, no matter how much we want to, we can't control who our kids care for. They are going to fall in love no matter if we approve or not. My advice would be to make the best out of a bad situation until they can get their own place. But, to answer your question, yes, I would allow my son to look for his girlfriend if she had been talking suicide and no one could find her. He would probably be one of the few that could find her if she has problems like you have talked about. FYI - my son will be 18 in October. I do not try to keep him at home. I have done my part. He needs to live his own life and make his own mistakes. My part is over. I will always be there for him if he needs me but it is not my job to raise him anymore.
2007-08-12 17:23:56 · answer #1 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, yelling at people who answer a question in an open forum, isn't the way to get real answers.
Calling them dumb, when they have taken time is tacky.
I get the feeling you are a little peeved because you aren't finding the answer you are looking for. Perhaps, because, the people who have answered, know from experience, and are trying to help. And yes. I read the whole sad story, and was temped to give you sound advise, but, no. Why should I? You know it all already. You keep cussing, and make up your own answers to take to his parents. already anyway. Then ask, where you went wrong. I am sure you'll love those answers too.
2007-08-17 05:26:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds pretty harsh. But yeah, It's about balance. The whole Sunday thing isn't unreasonable. And yeah, I'd want my son to stay away from the underage girl he got pregnant once already. He couldn't be trusted and it's in his best interest. If she's that unbalanced, I would be afraid of him taking further advantage of her. Teenage motherhood would add so much more stress to her situation.
He cannot solve her problems of suicide, depression, stress and abuse since he is very young himself, and not equipped to deal with it no matter how much he cares for her.
Where are this girl's parents? They should be trying to help her, not let her run around all weekend chasing after a boy.
2007-08-12 18:13:55 · answer #3 · answered by mithril 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would tell my son to go ahead, and have a life. I would ask him if he loves her, then I would tell him that he doesn't have to be under my butt all the time. I am his parent, not his lover. I would invite her over for lunch to get her mind off of her troubles. That way without looking like I'm jealous my son is in a relationship, I will get to spend time with him, and he will still be able to spend time with his girlfriend. Not all the time though because they need to have a life of their own. I will stop being the friend, and start being the parent before my son wants nothing to do with me.
2007-08-12 17:13:06 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The problem with your question is, I don't think that my answer will influence his parents.
It is an ugly situation, and one I don't think, and hope, that I won't find myself in, because I don't want to yell at my kids.
What needs to happen, is that the bf/gf, need to be even more mature than the parents. This is really hard. She needs to believe in him, and turn her mind away from inflicting self injuries ... it just makes everything much more stressful. He needs to show that he is trust worthy and can handle stress without losing his self control, as she has had enough trauma in her life in her life to justify her not trusting other humans, particularly men.
My heart goes out to everyone in this situation. Such a painful situation.
I wish you the best, and everyone the best,
I wish I had something more I could give,
Star Spinner
2007-08-12 17:03:00 · answer #5 · answered by Teak Fox 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow this is a doozy. i would request and then enforce the son to be home 1 day of the weekend. if the girlfriend is thinking of suicide whether i like her or not i would do everything i could to help her. unfortunately b/c ur the friend and not the parent other then being there for them and him. there's not much you can do. but beware try to get the girl help. while friends are very important, some clinical help might be required. good luck & god bless.
2007-08-12 17:15:54 · answer #6 · answered by l_723 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that she should go see a different counselor. if she was raped and abused and thinking about suicide she needs to talk to someone. besides almost all people who SAY they are gonna kill themselves are just crying out for help and attention, and never actually kill themselves. she kinda sounds like a drama queen. oh and stress DOESN'T cause a miscarriage, so either shes lying or the Dr doesn't know what hes talking about
2007-08-13 01:54:42 · answer #7 · answered by Olivia's Mama 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Okay...I would let my son see his girlfriend after church hours...on the weekends as long as he has his chores done...let him go and have a good time...as long as he is not doing anything stupid like drugs or drinking..if he is a good kid with good grades does his chores and comes home a decent hours..there is ABSOLUTLEY no reason he shouldnt go out on the weekends...I mean you really dont have much time during the week because of school and (for this boy) football practice..that by itself takes ALOT of time during the week.....It sounds like his parents arent the greatest...they need to go to AA and his girlfriend needs to chill out about whats going on at his house because there is nothing she can do about that...I'm sorry to say that...If this girl thinks of killing herself because she can't see her boyfriend thats a lil too serious...she needs help...NOW....and since you are the friend...I would go to the counselor at school and say whats going on....otherwise..you might be too late to save her...good luck..I hope I helped .....
2007-08-13 05:02:55 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because his parents are drunks I would have gotten away from them because he is better off w/o them. I would keep the Gf calm and try to keep her away from stress and people like his parents. I hope that was what you were looking for and I hope that helps.
2007-08-12 18:10:44 · answer #9 · answered by beauty_tells_all 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I were his parents I would let him go look for her. He likes like thats all she has. The son needs to get away from his parents thats not a healthy enviorment. I feel sorry for the gf to. Thtats a hard situation. I wish your friend and his girlfriend the best. Sorry I couldn't help. :(
2007-08-12 16:24:12 · answer #10 · answered by Carly 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋