bed time for kids?

Question

What do you think is an appropriate bed time for three kids ages 8, 9, 12? They have to go to bed about the same time because their rooms are VERY close together! They share a downstairs "apt" that has a playroom, bathroom, bedrooms, etc. Their bedtime is at 10 o'clock and my step daughter (12 year old) was giving me a VERY hard time tonight about going to bed. She wanted to "stay up and watch tv". I told her no and we had a big blow out. I just want to make sure I am not being too much of a "dud". School starts in less than two weeks here and these are kids who DO NOT sleep in! They are up at 7:30 in the morning regardless of what time they get to bed. Any opinions would be a help!

Answer 1

Mine always went to bed by 8.30 until they were around 14 then it changed and they had to be in bed by 9.30.Even if they were not asleep it gave my hubby and myself some time for the two of us.Your problem may now be that you did not enforce the bed time soon enough i think it has to be a rule from day 1.

Answer 2

At 8 and 9 years old, they should be getting a little more sleep if they have to wake up at 7:30. I would say 9-9:30 would be a good bedtime for them. The 12 year old doesnt need as much sleep so 10PM sounds OK for her. I would just make a rule that she has to be in her room by a certain time (when the other 2 go to bed) and be quiet and then lights out at 10PM.

Answer 3

The bedtime is the parents choice, when the child goes to sleep is his, however, s/he needs help to relax at bed time. One hour before his/her bedtime is relaxing one-on-one time (no tickle fights). All children should have one-on-one time. Since your children 8 and 9 are close together, you may want to help the younger get ready for bed, then overlap 30 minutes for a group storytime, followed by tuck in of the youngest, followed by getting the middle child ready for bed. So you would start your routine for the youngest, say at 7pm, 8 year old is tucked by 8 pm, the 9 year old is tucked by 8:30 pm. The twelve year old may or may not be able to manage her own bedtime especially if you allow stimulating activities such as tv or computer time after supper. However there has to be a time for her that you are "off duty" and my 12 year old seemed to function well enough if we were off duty by 9:30 pm and he did what he wanted in his room quietly until he went to bed. What is important is that the time between 8:30 and 9:30 you give her one-on-one time too. If you do that, then they don't need to have a melt down at bed time because children will have had there needs met and can anticipate the same routine everynight. It seems like a lot of work to be actively involved with bedtime procedure between 7 to 9:30 but you will be rewarded by close relationships with your children and your own peace from 9:30 onwards. Besides, bedtime is a key parenting job and you might as well make it fun and only 1.5 hours long rather than dreaded and until you pass out exhausted!

Answer 4

I think 10 o'clock is even a little late if they have to be up that early every morning. I would say more like 9 o'clock, especially once school starts!! They need to get their sleep to function properly in school. Maybe you could make a deal with them that if they do a good job going to bed on time during the week, they can stay up later on Friday and Saturday. Or, you could just make a deal with the older sibling (the 12 year old) that they have to be in their room and quiet by 9pm, but they can do something quiet til 10pm and then it's lights out. I can see why he/she might want to be up a little later since they are a bit older.

Answer 5

A 12 yr olds bedtime is different from a 8 yr olds. If this child can get up at the proper time in the morning, I would say 10 pm school nights and 11 or even later on non-school nights. This gives him some special time with you, that they need at that age.
( Connie Mom of 4 boys 12, 10 , 8 and 5 )

Answer 6

Personally I do not believe you should be sending them to bed at the same time. the 8 and 9 year old should be 8:30 and the 12 year old 9:30, my kids are in grades 11 and 12 and still hit the sack at 10-11. I think 10 is to late it should be for special nights only and treat the 12 year old like she is older by giving her some privilege's

Answer 7

10 is very fair. Maybe you can do a compromise and let the older one stay up an extra hour on the weekends or something. Try it and see if she has problems getting up if she is given an extra hour at night. My daughter is a night owl. Has been since she was born. Had her days and nights mixed up and still does. She does not have a bedtime and still gets up and goes to school with no problem. Her brother on the other hand has to go to bed by 10 or he is not up in the morning. Play with it and see what works for you. If the 12 yo can stay quiet and not wake up the other 2 and can still get up the next day at her regular time, maybe you can compromise with friday and saturday nights, an extra hour.

Answer 8

A 12 year old's bedtime should not be the same as an 8 year old's. She should go to bed at 10 regardless to what time they wake up and as for the others they should go to bed at 9 or 9:30 That's appropriate for a 9 and an 8 year old

And regardless to when school starts her sleep cycle has to be on track for school because if she stays up til 11 or 12 watching TV she is going to be going to sleep that time on school nights and eventually she isnt going to be able to wake up like she can now

When I was younger that was my bedtimes and I had to get used to them because getting up for school was just a big fuss and I needed more rest so my mom changed my bedtimes when I was 8 and 9 I had the privilege to stay up til 10 but I didnt get enough sleep so my mom changed it to 9 and she found a change in my energy and concentration level and I was pleased with those times. But at one point me and my mom was disagreeing with one another about my bedtime so she let me go to sleep when I pleased for a whole week,well that was the deal. Being that I was about 9-11 or somewhere in that range, I found it draining and very difficult to wake up at 6:30 or 7:00 going to bed at 12 o'clock and 2 o'clock in the morning so after a day or two she put an end to it even though it was a week deal and she gave me some sleeping medicine that one night to get my 10 o'clock sleep cycle back on track and I really learned from that. So you should talk to her and let her see what it's like when you stay up as long as you like and try to wake up at 7:30 again, it won't be as easy for her to wake up as it is now.

When I got older(14-til graduating highschool) my mom let me just decide when I wanted to go to sleep,of course she did I was alot older.

Answer 9

Let her stay up a bit later then the 8 & 9 year old, Becuase there is a 3 & 4 year difference. She can watch t.v where ever you have it & keep the volume down low. That way when shes ready for bed she can quitely sneak in without waking everyone up. If the t.v is in her room then get her some headphones so nobody else can hear it.

Answer 10

When I was 11 or 12, my bedtime was around 10:00 =P
I got up at 7:30 as well, and I had no trouble getting up (despite the fact that I hated school, lol). But since they're your kids, you should decide their bed time. I'd say around 9:30 or 10:00, buttt thats just based on me. =)

Now on the 8 and 9 year olds, I'd say maybe 9:00.

Answer 11

Give her til 11 and see how it works out. It won't kill her and she'll be supervised in the house. Encourage her to be in the family room, though. Lots of nasty things are on stations that have otherwise appropriate programming during the day. Just till the end of summer and then it's back to an earlier bedtime on school night. Make it clear though, if she gives you a hard time at 11, back to 10 it goes.