Someone makes you feel insecure about yourself how do you not let it bother you?

Question

There is this kid that I used to like and talk to a lot. Well when I met him I promised him I would never stop talking to him and leave him like the previous girl he was going out with. I don't want to stop talking to him as I made this promise. It's just that when I talk to him he tells me about the new girl that he really likes and how she is the one and they will be getting married. He tells me about all these girls who like him. He constantly asks me what I have done with guys and how far I have gone. He makes me jealous by talking about all these girls that he says he hangs with and that like him. What should I do? Is it possible to be friends with someone you once used to love?

Answer 1

If he seriously makes you feel bad, you should tell him. If he doesn't stop, you should stop talking to him. He doesn't deserve to have a good person with him like you, if he can't be the same for you.

Answer 2

Yes it is possible but it is hard. Have you considered that maybe he isn't aware that he is making you jealous by telling you all these stuff, maybe to him, you are a friend that he can talk to about anything and everything that is happening to him. If you don't tell him what you are feeling then he wouldn't stop and you would only continue feeling hurt. Try talking to him about it and telling him that it bothers you when he shares things like those and maybe he'll pick up the clue. Otherwise, decide for yourself if it is really worth it enduring the pain just because you promised to yourself that you won't ever leave him. Whatever you choose though, you have to sacrifice something.

Good luck!

Answer 3

If you feel insecure about yourself because of this, I wouldn't have told him that you would promise to always talk to him (plus, in relationships, these promises usually get made a lot. people always say "I'll never leave you" and it happens. it's usually a spontaneous thing.. you shouldn't be too hard on yourself for it) Anyways, it's common after you end a relationship where you really cared about the person that you might still care for deep down, because he was in your heart. So knowing that, obviously after it ends, it's hard to see the person you once loved with others... which is why most people don't talk after they break up, among other reasons. Sometimes not talking is better because it just avoids things like insecurity, jealousy, and other issues..

I'm sorry but you sort of put this on yourself. You didn't have to make the promise, nor keep it. Of course you might just really like him as a person and want to keep him as a friend but I learned it's better to let go with something like this. It also depends who ended the relationship, but by telling him you'll talk to him and with the knowledge that your relationship is over- he probably feels that you guys are just friends now and it is okay to talk about these things. He isn't trying to make you jealous (if he is, then I would drop him even as a friend because that's not a very good friend there) but he's just telling you because technically it is okay.

This scenario happens often- people break up- one person starts going out a lot with others, and the other- none at all. This happened to me- my boyfriend dated a lot while I had no boyfriends...but after two years, I finally found someone worthwhile- so things can work out in the end.

I would just be honest with him if you feel this way. Tell him you don't want to talk anymore or if you would just prefer if he didn't tell you about the girls he's dating. It's understandable.. even if you don't like him, which you might not. These things just happen naturally. It's part of being human. If you just want to drop him, say that you wanted to keep this promise but it isn't working out. He should understand if he's a good friend. If he makes you feel bad about it, then you should feel better for it because then he's just a jerk. I hope this helped!

Answer 4

Jus act as if you dont care be like Oh ok, uh huh, stuff like that, it will get on his nerves an he will stop. Also cut across him an be like, well I saw this guy an he was hot etc., an just start talking about what type of guys you like, talk about guys that he cant compare to an he'll shut his dumb mouth, he wants you jealous he gets his little kicks out of it, so play him at his own game an make him stick his foot in his mouth. Then after awhile just talk to him like a few times an just keep on until you just talk to him like every 6 months, better yet after you give him a dose of his own medcine dont call him anymore let him call you an then cut him off an say oh i have a date tonight or your talking to some guy on the other line an that you have to go an hang up. lol

Answer 5

It sounds like he is using you to inflate his own ego. Does he listen to what you have to say or does he monopolize the conversation? What do you want to bet that you're included on the list of girls who like him and can't get enough of him when he talks to the others?
It's great that you have stayed friends with your ex, and your loyalty is commendable, but you can't be held to a promise you made when you were young. People change and if this friendship makes you feel bad about yourself, end it.
If you really don't want to end it, tell him that you are uncomfortable discussing your love life with him, and that you won't answer those kinds of questions.
You don't need to let him know you're hurt. Wish him luck with his relationship, and tell him to send you an invitation to the wedding, but until then, you really don't want to hear any more about it. Let him know that it's disrespectful and inappropriate to share intimate details of his relationship with another girl, especially an ex. I doubt she knows about it, if she knows about you at all.
Steer the conversation towards neutral subjects that you're comfortable discussing.
Above all, remember, nobody can make you feel insecure about yourself but you. It says a lot about you that this guy wants to be your friend. He obviously cares about your opinion. You must be very pretty and kinda cool, because it sounds like he surrounds himself with people that make him look good. That's a compliment to you and an insult to him. That makes you cooler than him and gives you the upper hand! After all, he is pursuing the friendship with you, right?

Answer 6

You should tell him how that makes you feel, and how much it hurts you when he talks about all these other girls. It is possible to be a friend with someone that you once loved ,because me and my ex-girlfriend are really close friends, so just do your best, and if still talks about all the other girls he might not be the one ment for you.

Answer 7

He sounds like a bit of a jerk. Since you don't want to break your promise, send him a Christmas card once a year and let that be that. He's probably forgotten your promise anyway. He doesn't need you to talk to him, if he's so very popular with the girls, does he? Go find a better conversationalist to be friends with!

Answer 8

Well, it's a bit obvious thaat you still have feelings for him if what he says about his g/f makes you jealous! IF you didn't care for him at all, it wouldn't matter to you. Why did the two of you break up if you still care about him?! What is it w/him that he has the need to "hold on to" someone he dated & broke up with? You're the second one now & the first one used her head & made a complete break w/him. I'm NOT putting you down in any way, but you're still staying involved w/someone you broke up with, now are getting hurt by him because he moved on but you have to listen to his "love tales". That isn't fair of him to make you promise to still be that close to him after you broke up. You're just hurting yourself instead & this is NOT fair to you! Who is he to keep you on a string so to speak, not date you, but expect you to hear all about his love life. If I were you, I'd be honest & speak up for YOU & let him know you can't be as close to him as you've been being. You can either tell him why or you don't owe him even telling him the reason. Why are you hurting yourself over someone who honestly isn't showing you any respect! You don't deserve it, I wouldn't do it to myself, that's for sure. Just simply tell him you have to move on & you can't discuss his intimate relationship w/him any longer. Then just put a distance between the two of you. SO, the ans. to your question is NO it is NOT possible to be friends w/your ex lover!!! Case closed!!!

Answer 9

It sounds like he's testing you on your promise, but this is a promise that seems to have been made to be broken.
If you're getting jealous about his "other girls" and he's asking you about "how far have you gone with" some guy(s), it's time for you to walk away from this, and I mean FAST, because it's going to blow up in both your faces if you don't.

Answer 10

well if you guys are really as close as you sound then tell him how you.did u even ever tell him u liked him?? if not then you should and if you cant stand the thought of him with some one else then maybe your not over him.i have lots of guy friends i can tell anything to and i always make sure to say how i feel so try it and see what happens. he probably doesnt even like the girl hes probably just saying that so he can have something to talk to u about or maybe hes trying to make u jealous cuz he likes u.