How do I get my girlfriend back??

Question

I've been dating this woman for almost 2 and a half years. She is a 30 year old single mom with a 6 year old daughter. Lately, she has a lot going on. She has an issue with her ex-husband. He isn't taking care of the daughter the way he should be and she took him to court. A guardian ad litem was appointed in the case. She said that while this is court case is going on, we should take a break and just be friends. She said she wanted to take some time and needs some space because she feels that she doesn't have time to be in a relationship. She said that she doesn't want me to wait and that it's ok if I see other people. I care so much about this woman and her daughter and I don't want us to be apart. I don't know what to do. How long could this guardian ad litem take?

I've been dating this woman for almost 2 and a half years. She is a 30 year old single mom with a 6 year old daughter. Lately, she has a lot going on. She has an issue with her ex-husband. He isn't taking care of the daughter the way he should be and she took him to court. A guardian ad litem was appointed in the case. She said that while this is court case is going on, we should take a break and just be friends. She said she wanted to take some time and needs some space because she feels that she doesn't have time to be in a relationship. She said that she doesn't want me to wait and that it's ok if I see other people. I care so much about this woman and her daughter and I don't want us to be apart. I don't know what to do. How long could this guardian ad litem take? Could I negatively influence the Guardian ad litem's findings?

Answer 1

You don't -- move on. Seriously man.

Answer 2

Since she has so much going on, she may feel that she is not able to give you the attention that is needed in the relationship. I would respect her wishes and give her space. Let her know that you are still there for her though and that you still love her. Tell her you want to wait for her but you will give her the break that she is asking for. I would then wait and see how everthing goes. Don't be too pushy with it. She may not be able to handle it if she's going through a lot of stress right now and that may frustrate her. Best thing, just show her that you still care. Keep yourself open if she needs you. She may come back around once everything has settled down, or being away from you may show her that she still needs you even though she may not realize it. GIving her the space though will also help you though gain some distance just in case she decides in the future that she still does not want to continue the relationship. Good luck.

Answer 3

The answer to the last part of your piece is yes; it is possible for you to negatively affect the findings and function of the guardian. If you don't already know it , the duty of the guardian adlitem is to protect the interests of the daughter to the exclusion of everything else---period.Now to the other issue you raised.I had some ideas about remaining in a romantic relationship with your ex-girlfriend until you mentioned that she had no objections to you seeing other women. That was the deal-breaker for me.It would appear that your girlfriend1)is no longer interested in you, .no woman wants to share her man especially during a difficult time in her life..2) is using this custody case to break up with you without actually doing the "dirty job".3)is going to use any other person you date as the reason for ending it with you( I know she said you could do it).That is just a ploy.While I can understand the feelings you have and your desire to remain with her, I don't think it is going to happen. Even if everything works to her advantage in the court case , she is just going to find another reason to end it.So I suggest that you start trying to live without her just on the off chance that things don't go your way.I wish you the best.

Answer 4

hey sounds like she just dont want the ab litem guy finding out about you so that the ex can say that she has a new soruce of support and don't need his money. trust me nobody else is gonna grab her up while you two aint bangin so just do what she says. move on get your noodle wet elsewhere and when she says all is well go back to the package deal if you want to. You may love her more or maybe not. you need to find out you sound whipped to me.

Answer 5

I can't actually answer you how long does it take for the guardian thing to be off. I can only advice you on what you can do for this moments. You can actually stay close behind her but not too make her feel irritated or you're in her way. If you really care for her and her daughter, you better be patients. Is up to you!

Answer 6

Ohhh this is hard!! But sometimes relationships like this can be that she does not want you to get in the middle of it because it is not your responsibility to take action. By all means she is also look at the picture a little more differently because of the situation of the guardianship of who is going to stay full custodian of the little girl. It is sad that this is happening. But she is doing it for the concerns of her daughter and no one else right now. Don't take it personal maybe once this situation settles down and hope it goes in her favor she will look for you to come back. Wish you luck!!!!

Answer 7

Regardless of the length of time it is going to take...u need to be a fixture in their life if u want to be with her. be there after every hearing meeting or whatever....show her u don't intend on goin anywhere...granted she may be saving u from the grief of the ex's issues but at the same time she will need a friend and a shoulder at the end of thos crazy days

Answer 8

I think you should give her some space for right now. She's probably too overwhelmed with everything that's going on. Or so stress out. Just be there for her as a friend and support her through it. And maybe in time she will come back to you, if it's meant to be.

Goodluck!

Answer 9

I honestly don't know how long it can take but if you really love this woman and her daughter than you shouldn't see any one else and tell her that you are going to be there for her no matter what. And this will make her see that you are serious about being with her.
Hope it helps. Good luck.

Answer 10

well, i think your best bet is to do what she has asked of you.she either doesn't want the relationship or she is just to stress right now.that being said,the only way you can find this out is by giving her the time shes asked for.if she doesn't call you back in 3 or 4 weeks,shes probably not to interested in ya'lls relationship.it will only make it worse if you keep calling,or dropping by.I'm sorry,i hope things get better for you,i don't think shes trying to hurt you.

Answer 11

This sounds really weird to me. When my husband was going through custody and support issues with his kids, that's when he needed me by his side the most. Is she really just that independent? I don't know, man. It seems weird. If you are not comfortable seeing other people and with her seeing other people, maybe you should just end it and move on.