I was changing the water cooler at work and my co-worker offered to help me. I said, "I'm fine but thank you." He got mad and said "well fine then" in a not so nice voice. I'm perfectly capable of lifting and changing the water so I didn't need help. Did I do something wrong?
2007-08-12 13:56:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No. You did nothing wrong. His feathers were ruffled because you didn't need his help. His poor little ego is having a little tantrum for not being acknowledged as the hero that he thinks he is. He is intimidated by strong, independent women. If he is that upset, he should probably go whine about it to his psychiatrist.
2007-08-12 14:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, it's just that thin line between misogynists and chivalrists. Some men take please in helping or just want to be thanked for actually coming to a maiden's rescue... so they take it as rejection when you have your situation covered.
Truthfully, I do have sympathy for men today... they don't know "the rules of etiquette" with the "fairer sex" anymore... do I open a door for her?... do I pay for her meal?... do I call her?
If you want to make a friend of your co-worker you can work it into conversation so he can come to better understand you or you could just let it pass and see what happens next time around... I certainly hope you know how to change a tire if he sees you with a flat on the side of the road... something tells me he would use that as the perfect situation to just blow by you and tell you later he didn't stop to help because he figured you as being capable and had it all in hand.
2007-08-12 23:24:52 · answer #2 · answered by wonderful1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might be an overly sensitive person, but I can kind of understand him feeling snubbed. Here he was trying to be a nice guy and help out, even though he didn't have to, and you were (at least from his perspective) unappreciative. Generally, the most diplomatic thing to do is let someone help you if they offer. If they offer to help say something that shows you appreciate them helping, even if you didn't need it...like "Hey you want a hand with that?" "Sure, If you want to." An exchange like that is going leave everyone feeling better in the end.
2007-08-14 02:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys wouldn't have even offered to help so he must be a descent guy. However, I couldn't guess why he would be offended that you were capable and didn't need his help. Could he be attracted to you and wanted to impress you but felt shot down because you handled it yourself? I don't think you did anything wrong. If he feels threatened by your independence then he is the one with a problem, not you. Just smile and say hello next time you see him.
2007-08-12 21:08:03 · answer #4 · answered by smilegal 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A lot of the times what happens is a communication error.
He might have thought you said something like "I'm fine I don't need your help" Even if you didn't mean it that way.
Or he might have said "Well fine then" as like "alright I'm here if you need me"
But you may have misread him.
I know people think I'm being a huge *** hole when I tell them to do something because I'm very blunt. I don't beat around the bush and say "You know I'd appreciate it if you do this" I say "Hey do this"
I'm not trying to be mean just the way i come off.
2007-08-12 21:09:11 · answer #5 · answered by thyphillipcat@sbcglobal.net 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, you didn't do anything wrong. Sounds like this guy has issues. Could be that he doesn't think women should do heavy lifting, or maybe he wanted to impress you with his strength. In any case, he'll get over it.
2007-08-12 21:15:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you reply to him in a rude voice? If you did, he might have thought that you thought that he wasn't good enough to help you or something. If you didn't say it in a rude voice, maybe he was just having a bad day.
2007-08-12 21:06:31 · answer #7 · answered by ms.k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could actually SEE if your voice came out rude- I mean you're holding a 2,000 pound bottle of water & it had to be obvious you had it under control. Don't worry about it, this is HIS problem, not yours! ( :
peace
2007-08-12 21:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by Freakgirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did absolutely nothing wrong,..His little manhood was hurt because his rescue attempt failed,So he got all pouty mouthed and stomped off ,.Don`t let his childish antics bother you ,.Be the strong woman that you are and let him be the little pouty girl that he is,..Keep lift`in while he keeps skip`in!!!!
2007-08-12 21:19:41 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Goodnight. 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Even if you didn't need his help you should have said thank you and taken his help. He was being a decent person.
2007-08-12 23:11:58 · answer #10 · answered by firewomen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋