Constant arguing and just an unhealthy sex life. What do you do when u want it to work but it won't? One thing piles up after another.
2007-08-12 13:48:45 · 31 answers · asked by JuDyLicious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you know the answer. If only one person works at the relationship, its not going to work. You need 2 people giving it all. Now only you know what is what. Good luck!!
2007-08-12 13:53:02 · answer #1 · answered by scd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe things are just moving tooooo fast... I had the same problem with my current relationship.. you have to find a way to slow down and let things fall into place... When you feel a argument coming just don't fight back but listen to everything that person is arguing about... It will make that person feel like they one the fight and they will feel better... The sex thing you have to just let that happen by itself even if it means no sex for a while. The best sex only happens when both of you want at the same time... If all else fails maybe you two just need a break... Separation only helps... You will learn to appreciate each other more when you are not together as often as you are... I know this because me and my girl were going through the same thing... We decide to take a break... After about 3 weeks when we saw each other again it was like meeting her for the first time... Its the best feeling in the world... TRUST ME
2007-08-12 21:04:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go and see a councillor. Though you'd probably better find out if you are both equally committed. (My parents weren't, they went to councilling and my dad complained that other people's wives made their husbands lunch, and my mum didn't! 7 years after they split, he was still grumbling that she never cooked him an apple pie.)
Other than that, you need to identify what the problems are, very specifically. If you are always arguing over the housework, make a roster. I have a baby, so don't get a whole lot done. It's nearly impossible to stick at something long enough to finish it. So, my hubby does the cooking and I do the chores than can be done in dribs and drabs through the week, like the washing, dishwashing and the bathroom. The house is never at my desired level of cleanliness, but we keep afloat. He also vacuums on Saturday mornings, because I get vacuum cleaner rage :) Perhaps something like that will work for you. I've also found that a clean house improves one's sex life. The way to a woman's heart is through her housework, after all!
If you are arguing about money, re-organise your finances. Maybe you need seperate accounts, or to get a joint account. Maybe you need to have a clearly defined amount of "pocket money" each fornight. Maybe you need a joint hobby, not only to be spending positive time together, but money spent on it will be approved of by both parties.
It's hard, but if you BOTH want it to work, you'll find a way.
2007-08-12 21:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by Rosie_0801 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I step back and see if there is a way to work it out. Then if not, I ready myself and then say it is over. It is always sad and kinda heart breaking, but it is usually for the best. Better to have a little while of sadness over not being in a relationship with that person, than wanting to smother that person in their sleep with your pillow. I do not think it is ever wise to stay in a relationship just because it is more comfortable than breaking up, or just because you are scared to. If you do that then both are usually always unhappy and you end up hating one another and breaking up anyway. It is just healthier and better to go on and get it over with and try to remain friends. I am sorry that this is happening, but know that we all kinda go threw this at some point in time in our dating lives.
2007-08-12 21:00:57 · answer #4 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look at each issue you two are dealing with that is making your relationship go downhill. If most or all of the issues cannot be compromised or fixed between you two, then you should break up. Sorry to say it, but once a relationship starts to go downhill, it's much harder to try to save it.
2007-08-12 20:52:42 · answer #5 · answered by girlygirl8 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
first off you need to ask who is trying more at making it work. if only one heart is in it its not going to work. try a trial seperation. 2 weeks. no seeing each other. if you have to call her try to limit to once a day. if you are happier on this break than with her then you need to let it go and make it an official break up. if you both cant stand being without each other then there may be a chance to come back and work out your differences. good luck
2007-08-12 20:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Open up talk about what you feel if you don't the other one is going to think you lost interest or even get some psychologist help but don't do the whole separation crap it will just drive apart. trust me I've been in the same situation and it worked out in the end.
2007-08-12 20:54:48 · answer #7 · answered by kimmie f 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You try counseling, but if that doesn't work then take a break. Sometimes, absence will make the heart grow fonder, but if it doesn't, then it's time to move on. Just don't move on without know you've exhausted all your options. Good luck, hope it works out.
2007-08-12 20:52:41 · answer #8 · answered by DRE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your significant other that your relationship is not what it should be. It is important that you are happy so you have to be more selfish but explain your dismay in a way that won't hurt. You need to move on. I hope you find the words. God Bless
2007-08-12 20:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by Em 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling. Take a week off to go on a vacay and bring that intimacy back. Sit down and talk about all of your problems, and if all that fails, I dont know honey, it might just be time for you two to part ways. Good Luck.
2007-08-12 20:52:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋