i cant find any girls interesting after a painful breakup. is it me or should i just be patient?

Question

ive been wrecked for two years and counting and i am pissed that someone has messed me up for so long- i dont want to become an old hermit, but the way things are going i probably will end up bitter and alone!

Answer 1

they did a scientific study on this and I can vouch for it. It takes 3 years 2 months to get over a broken heart. I was a wreck for three years. thought about it all the time, cried, didn't eat, etc. Then it just lifted, and now I would run over him, if I saw him in the street. I'm just sorry now that I wasted three years, two months of my life crying over his sorry ***. You will heal and be stronger. I am proof. good luck to you.

Answer 2

What's wrong with you? Why are you having so much trouble getting over it? Come on man. Are you just making a big deal over something because you have nothing else to focus on? If you really got hurt that bad, maybe you should be focused on ridding yourself of those wounds. You should not pay so much attention to this particular girl. She's gone now, and so are you, and it's obviously for the better. All breakups are bad and painful. But 2 years is way more than sufficient to move on, or at least to stop being a cripple. I understand why you maybe haven't forgotten, but I can't understand why you are still bitter. My last relationship was difficult to recover from and induced much anger and loss, but I sure as heck was back on my feet after two whole years. Even when you miss them, and when you've tried and failed, and when you are still attracted, and all that mushy stuff... after a certain amount of time, it's just OVER. Yes, there are memories. But do they hold you back? No. So stop whining and reminiscing, and go do something to better yourself. Don't be anyone's fool. I'm sure that one day you will find someone else, someone much more suited for you. Maybe it isn't meant to happen until later. Who knows. Just leave it alone, and quit sobbing over spilled milk. If you had her back, you probably wouldn't want her anymore. Life is tough, don't let it get you. Don't be mad at yourself, everyone makes mistakes and you still have plenty of time. Good luck.

Answer 3

How you end up is up to you. If you don't take some action to get out of your "funk" you will end up bitter and alone.

You need to be patient. If finding interesting girls is on the top of your priority list, move it down a few pegs and put something else up there.

What you are doing is wallowing in self-pity. You think that a new, interesting girl is going to fix you. Someone has not messed you up for so long, you have messed yourself up by not taking charge of your own life.

If you can get counseling, that would be really helpful. Time doesn't change anything, as you have already seen. What you do during that time is what is important. You have done nothing for two years but feel sorry for yourself.

Your destiny is up to you, my friend. Stop blaming your ex for your situation. Your own thinking and inactivity got you where you are. You have to participate in your own recovery. Healing doesn't come in the mail or show up at your door. You have to pursue it.

Answer 4

WRONG! You have committed two years too many to a lost love. Just how many more do you think will be enough for you to feel vindicated, or do you want to continue being a victim? The time is now. Get up, get out there and meet some people. I'm not saying jump into a relationship. You HAVE to take it slow - you are surely going to be one to compare and drop that piece of material into your already too-full suitcase (baggage). Have you ever thought about reading some self-help books that will give you some insight as to 'why' you are allowing yourself to drown in your sorrow? Life is too short to be unhappy. You should really think about how precious and good your life is and how wonderful you are and who is missing out on all this wonder! You were not meant to be alone - and two years can make you rusty - it's time to get back up on the horse and go for a gallop. Start slow and don't weary the women with your tales of woe. Put it behind you -and start having some fun. Go in groups if you have to so you won't have to 'be alone' but you can start checking out the possibilities without feeling frustrated or rushed too soon.

Answer 5

After two years, it's probably time to start looking...with a casual but hopeful attitude, open to anything good that might happen.

You might consider different situations than the one in which you found the woman involved in the painful breakup. Think about what you want in a partner and look where someone of this kind is likely to be found. If, for instance, you want someone who's tenderly devoted to you and a good cook, the best prospect is probably hanging out at an advanced cooking class, not out in a club at three a.m.

If you are to the point where you want to get married and don't want to mess around with players, consider a matchmaking professional. You will pay for the service, but it will be focused on your needs, and you'll be introduced to people who are also serious about getting a mate. It could save you a lot of time. If I wanted anything permanent, I believe I'd go that route.

Answer 6

When someone breaks your heart, it can take a very long time to heal and I know the feeling oh so well. You have to learn to move past it and be able to separate other women from her, they are all not the same type of girl. I walked around with the idea in my head for a long time that all guys were the same cause some guy messed up my head but one day i realised Im too damn wonderful to let anyone else bring me down. You just gotta get out there and mingle with the singles and forget about her, dont spend so much time alone, get into some type of hobbie or pick up a college course or something, anything to occupy your time so oyu have little time to really dwell and eventually you will wake up and be like wow Im over it, it takes time sweetie

Answer 7

dont worry,

i had the same problem - i didnt date anyone for 13 months and that was mainly becoz after the last break up i just couldn't seem to find any guys i was interested in and just couldn't be bothered with "love" anymore.

then when i finally did come across 1 guy who seemed atleast worth getting to know as a person a bit better and who took me out for the first date in over a year - after a couple of txt's and phonecalls a week or 2 later, it turns out that he's really not that interested and i probably wouldn't have a chance with him anyway.

that's life but hey...

sometimes you just gotta deal with it! but never give up!

I feel the pain of the world and the human race seems to be so self obsessed and people usually take what they can and give nothing back to others anymore. The state of the world is horrible and its only gonna get worse...

on that note tho.... finding "true love" - that fairy tale ending is probably all that's left to keep most of us going. If we dont have that hope to hold on to, then whats the point?

Answer 8

Breakups are usually painful but to suffer in it for 2 years is way too long.
Aren't all breakups like that? You had already had the sweetest part in this relationship, the bad one has come now.

I see that the one who are messing up your life is you yourself now. I dont know if you can "see" it. You know that you dont want to become an old hermit, yet u still choose to wreck your life.

Answer 9

2 years is WAY too long to be hung up on a break up. get over it, get on with your life and forget about them.. It is not worth your time. While you are pissd at this person and the world you are not allowing the space for someone else to come into your life... People don't like pissed off bitter and alone hermits....

Answer 10

Two years is not a worry. The worry is if you will ever find a perfect match for you. Patience is the key. if you look at the right places, you will find one. Most men have a problem to start conversation when they met a woman. Most of them are shy to say even the word you are beautiful, I don't want to be a nuisance but I am very much impressed by your looks, are you single, am single to. and the rest of the words will flow........Practice, and courage will pay off. Take you fishing gears and go out fishing and you will catch some and get shocked how easier it was to catch fish. then choose the right one to cook.