My mum is dying.?

Question

my mum has had cancer for about three years now and i think this is last week among the living. we have had numerous amounts of blow outs and we havn't talked for about 15 months would i be a horrible person if i just didn't visit her?

Answer 1

If you don't talk to her now, you'll regret it forever.

Answer 2

You would not be a horrible person, however, I think in the long run, you would be a person full of regret.

We all make mistakes and I have gone through this with my Mom. Today, I spoke to her for the first time in over 24 months. I have come to realize that no matter what, she will always be my Mother and nothing I can do or say is going to change that. She has wronged me many times, but I am the better person for forgiving her!!

Can you live with yourself knowing that you had the opportunity to reconnect with your Mom, but didn't take it?? This is something you will have to figure out for yourself....but don't take too long...sounds like she is running out of time!

Answer 3

Well it is really all in your opinion if you are a bad person or not. Although I do think since your mum is dying, I think you need to talk to her and make some kind of peace before she does die. If I was in your position and I did not talk to her I know that I would feel guilty for not atleast saying 'I am Sorry'. Even if your mum does not say anything back or says hurtful words to you after your apoligies you shouldn't take it to heart because what your mum is going through right is very difficult for her as well as yourself. So in my opinion I feel that you should tell your mum that you are sorry for all the fights and that you truly care for her and love her.

Best wish

Answer 4

If you think you will regret it, then you should visit her. But, it doesn't make you a horrible person if you don't.

The last few days of life are really not anymore important than the others. It's all about how things were along the way, not just the ending.

Sending you vibes of peace for your decision.

Answer 5

Horrible is an understatement! Let bygones be bygones! Quite obvious you are feeling guilty about not speaking to your mother so take this opportunity to ask for forgiveness from her. Mothers are very forgiving don't let a few disagreements eat at your conscience the rest of your life. As you can see life is too short so count your blessings and go visit your mother before it is to late. Sound advice I hope you do the right thing.

Answer 6

Yes you are a horrible person if you don't visit her. She have one more week to live and I can believe that you are still having the time to sit at the computer and type this question. She is your mother and she raised you. So GO SEE YOUR MOTHER OR ELSE YOU WILL REGRET FOREVER.

Answer 7

you should go see her before it's too late. after she's gone you will feel terrible if you don't. i know you still love her or you wouldn't be asking this question and , me being a mom i know she still loves you. so go now while you still can and make peace with her. you will never regret it.i have a copy of a DEAR ABBY column dealing with this very thing. it is titled SHOW LOVE TO THE LIVING TO AVOID REGRETS.there is a poem at the bottom of the article that says "love me now while i can know the sweet and tender feelings. which from true affections flow, love me now while i am living" there is more but too long to put here. by all means go to her and let her know you still love her. my son hasn't spoken to me since 1991. i and none of the family know what his problem is with me and he won't tell. i am sending the DEAR ABBY article to him. i recently had total hip replacement surgery and would have appreciated even a phone call from him but got nothing. my other two sons were very much present and caring. oh well, that's life, i guess. good luck with your mom.

Answer 8

That is up to you. That would be your conscious if you don't want to forgive her from your heart. If I were you, I'd go and visit her. I have had many fall-outs with my family, I had learned to forgive them years ago. It was hard, but it freed my heart from hate. Forgiving isn't easy sometimes. You just have to look into your heart and find the answers for yourself. This is not our decision to make. You have to use your intuition and find out for yourself.

If you feel you don't want to see her then that is up to you. If you do want to see her, kudos for you. If you are truly uncomfortable, write her a note, or a poem to take to her. You know if you visit her, you don't even have to say a word, your presence there would be enough, she would appreciate it...

Answer 9

None of us know what went on between you and your mother. If she were at fault, she may want to see you to apologize. If not, and you were at fault, then maybe you have something to say to her. Either way, it is good to give it a chance.

Remember the Lords Prayer: Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive forgive those who trespass against us.

However you would want to be treated in her place, that's how you should treat her. This may be your Mom's last chance to get things right with you. Without bothering to go you will never know.

Answer 10

Visit her ...

Bring her flowers ... tell her you love her ... and thank her for bringing you into the world.

Don't be a coward and take the easy path

Don't let her go to her grave with an open issue, give her peace, and let her feel good about everything.

Don't let your ego dominate, let her ego dominate this one last time.

Five years from now you see the wisdom in this advice

Answer 11

it wouldn't make you a horrible person, but i STRONGLY advise you to go visit her. think of all the good things she's done for you and all the good memories you have of her, there has to be some. Do you really want her to die thinking that you hate her? I'm sure it'd make her really happy to see you one more time and to clear the air. Also, you'll probably live the rest of your life regretting not seeing her and feeling guilty about it.