Wedding day etiquette??

Question

My fiancee and I are starting to plan our wedding, and we wanted to get some opinions before finalizing plans. Our wedding date is June 20th (which will be very hot in our part of the country) and we really want to have an outdoor wedding. To make this tolerable for ourselves and our guests, we really have to have the ceremony around 10:00 a.m. The problem is that my fiancee would really like to have a traditional night-time reception with dancing, etc...Would it be unacceptable to have a several-hour lull between our ceremony and the reception (we are planning that the guests will all have hotel rooms in which to spend this time; we would also socialize with them)??? BTW, we are having a ceremony that includes only our immediate family and friends, the reception will be the time for everyone we know to celebrate with us, so those people obviously wouldn't have to wait. Please give honest opinions, we don't want to offend any of our friends or family.

More info: we live right in the middle of central Illinois, so we really don't have ANYTHING fun for our guests to do in the downtime. An evening ceremony would really be TOO hot. What would you guys think of something akin to a luncheon reception?

Answer 1

The amount of time between your ceremony and reception should be no longer than 30-60 minutes - especially if you don't have anything planned for your guests. If you really have your hearts set on an outdoor wedding and reception, you can make it more bearable for guests by provided a tent with AC ... most rental companies can assist you in finding an affordable tent with AC. You should also make sure that the driving distance between each site is no more than 30-45 minutes apart so that your guests don't have too much of a lull between things.

Answer 2

I live in Arkansas, so believe me I know what hot Junes are like! However, a lot of brides here have outdoor evening weddings. They usually plan them for about 6:30 or 7. I've even done a few at 7:30. We have the programs printed on fans (these can be ordered online) and offer bottled water to the guests while they wait for the ceremony to begin. This actually works quite well if you do the above two things, and remember these two things:
1. It will be absolutely imperative that the wedding starts right on time!
2. It will be absolutely imperative that the wedding ceremony itself is short. (no longer than 20 minutes start to finish!)

That way, you do not have the lull in time. Especially if there is nothing for them to do. Consider this too, the family will not want to dress up, go home & change & hang out for the whole day, dress up again & go to the reception.

Either way you do the ceremony, I would have the reception in the evening if most of the guests are staying overnight. That way they will not have a lunch reception to go to, and then be clueless as to what to do that evening.

Answer 3

I know if I were a guest, I would hate to get dressed up, go to a ceremony, and have several hours to kill. You could do an outdoor evening wedding...the temperature should be cooled off by the evening time, and guests won't have a lot of down time. I don't know how late the sun sets in June where you live, but here, there is still plenty of light at 6 or 7 PM, which would enable you to have an evening reception directly following.

Answer 4

youmay want to rethink the times a bit. Can you get married later in the day? The problem with a giant time gap is that people [secetly] hate that and many, especially older more traditioal guests expect you to provide a place for them to go. They will also expect refreshments to hold them over til the party. Also, it is very inconvienient for those guests who have to drive just far enough to make it hard for them to go home. In all honesty, many guests that are invited to the ceremony may not attend and just wait til the reception. You may have a pretty empty cerremony. Also, you may be uncomfortable for that long in your dress and won't feeel your best when it comes time for the reception. Does your reception site have grounds that you can get married on outside? I am not sure where you are getting married, but if you are really se on having a 10am wedding, you could look into having the reception under a tent. Many companies decorate the tents to the point that they look like outdoor ballrooms and are absolutly gorgeous. Youcan also rent 'ar conditioners' from these companies to make it feel like a cool indoor area. For that time of day, instead of doing a formal formal thing, you can do a cocktail reception with lots of food stations and let people mingle a bit more.
I think the first thing you need to decide on is what is more important in terms of location. The ceremony or reception and plan around that. One thing to consider though.. people tend to be in more of a party mood as the day gets later and darker, so they may be more motivated in regards to dancing and socializing later in the day.....
Good luck

Answer 5

That sounds very reasonable to me. If you're having several more guests at the reception than at the wedding, then most of them won't be waiting around between events.

The only possible disadvantage of having an early wedding and late reception is that some people who are attending both events may have to book a hotel for two nights instead of just 1.

Otherwise, it sounds fine. I live in Austin, and typically by June 20th it's already pretty hot! Your guests will be much less annoyed by a time gap between events than by having to sit/stand around in 95 degree weather at 5:00 or 6:00 in the afternoon.

Good plan, go for it.

Answer 6

Ultimately this is your decision, only you can make it. HOwever, my opinion is not very high of this idea. I dont care for wedddings that have large time gaps, regardless of whether or not we have a hotel room or live near by.

I also dont care for the idea of having a private wedding and a big reception unless the ceremony is a destination wedding where not many people will attend. If you are having this all in the same town, I think its very rude to be exclusive with the ceremony part. Peopl will know that you wed early in the morning and wonder why they werent invited to witness it. They are good enough to party with and give you gifts, but not quite good enough to witness a major life event that you have only just, hours before, gone through.

Sorry, I know this rains on your parade, but I wanted to be honest so that you know there are people out there who will feel the way that I do.

Answer 7

If there were a huge gap I'd only attend one of the events.

I would also be a little put off that you invited me to only the reception and not the ceremony and vice versa.

Find a nice shady place and have an afternoon/evening ceremony.

Answer 8

Speaking strictly as a guest I would not attend if there was a huge gap and if I were one of the people only invited to the reception I would not attend either. Have the wedding later in evening outside or keep it indoors.

Answer 9

My first thought would be that the big time gap would probably break the mood a little, people get all dressed up to see you get married, get all happy about it, then have to piddle away the afternoon until the reception. It might be strange, but it could still be an okay way to do things. Maybe you could just find an outdoor site that is usually cooler in the evenings, somewhere shady?

Answer 10

why not have a sunset ceremony? It could be beautiful - You could have a brunch or golf outing in the morning and then get married. i live on the water on the east coast and even the hottest day at sunset is beautiful...I was a wedding planner for a while but it all depends on what you want. Several hours between seems difficult for even the bride and groom... but it that is your choice go with it...you could plan something for them to do during that gap maybe?? a bus tour or a boat ride....