When is it acceptable to fling feces at a fleeing shoplifter?

Question

Choose one. Explain your answer. Choose wisely.

a. After one verbal warning. Aim for their head. If you can get them to look behind, toss it in their face!
b. Never. That might be illegal, not to mention a civil liablity!
c. As soon as they leave the store, don't let them know that YOU know that they have shop lifted, sneak-up behind them and slap them in the face with feces.
d. Chase them down, then do #2, squating on their face!

Answer 1

Let me get this straight...."ah...Hem"...To fling it means I must hold it in my hands. Hmmmm...Not good.....First of all would I start looking for some feces to throw? Like would I say...... "OR"...... walk up to a man or woman and say "Hey! Could you please drop your pants/dress/shorts and give me a load so I can throw your feces at that man who is about to shoplift? What? Yea! Soon as you are done I will throw it at that shoplifter and I will be a hero. Gee!!!

Answer 2

Either c or d... Though where I'd randomly find some feces to slap them in the face with, I don't know...

Answer 3

e. Only when your birth certificate lists you as a monkey. A real monkey.

Answer 4

how about none above ???...i'll be da**ed if im going stick my hand in some poop to catch someone i could care less about..with my luck id hit him good and he would sue me..boy would i feel like 'crap'.....beam me up scottie (have a star mr anti)

Answer 5

are you on crack or something? did you honestly think of this one on your own? obviously i'd go with B.

Answer 6

This is your best one yet, im gonna go with C....LOL

Answer 7

this entire post is absolutely ridiculous

Answer 8

a. Splat!