had the worst day ever today...i was at my bf's last nite..this morning his ex who he left me for came round to pick some more of her stuff up, my bf told her she couldnt come in and when she reliased i was there she put her hand through the glass to open the door and broke in..she started screaming she was going to kill me and started scratching my bf's face...i was upstairs so i called the police who came within 5 mins. both me and my bf were shaken but whats worse is hes lost faith in himself now and says hes not strong enough to be with me...i love him so much and i dont want to let this come between us. he says he shud go back to her and make her hate him so she will leave of her own according but i know that wont work. ive told him im going to stick by him and make this work but its hard to stay strong for the both of us when he has so much doubt...its like hes broken. i wish i could ease his pain and make him see she wont be like this forever. what else can i do?
2007-08-12 08:19:20 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm so sorry his ex is so violent. But on the bright side, it sounds like you've been perfect so far. Very supportive. Tell him you will stand by him no matter what happens, and that you love him. Then, if you're sure that this plan to get back with his ex won't work, tell him so.
Convince him it's not his fault. This will pass.
2007-08-12 08:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by fab expert101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first word that came to mind after reading your post was "beware". I know you love this man, but you should really sit down and look at how you both got together. I began a relationship the same way and at the end he ended up doing me the same way he did the girl before me. He left me for another he was dating on the side. People dont realize this but they're lives go around in a circle. Unless they sit down and make a decision that they will change then they will perpetuate the same scenario again. Do you really want to be with someone who cant stick up for himself? Who was shady from the get of you both getting together. Plus he jumped into a relationship with you rather quickly so there my still be lingering doubt's and feelings on his end. Be careful. I hope it all works out to the best.
2007-08-12 08:36:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him then the best thing you can do for him is to give him the space he seems to need to grow stronger. We men are very strange, we have to go to the breaking point before we can see what is most important.He obviously still has strong unspoken feelings for this other girl,and you being in his life doesn't allow him to do what he would do if you weren't there.The hardest thing you might hear is that at this point YOU CAN NOT HELP HIM! He has to be a man and make a decision,and stand by it no matter what. Let him know that you love him and intend to be with him,but he has to make up his mind as to what he really wants.The only way this works is if your a strong enough to let him grow.he cannot be afriad to hurt this other girl, for your sake, sometimes when it comes to love it's alright to be a little selfish.he doesn't have to destroy her but he needs to move on, that means no calling texting IM's unexpected visits he needs to let her go.
2007-08-12 08:40:21 · answer #3 · answered by Jarrett D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm....that's a tough one. I'd be a bit sceptical of his idea about going back to her to "make her hate him". Why would he put himself through that? I think you both need to go away for a few days and have a serious talk about what to do. Make him see that you're prepared to stick by him no matter what and that you guys splitting up is simply not an option. If he's feeling this way, you need to be the strong one and show him that he has your support. Remember that actions speak louder than words.
2007-08-12 09:08:31 · answer #4 · answered by Vicsta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a tough situation. You're with a man that left someone he was with and went to you. She is hurt, feels betrayed and sometimes even though we aren't normally like that, rage takes over and consumes us.
He feels guilty for hurting her and ashamed. Now he has two people, who's feelings he has to take into account. This is a woman he loved and now has devestated her by this. He has to wonder, if he has made a mistake. Maybe she wasn't the one for him and you are, but couldn't he have gone about it differently. Even though he really knows its to late to go back and change what has happened, he wants to, but can't .
Is this a man you're going to trust? He left her for you. Will you always wonder if he still loves her and wants to go back? There will be alot of doubt and insecurity for a while to come. This is a relationship that is getting off to a very hard start. It may work out and be the best ever but, there are alot of issues to be dealt with for all three of you. I hope the best for you all. Goodluck.
2007-08-12 08:34:48 · answer #5 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough. It seems like you are in the middle of a sticky situation. He should never have involved you in that. Leave him and give him time to get her out of his life. Let him know that you do NOT deserve to be put in the middle of this. If he has doubts give him time to sort them through. Tell him you will be there for him when he is sure he wants to be with you. Good Luck!
2007-08-12 08:28:23 · answer #6 · answered by Exipnei 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a YOU problem.
You are sleeping with a man who JUST "broke up" with another woman. The break up must have just happened a short time ago, as she still has "stuff" lying around.
Find someone who will look to you first, rather than someone who needs a crutch to lean on.... this guy has issues, and apparently likes the crazy types.
2007-08-12 08:28:41 · answer #7 · answered by Joe G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, I think he could be a bit whimpy. Let's be honest it makes you wonder this "I'm not strong enough to be with you" smacks of a let down. Watch yourself, it's a no win situation here: either he has no backbone, in which case not a lot of good for you or: he is trying to let you donw gently, again not a lot of good for you. Plus, you don't want some pi**ed of woman on your tail. I think you should look after number one here and blow him out. Sorry, I know it's harsh but it's my opinion. Take care, Lottie xx
2007-08-12 08:33:55 · answer #8 · answered by lottie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you need the services of a professional hit man...?
Seriously, pull yourself together, this is all par for the course. Get your boyfriend to get a solicitor to put an injunction out on her and if she tries it again, she'll be locked up and out of your way. In the meantime smoke a joint and relax, you'll be laughing about it all this time next week...
2007-08-12 08:29:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to start acting like a man and f**k her off. Not much else you can do is there flower. The first guy's right though, you do look young to be worrying about this
2007-08-12 08:27:20 · answer #10 · answered by Manc Lush 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋