Getting Over It???

Question

I was seeing a guy for about 4 months and he was my first. he said i love you and was so sweet to me. after a while he started getting distant and all of a sudden stopped returning my calls. after 3 weeks i got a hold of his friend and his friend said that he said he didnt know how to tell me but he has a new g/f and he said hes sort of blowing me off. i dont understand how a person can do that to someone, after everything, just make them wonder and hurt them like this. i would of never known if it wasnt for his friend who told me. i didnt think he was like that at all and i feel stupid and i feel used and horrible about myself. it bothers me that im so hurt by this but hes already done and over it and has already forgotten about me like nothing happend. how do you get over something like this??

Answer 1

The harsh reality is that many, many men ( people) are like this. They will tell you all the right things and everything they think you want to hear to just to get what they want from you. Some are vicious enough to hold out and go through great lenghths just for sex. Sex ( your body)is actualy the greatest gift you can give a guy, once you give it to them and they did not really care about you it is easy for them to walk away. It is going to hurt and it may take time to get over but you will get over it. Take the lesson you have learned in this situation and use it to make you stronger. Peoplewill not always be honest with you, take your time.n If they relly care for you they will not pressur eyou and they will wait as long as forever if need be.

Answer 2

First of all.. I'm really sorry! It really sucks that your first did this! Unfortunately guys don't have the same feelings as girls! Girls seem to care more when sex is involved. A guy can just get it and go. My first, did practically the same thing but, the relationship didn't last as long as yours. I am 27 now I was a teenager at the time. It hurt for a long time! I felt used and sad! I tried to let it go and get on w/things... Eventually the pain got better. We sorta remained friends. Later that month he told me he loved me and I said; I like you as a friend!
It's very unfortunate this happened to you, just try to find something that can keep your mind occupied. Hang out w/friends, get a fun hobby. Eventually you will find someone else who will hopefully treat you better!!!!
Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

First let me say how sorry I am that something so crappy had to happen to you. Some people are just horrible...

The only way you can get over this is to remove the incident from your mind, or at least be able to stop dwelling on it. Take care of yourself: eat healthily, exercise, pamper yourself. You're worth it, even if some crappy guy made you feel otherwise. Spend time with your friends, and remove any trace of him from your house. Get rid of the pictures, the gifts, anything that would call him to mind. With time you'll get over him, perhaps not even realizing when exactly it happens. You'll need about two weeks to a month to feel better, so just focus on you, and not what's happened.

Answer 4

First of all, you have been used, but you're not alone. A lot of women and probably a few men have gone through the same thing. It doesn't mean that you're stupid either. Learn from it and move on. There's some guy just waiting to find you, but don't rush into the sex part. It can be a wonderful part of a lasting relationship, but its not a good idea to get that involved so quickly. Good luck!

Answer 5

there's no recipe to getting over something like this. this guy was just too chicken to be open about what was going on. if he stopped caring for u, then he shld have told u. that was so wrong of him.

all i can say is go day by day. because like i said, there's no recipe to follow for this.

and i promise it does get easier as each day goes by. how long it will take. u just never know. for the secret is. wanting it to change. and letting it change. letting and wanting those feelings to go away.

just let it happen, don't try to hang onto it. and try to learn from it. sometimes history has a horrible way of repeating itself. but only u can make sure it doesn't.

good luck to u, Star!

Answer 6

To be honest, most people will blow each other off when someone new comes around that they were looking for in the first place. They look at the options at the time and use people in order to make it better for them.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry that you got hurt - but it can happen so easily especially when people don't get to know each other and their values well before giving too much of themselves.
Take it as a hard lesson - and next time - spend more time getting to know someone before you give them your heart and your body.

Answer 8

I am sorry for you it took me years to figure this out for myself. You cannot look for closure from him because you will not get it. Anything he has to say will not be good enough nor should it be. Look for closure within yourself and focus on getting on with your life. Don't close yourself off from the possibility of love just cause of this idiot. throw yourself back out there but now you are just a little wiser.

Answer 9

Maybe he felt uncomfortable and things were moving too fast. Anyway, this guy sounds like a jerk. You shouldn't feel horrible about yourself. It's his loss, and your gain. There are better guys out there and you'll meet someone who doesn't treat you like crap because you don't deserve to be treated like that.

Answer 10

oh honey im sorry,how old are you?It is hard when you have sex for the 1st time it does feel like you are in love,and yes it does hurt,men are dogs sweety,thats something you will have to deal with your whole life,but sounds like you are young,and you will find someone new and time will heal the pain believe it or not