Is it wrong if I threaten to break up with my girlfriend unless we go where I want to go on our dates?

Question

For example, my girlfriend loves Mexican food but I like Chinese food so I told her that I would break up with her unless we went to the Chinese restaurant I like.

Another time, she wanted to go to the beach, but I didn't want to pay for the gas money, so I had her come to my house and we just talked for an hour. Of course, I threatened to break up with her if she didn't comply to my standards.

When I tell people I do this, people are looking at me in disgust. Is this wrong for me to do this? I figure that if I'm paying, I decide where to go.

Answer 1

YES! That is reali wrong. i can talk about it, but dont threaten to break up with her. That shows immaturity that You will leave if u dont get wat u want.

Answer 2

If I were to guess, I would say chances are, unless this girl has absolutely no slef-esteem whatsoever, if you keep threatening to break up with her, she'll eventually do it for you. I would think she would get tired of the threats & tell you where to go. I would if a girl did this to me.

It also sounds like you may not be ready for a relationship. The point of a relationship isn't having the power to make someone else go where you want simply because you're paying. In a good relationship, you'll each want to go where the other one wants sometimes simply because you each want your partner to gain happiness from the relationship. She should occasionally be suggesting Chinese, & you should occasionally offer Mexican without prompting. Also, she should occasionally be offering to pay to ease the burden on your wallet.

Sad to say, your approach often works to secure a girl in a relationship, at least for a while. I have never understood why, but many women seem to like being treated like garbage. I have lost more than one girl to guys who are not only domineering like you, but who are even abusive. I would say eventually this girl may break up with you, but if she's like the ones I've mentioned, it probably won't be until you've married her & caused her to pop out some kids. I think these girls view guys who treat them badly as challenges, but if being a challenge means treating girls poorly, I would much rather offer no challenge & just treat her the way I would want to be treated. I believe there are women who appreciate men who live by the Golden Rule.

Answer 3

Yes it is wrong.

A relationship is two people not just you. So what if you're paying. To learn more about her and her feelings and likes and dislikes, you'll have to go where she wants sometimes.

It would be best if next date you ask her what she wants to do and where to go and you go along and say nothing negative. Try to learn about her.

Currently you are being very selfish and demanding and you will not have a girlfriend for long with that attitude. Further the girls will talk to others and you'll have to go farther away to find a date that hasn't heard of your problem.

Stop using the threat to get your way and learn to compromise. That means one date do what you want and the next do what she wants (even if you don't like it). Just maybe you'll learn something and also find some of the things she likes and wants to do can be fun and interesting. Try it.

Answer 4

That is totally wrong! You disgust me too! Here's what I think you should do. On one date, she decides where to go. On the next date, you decide where to go. Take turns deciding where you should have your date at. Apologize for threatening to break up with her, because that was really sick. It would be diff if all she wanted to do was drag you around the mall making you carry all her stuff. But you just wave off her date suggestions like she never mentioned them, sounds like. Ugh! You can also take turns paying if you want. Each person in a couple needs to pull their weight in a relationship. You sound too immature to be in a real relationship anyways, always wanting your way and threatening her when you dont get it. If I were her I woulda broken up with you a long time ago! Your current way of dating should go to heck.

Answer 5

Yes,it's because you are being mean and rude. What woman in their right mind would go for that? If I pay,I don't expect to go where I want,if he pays,he doesn't expect me to go where he wants OR ELSE. What a control freak you must be,that's sooooooo wrong. It's called comprimise,look it up in the dictionary. You can't always have your way,that's SO immature. Is Chinese food worth breaking up for? If so,then do HER a favor,and actually break up with her,sounds like you've got a twisted sense of priorities,since food and doing what YOU want is more important than her,or the relationship. Sounds like you'd BOTH be better off alone.

Answer 6

why are you gonna threaten someone you are supposed to love? Don't use your relationship as a barging tool. that crap gets old FAST! one day she just might git sick of your crap and say "well bye then!" And if you keep saying it it's an empty threat and she'll figure it out. Don't make threats unless you can take a negative response. But it sounds like your girl is a chump and does what ever you want so you won't "break up" with her. If you really cared about her and her feelings you wouldn't be willing to break up over stupid stuff like Mexican vs. Chinese food.

Answer 7

YES! Either you like your girlfriend or you don't. If you are going to be in a relationship that means compromising. Sometimes do what she likes, sometimes do what you like. But you are behaving like a spoiled brat child. "Do what I want or I won't play". BORING. Grow up or GET OUT of that relationship. Sounds like you are a control freak. Oh and by the way, it's okay for the girl to pay sometimes too, so don't be holding the purse strings over her head. If you make a LOT more money than she does and can afford to pay easier than her fine, but there is nothing wrong with taking turns footing the bill either. Compromise---interesting!

Answer 8

No looks of disgust from me, dude...but I do think you are being a slight childish. You wanna act like a grown-up about this? Compromise. Here's an example:

You get chinese food to go from your restaurant. Get her mexican food to go from HER restaurant. Go to the beach and have a picnic (you pay), and then tell her that it's her responsibility to pay for the movie at home afterwards along with the snacks and goodies (pocorn, etc).

If she doesn't budge on this, THEN it's time to rethink who she's really in this relationship for. But simply saying that you figure if you're paying, you decide where to go, YOU'RE the one that looks like the spoiled brat. COMPROMISE, you might surprise yourself how well it works.

Answer 9

I think it is wrong for you to do this. It shows immaturity on your part. You should not threaten to break up with your girlfriend because of something so trivial. You should learn to compromise and let her pick the activity one day and you can pick the next day. I understand that you want to go where you want because you are paying for it, but if she is not having a good time, then I'm sure you aren't either. To sum up, I would just learn to compromise a little and stop threatening her, no one likes to be given ultimatums.

Answer 10

Yeah, that's wrong. You're acting like a spoiled baby. The fact that you're paying is only relevant to the people who are perparing & serving you food; you're not buying your girlfriend's company. If you don't stop doing that she's going to get tired of that and eventually break up with you because no one wants to be in a lopsided relationship or one in which someone lords the smallest gesture over them like it's an epic offering. So, if you really value her, try to knock that s h i t off "yesterday". I'm glad you asked that question so that maybe we can intervene before you wind up losing someone precious to you. Alright, you know what you need to do, so have at it. Good luck.

Answer 11

I really, really hope you're just posting this because you're bored and hoping to get a rise out of people. Just in case you're not, though, a relationship involves two people. If you're not at all interested in doing what your girlfriend wants from time to time, and you're willing to break up with her over something as trivial as eating somewhere that isn't your first choice for one insignificant meal, do her a favor and make good on the threat next time so she can stop wasting time on someone who thinks money gives him the right to control her feelings.