my husbends brother died when he was 15 years old of cancer this has caused his familey a great deal of pain . twice a year his whole family gos in to a deep depression, on his birthday and the day he died. when we first started ti plan this baby he went to his mother and asked if it would be ok with her if we tried to see if we could have the baby born on his birthday to celibrate his life insted of morning on that day. she said it would be fine. when we learned that we had opertunity to indouse the baby on that day we went to her again to ask her and she said it was fine but went to the rest of the fanily behind our backs untill his sister screamed in the frount yard of our home and told us we hade no right to do that among many other disrespectful things in frount of my mother! when I asked her to stop yelling at me her mother defended her I was verry proud of my self all i did was ask them to leave my husbend dose not want them at the birth and I agree we dont need the drama
2007-08-12 05:41:01 · 8 answers · asked by lilly v 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am so sorry. You are WAY too involved with them. You have a right to have the baby whenever you choose. THis is only between you and your husband. Definitely dont call them until you are HOME from the hospital as they might decide to visit. You need complete detachment and if your husband objects, explain that it is for the welfare of his new baby that you need separation from them and their drama. If he wishes to see them, he may go visit. Tell no one anything about the rest of your pregnancy and or birth and let the phone take messages. Im sorry you got into this but they are using the other sons dath as a power control issue in your marriage and this twice a year depression thing is part of it. If you do not take radical steps to change this, you will not have a marriage. They should be ashamed. What a way to celebrate a dead sons life!
2007-08-12 07:03:36 · answer #1 · answered by barthebear 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Seems there is quite a bit of mixed feelings behind all this, and I am not clear as to why you would want to add more emotion to it - can you see this?
I guess you are looking for confirmation on your decision to NOT join in on the emotional exchange, right? OK, you made the right decision on that, but now you have driven a big wedge in the family unit, which will make everything between the families even more emotional. I say, let everyone have their rights to their feelings, be the bigger more mature people, and invite them anyway. DO NOT use your child as any kind of "weapon" - - it will always backfire on you in the long run.
2007-08-12 06:09:48 · answer #2 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like your in laws have a few issues to deal with, I just hope that for the babies sake they do not reject him/her because he/she was born on this certain birth date. I would think once the child is born they may change their attitudes...and see how the miracle of birth is a wonderful thing, and maybe not dwell on the past so much. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-08-12 05:49:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know this question is old, but I would have handed the sister in law a counselors card to call. They sound off and are not mentally sound. I hope you have stayed far away from this toxic family and not exposed your child to them.
2016-12-30 11:24:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like they have some issues they need to deal with. I would not just keep them from the birth, but from the baby all together. that's not a good environment for a child to be raised in.
2007-08-12 06:16:31 · answer #5 · answered by Steven E 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There's too much dependency in this family......they need to get some breathing room and each one needs to learn to grow up.
15 years ago this family froze......help your husband be the first one to thaw out.
***Note your mother-in-law is not responsible for the actions of her children if they are older than 18.
2007-08-12 05:48:28 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People deal with grief in different ways, if your husband and you decide that you want to honor his brother by doing that, than by all means do it, but be prepared to be osctracized by his family.
As for how you dealt with his sister in the front yard.....well done. You are the bigger person.
2007-08-12 05:48:00 · answer #7 · answered by Michael H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in basic terms tell her you take exhilaration in her help, yet which you and your husband might like some privateness and can like her to knock in the previous entering your abode and to call in the previous she comes over. Then verify and supply her the comparable admire!
2016-10-10 01:42:56 · answer #8 · answered by ramswaroop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋