I am 14 years old and my boyfriend (4months) proposed to me on my birthday (august 11). He is sixteen and going into grade eleven. I am 14 and going into grade nine. We talked about the details and we have come to the conclusion that we want to wait until high school is out for both of us. I'm not sure what to do though because he bought me a ring and everything... i know that i am very young to be engaged but i love him. Can anyone help me???
2007-08-12 04:51:17 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Grow up first. I guarantee you that this is not going to be the man you marry.
2007-08-12 04:53:23 · answer #1 · answered by nowhereuare 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Good Idea on waiting for you both to finish high school.
Did you accept the ring yet? If it's love, than you always want what is best for the other person. Holding off making such a major move in your life is very good idea. You have only dated 4 months. Just not enough time to know things about each other. Like how you handle problems together, where to live, pay for the things you will need. How would he handle become responsible for taking care of you.
Neither one of you most likely have not had to be responsible for bills, household expenses, setting long range goals. How do see yourself living five years from now?
It's great to be in love, things are so great . Try to see a full picture of the two of you and type of life you can build together. Plan And save for you future. Today's feeling are just that, feelings. Feelings sometimes pass on into other outlooks, dependent upon what;s happening at the moment.
Take time to think this out and enjoy you young life. Talk to someone who maybe has gone through the same thing you are now.
2007-08-12 05:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by Dana G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely wait until high school is over for you. If 4-5 years from now you still love him then you can get married. Tell him a promise ring is more age appropriate and equally sweet a gift rather than an engagement ring. Also, tell your parents. I really doubt that you will marry this guy. Most of these childhood crushes (you are a child for 4 more years) don't lead to real adult relationships. But some people do marry out of high school and sometimes it does work out so good luck with either way you go.
Right now focus on high school! It's going to be a very exciting time for you, don't limit yourself.
2007-08-12 05:00:08 · answer #3 · answered by az 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In today's world getting engaged like people did back in the day at an early age, doesn't work anymore. It's good to feel love, and to be in love to experience life, but the problem with it is that people change as the grow into adults, and that's the truth. What you thought or your guy thought was cute, and lovable when you were 14 or 16 changes when you're 19, and then when you go college, it changes again. We just mature and become settled in our wants when we become older. I think it's great that you love each other and want to be in each others lives, but you have to think of the BIG PICTURE. If you want to make the right decision for the future whether it's with your present boyfriend or not, I think you should wait and sort things out correctly.
2007-08-12 05:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by #1bob 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Engagement, followed by the marrige, is the affirmation of commitment for the long lasting relationship between a man and a woman. However, marriage is a huge responsibility and both should be fully prepared for it physically, emotionally and economically. While physical and emotional stabilities come with the age, economic stablity is achieved only by proper education and a stable career.
At 14, you are barely out of puberty and while it may look absurd to you, but the fact is both of you are yet to be physically and emotionally strong. Besides, being in grades 9 & 11 is hardly a proposition of economic independence.
His proposing to you at this age is at the most sentimental ouburst which is the result of infatuation, a very normal behaviour during teens. I am sorry to say but it is highly likely that it would fizzleout sooner or later. If you accept his proposal NOW and if he backs out later, it would hurt you much more than it would him if you delay your 'yes'.
Other than the infatuation, there could be two more reasons for his proposition. I hate to say that but either he is insecured of your friendship/love or he wants to legitimize his intention of taking you to bed which you are probably denying him.
So, my advice is that be a sensible girl and have talks with him explaining that both of you are still very young to take up the responsibility of engagement. Marriage anyway in not legal at this age. You can assure him of your love and ask him to wait till both of you are at least 18. If he really loves you, he would understand else you know what he wants and then he is not worth a dime.
2007-08-12 05:30:07 · answer #5 · answered by s_shiromani 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello please don't take this the wrong way but first things first my opinion is that you are to young to date. Second at 14 it don't seem like it now but you are to young for this you have a howl lot of living ahead of you. Third at 16 and 14 you may think you are in love but I am telling you love at those ages it is not real and four months is not enough time to truly know some one as good as you think. I know it feels real and your heart will get broken. But you need to slow down and give you and him a chance to grow up first. When you are in your 20's you will look back on this and feel very different so please think long and hard about this before you make some mistakes you can't take back. Also I have to add this if he is pressing you in to something or telling you that he loves you and only you and know one elsa will and so forth you need to tell your parents and get out of the relationship. Boys at thees ages not all but some are after one thing and one thing only use your head and go with your gut usual it will tell you if it is right or not. If I were you I would wait until I was sixteen or seventeen to date and only date guys your age not younger and no older and please wait until you are at least 20 to get serous at that age you have a better idea of what you want than at fourteen. You deserve it and owe it to your self to think ahead and have the best life possible so don't close the doors that have not open yet. Last but not least talk to your parents, gaurden or a trusted adult they all were teen agers once upon a time and weither you know it or not they do understand more and know more about how you are feeling and what you are going threw better than you think. Please think thees things over before you make your mind up. I hope this helps you Good Luck!
2007-08-12 05:28:40 · answer #6 · answered by Rottweiler 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are both insane. Absolutely insane. You have NO clue. So, the little prince marries the little princess and you both move to a big castle and live happily ever after? ROFL!!! You have NO clue.
Let me be the one who takes the time to fill you in. You get married and are immediately pregnant. You drop out of school. He has to get a full time job and drops out of school. You are poor. I mean really, really poor. You have to endure endless humiliation because of it. You argue constantly. He works two jobs, you work part time at a gas station for six bucks an hour late at night, when the weirdos come in and scare you. Your arguements turn into fights and he starts drinking because he's so unhappy with life. Neither of you can get a good job, you fight all the time, you start gaining weight and aren't so "cute" any more. He starts fooling around with someone cute and then dumps you. You are now a single mother, raising maybe a couple of kids in total poverty. Your life sucks, it is crap. And then, it gets even worse.........
Wake up, get some sense, and don't let your hormones control you like that. This is not the time in your life to be even considering marriage because you are highly immature and poorly educated. You don't have the resources to make a marriage work yet. Where the heck are you kids' parents? Are they not aware of what you are up to? Or, are you growing up without parents, or parents who are on dope, or what? You badly need a genuine adult to step in here and wise you up.
Kent in SD
2007-08-12 05:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by duckgrabber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, you're only 14!! Truth be told you probably dont even know what love is. You two have only been together for 4 months. It isnt love, it's just a little crush! He's 16. Well does he have a job or anything? Have you to talked all the details out? Are you both going to college? Finish school, go to college and get a good job. Then talk about being engaged.
2007-08-12 04:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My dear girl, please...heed my advice.
You have a long way ahead of you and too young to be engage. I'd suggest you focus on your studies, get good grades aim for a degree and establish your career before you decide to plunge into this whole engagement thing. Marriage is a serious matter and no joke. The 'love' word is easy to profess by anyone but in reality it takes a lot of commitment, responsibility and sacrifice. You've only known your boyfriend for only 4mths now and if he really loves you he'll wait until both of you are mentally, socially and emotionally ready to settle down. Also its important that he's financially stable first before you decide to marry. In the real adult world everything is money. Me myself got married when i was 20 and it was a love marriage but we got divorce as we both were too young to understand the responsibilities of a marriage. Now im 25 and happy where i am now. Working, travelling and meeting lots of people. I do go on dates here and there and its wonderful. But its all up to you to decide as its your life and im sure you'll know whats good for your own future. I wish you the best for your future.
2007-08-12 05:05:44 · answer #9 · answered by Nadya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If both of you are in love with eachother, there shouldn't be a problem in waiting until highschool is out. I'm the same age as you, going into grade nine, and I do think that we're way too young to be engaged. I mean, you haven't even started highschool yet. Trust me, it's a good idea to wait.
2007-08-12 04:55:04 · answer #10 · answered by Foxy_Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 14 I fell in love and dated my first husband. All through high school. He was the only one for me. Problem was I wasnt the only one for him. I believe that you can find a form of love at your age. But let me tell you this what you want now is NOT what you will want 2 years from now, 4 years from now or even 10 years from now. You are a very young girl and you still have your whole life ahead of you. Plenty of time to meet other people, date other people, You may end up with this guy and you may not. I know people who met and married young and stayed together their whole life. It is not impossible, but dont sell yourself short. There is more to life than you can even imagine at your age. I wish you the best of luck. Don't forget to be a kid. Because it goes by way to fast, and you will have the rest of your life to be an adult.
2007-08-12 05:12:59 · answer #11 · answered by Makingitwork 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋