I am concerned about my 6 year old because.....?

Question

she says she has nightmares all the time and her imagination from the bad dreams come to life. She is afraid to be alone, and is practically attached to me by the hip. i cant even go to the laundry room. This concerns me because her grandfather (her father's dad) is schizophrenic. I took her to a psychiatrist a few years back (when she had a similar complaint) and they said it was too early to see signs of that and that she was suffering from anxiety. This all began again after her aunt (her dad's sister) died last month in a car crash, could this be the reason for the recent behavior change?

her dad and i are divorce. the first incident occurred shortly after our seperation...

Answer 1

Childhood can be traumatic. 6, although seeming sophisticated is still very young. Divorce and death can bring on anxiety absolutely and its manifestations may be very abstract from the actual incident. I am curious what was suggested to alleviate anxiety in the past and did it work?
How is your anxiety level, mine and my kids are surely related.
My son is 6 and can get very fearful, he recently was at a magic show that 'channeled' the ghost of the king of rock and he spent the next several days concerned that Elvis was going to come and haunt him. My daughter (Now 11) also went through this phase, this is an age of magical thinking.
What I do is some positive imagery before bed, we would read a sweet bed time book (not one where the angry step mother poison's you with an apple) and then I have them close their eyes and I have them imagine they are on a cloud or by a river in a safe place, maybe the person or animal that makes them feel safe is with them or even imaginary creatures (unicorn's whatever) sun shining on they're face on and on and it seemed to really work....For bed time at least, as for the day I let them stick to me as much as possible.
Good luck

Answer 2

This is separation anxiety. The first instance occurred after you and dad separated and the next instance occurred when Aunt died. She is seeing her caregivers leave one by one and is afraid that if you leave her alone (even for a minute) that you will never come back. At 6 years old, she knows she cannot take care of herself.

There are some really good books at the library for this. I would stay away from any book written in the 80's or earlier as a major theory change occurred in the 90's for treating separation anxiety. I would also consider child therapy because these are major life events that this child is going through. Loss of a significant relationship due to death ranks high on the stress scale and so does divorce.

Answer 3

A death can cause all manner of abnormal behaviors in young children. When my dad died, my 4 year old started having accidents. I don' mean once in a while, I mean like 3 or 4 times a day. I didn't think he even tried to make it to the bathroom. But he and Grandpa were very close. So it certainly could make her have nightmare. And of course she sticks to you like glue. She may be afraid that you are going to die like her aunt did. My son and I have had a lot of talks about death since my dad. At first, he was very scared about what would happen to him when (not if, but when) I "got dead". Just continue to reassure her that you are there, that she is safe. If it makes you feel better to take her to a counselor, then by all means, do so. It certainly can't hurt anything! Just love her, and make her feel safe, and she should be fine. And don't be afraid to ask her questions about the way she feels about her aunt's death. She needs to talk about it!

Answer 4

Signs of Schizophrenia won't show up until she's older... teenager at the earliest. However, it does sound like she's having anxiety problems. The death of an aunt (were they close???) could certainly account for a recent resurgence of the anxiety.

Take her in to her pediatrician. Since this isn't her first episode, and since the anxiety is SO severe, they may decide it's time for some therapy and/or medication. Medication in children is a double edged sword. You have to watch them because sometimes the medication can make things worse. HOWEVER, this is important, sometimes if you start them on medication when they're still young then they're body adjust and they're brain re-writes the neural pathways so that they do not have the problems as an adult. For instance, your daughter is having alot of anxiety. This likely could continue into adult hood. However, if they manage to medicate her appropriately now, it can teach her brain to react without panicking, so that later when she stops the meds, her brain is used to doing something besides panic.

In short, give her lots of love, and talk to her doctor about it.

Answer 5

Wow, it's sound's like we have a lot in common with our children!! My son was 4 when my Husband and I separated and I never thought he would take it as hard as he did. It was not a messy marriage at all so to him it was not understandable at all and at that age they really don't understand and he is now 7 soon to be 8 and he has the harshest anxiety I have ever seen. It has such an effect on him that he is almost not function able some day's at school or at home. It has been a very hard road and having him clung to me non stop is very hard sometimes. There are times that he gets so worried or scared that he will throw himself into a shock like state and bring a fever on and get the runs and get sick! . I have added you to my contacts and would love to chat more about this. He still runs into my bed, He will not go into the bathroom alone. He won't go into his room alone. it's very harsh. I have read a few books on it and I suffer from it also but not like that. I encourage him that he can do it and once he has done it I praise him like crazy and say see look you did it and your ok! I do a lot of talking with him and we finally are getting the school to help us out as just now in grade two they realize that he has a serious anxiety disorder !! please do email me or chat sometime if your on line.

Answer 6

Was she close to her aunt? How much does she know about the circumstances? It could certainly be the reason. Would it help to talk about the aunt, and explain that she is now in a better place, but is still watching over her? If u have any sort of belief at all, I really would recommend prayer.Jesus said"perfect love casts out fear, so ask Him to drive the fear away, if u are able. Hope this helps

Answer 7

It may be too early to make such a drastic diagnosis, but you really should take her to see someone. Even if it's just a therapist who can listen and maybe suggest some strategies to try at home.

Recent events could very well be the cause, and a psycologist or therapist would be able to help you get to the root of the problem. Be prepared to have several sessions, there's no way one visit will be effective.

Answer 8

at six kids are just learning about death and to experience it first hand makes kids have anxiety, before this dying didnt mean what it means to us, my just turned 5yr doesnt understand it too much but my 7 year old is learning to concept it, our kitten had to be put to sleep the 5yr thought when she was all better we could go get her, but the 7 yr knew we couldnt and asked questions about it, i know it is more painful for human then animal for most people but the process is the same sitdown and talk to her or get a book, that she will understand, explain it to her in a way a six year old can understand, without scaring her too much, let her know its normal to feel the way she is feeling, maybe she has some questions for you, ask her, best of luck to you and your daughter, she is just going through some stressful times

Answer 9

It sounds to me like every time there is a devastation in her life she has these problems. Maybe it is time to take her back to the doctor and explain all the behavior, maybe since she is older they can help her. Know child should have to go through life terrified

Answer 10

Yeah, she's stressed out. Do what you can to reduce her stress level and continue being reassuring and loving toward her. Is she in school? Age six is in some areas where they really up the pressure to perform, that may be exacerbating things. Poor sweetie.