At work, a woman I thought was a friend begged me to go to the movies with her, and a male employee, who asked her to go and she agreed. This Wednesday evening. Really, she doesn't want to go at all, and wants me to go to be a buffer. We are all over 45.
I said no, she kept nagging, so to be polite I said I would think about it. By the way she is married, I am too, and he is not. I have no intentions of going, as I don't even like this guy. It would be a friends-only thing, but even then I don't want to spend an evening this way.
Other employees think she has some nerve and I am sensible not to go. I think if I agreed, she would back out and leave me stuck. Any way it happened, someone would wind up hurt or embarrassed, as I am now, and I didn't even do anything to bring this on.
I feel like she sees me as some dumb sucker she can rope into this. Why would someone do this?
Is there anything else I can or should do or say, besides be firmer about my intent NOT to go?
2007-08-12 03:20:03 · 4 answers · asked by danashelchan 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's not about this woman seeing that she can rope you into something. Don't let YOU get roped. She can't force you to go - the choice is yours.
Have a back bone. If you had no intent to go in the first place, you shouldn't have said you would think about it . . .you set yourself up by giving her hope. You were smart to see the red flags - so next time just say no or that you'll pass.
If you really can't tell her a simple NO, tell her something has come up (hubby's boss is coming for dinner or something.
Don't worry about politeness - be truthful and save yourself!
2007-08-12 04:13:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well ya know you are over 45 (I am 47) If you don't want to go then don't!! There are several things I don't do anymore..Run around and clean up the house when someone rings and says there coming over..If they don't like my house with the dirty dishes in the sink and the dirty rug, then don't come over. BTW I work 50 to 60 hours a week and I get tired. And I don't do anything I don't want to do..within reason.If you don't want to go then don't everyone will still be alive tomorrow. If you don't want to do that use " I don't feel so good" for a excuse
2007-08-12 07:35:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are two possibilites here.
1. This guy invited her out and she wants to go. She wants you to go along so it doesn't seem like a date. She doesn't want gossip that she went to the movie with another man. Don't go along just so a married woman can "date."
2. This man is interested in you and she is trying to set you up with him. If you are not interested (I can see you are not); then do not go.
Just tell her that you do not feel comfortable going and repeat it as often as necessary.
Good luck to you.
2007-08-12 05:41:20 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just wouldn't discuss it with her.
"No thanks, I have plans." This is entirely true--you have plans NOT to go.
"I really can't--thanks for asking."
Just smile and change the subject if she keeps bringing it up.
2007-08-12 04:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by Catherine A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋