Wives: How do you feel about your hubby being a stay-at-home dad?

Question

I'm researching this the topic of stay-at-home dads. Many seem to pooh-pooh the idea, but I'm interested to find out what you women think. Would you encourage your husbands to be stay-at-home dads? Or would you prefer to let them be the breadwinners? And why?

Answer 1

if i could make enough money to pay for everything...HELL YES i'd love for him to stay home with the kids. he's far better at it than i am.....and my house would be cleaner......lol

Answer 2

I encourage all men to at least try to stay at home. If only they could learn to appreciate the role. I think that in this day and age there is nothing wrong with a man staying at home. Or being "working dads" where both parents work. Working moms have a job and still come home and parent. Whether the dad is working in or outside of the home or is a house husband men should be and are taking a more active hands on approach to parenting and domestic duties. With the rise of single fathers this benefits not only the mothers (who get a break ) but also the children who learn from their parents examples. If for some reason your son grew up and was in a situation where he was the primary caregiver to his children he would need all the same skills and knowledge we pass on the our daughters. On a different note, until we get equal pay for equal work it also financially makes more sense for the man to be the bread winner.

Answer 3

I am a Stay at Home Dad. My daugher was born seven months ago, and I have been home with her ever since. When my wife and I first talked about it, I was not sure. We both have good careers, both have MBA's, but the difference was I already lived out most of my dreams, while she is just starting to.
It is not an easy pill to swallow, very old fashioned people will look at you like you are less of a man becase you let your wife bring home the paycheck. However, you need to be a bigger man and not take their comments to heart. I actaully find the more and more I take my daugher to the mall during the day, there is a dad just like me sitting in the food court, giving his child their bottle.
My wife often tells me I do a better job than she would being home all day. The baby is changed, fed and happy, the laundry is done, the house is clean and dinner is on the table.
I often tell people being a Stay at Home Dad is more challenging than when I was an Investment Banker on Wall Street. I am exhausted by the time my wife gets home, I barely have the energy to go to the gym at night.
The greatest part of my new job is that I get to spend quality time with my daughter. These seven months we have formed a special bond; will she remember these months we had together? Probably not, but I will!

Answer 4

As of right now, i am a stay at home mom. My boyfriend is the breadwinner. If it was the other way around, i wouldn't mind at all. The number one reason being, that staying at home is just like a job, you just don't actually leave for work in the morning. Sometimes i'm actually envious of my boyfriend's job. He gets to get out of the house and go to work. He gets to take breaks when he wants, then his day is over at a set time. My day is very different. I'm home with the baby, which i really do enjoy. All though, i can't just take a break when i feel like it, everything you do revolves around the baby. I have to wait to eat, and shower. When the baby is whining, a lot, i wish i could escape to a normal job sometimes. Then when my boyfriend gets out of work, i'm still on duty until the baby goes to sleep. All in all, we both really do hard work, and i appreciate what he does, and he appreciates what i do.

Answer 5

My boyfriend works a week on and a week off so he is more or less a stay at home Dad- well every 9 days out of 14. Believe me- women have always had the traditional role of staying at home because men can not multi-task. Any by multi-task I mean having the washing machine and dishwasher running simultaneously. My son has benefited from having his Dad home- he can now build a fort out of the couch- yet not put it back as a couch after, he can play the xbox way better, and he's a dab hand at making toast.

Answer 6

There is NOTHING wrong with role reversal in the male staying at home and the woman working outside the home, whether there are children to raise or not. This is the day of equal opportunity. Look at the show "Whose the Boss" where Tony worked for the woman as housekeeper and child care.

My hubby stopped working and I continued to work to the consternation of many family members. But it worked. I loved my job and he did the majority of housework and all the yardwork. We shared in other areas like laundry. He did everything but dusting and windows LOL

If we had children and hubby wanted to stay home with them, it would have been great with me. My feminine side would have not been insulted and I could do the role modeling after work and on weekends, a good role model for female children to be what you can be regardless of gender.

This is not the 1950's and today men and women should and most do share in the equal raising of the children, especially if both have jobs to provide the lifestyle they want for their family. And with the high cost of child care, if the Dad wants to be the one at home, why not? Who said that females made the best parent?

Answer 7

I don't think you are wrong to want more at all. Everyone deserves to be supported in what they want and happy with their life. I think that if you go back to work so he can keep his business going, then you guys can compromise on a few things. I personally don't see what is wrong with setting a time limit to get this business going successfully to where money is coming in and you no longer have to borrow anything to make ends meet. If after that time period everything is the same, then its time to call it quits and get a job working for someone else. I would require him to help you out more NOW regardless of whether or not you go back to work or not. He needs to take some of the household responsibilities off of your hands. It sounds like you two need to sit down and have a real heart to heart regarding where your life together is going. It sounds like you need to have some timelines and goals in place - things that will make you both feel more comfortable, and also things you can both look forward to - vacations, etc. I would tell him that you need him to help you around the house, and give him specific things he can do each week so he knows what is expected of you both. Also, tell him that you will be taking one day per month to do your own thing, and if you need arrange daycare for that day, then do it. It is fair. I just think you guys let it go a bit too long undiscussed and now it will be a bit harder to compromise because he is used to things being done for him.

Answer 8

I think it's wonderful for dads to stay home with their kids if the moms want to be the ones at work. My husband was a stay at home dad for a while, and he really liked it for a while. In our situation, I just happened to make more money than him anyway, so it was a no-brainer and he was happy to do it. Men have traditionally been thought of as the money-makers and the women as the home-makers, but I think it's good for kids and other adults to see dads taking on that role (as stay at home dad). It helps people open their minds a little too. Plus, I think it's good for the kids to get some of their care and nurturing from their dad too... it can't always be mom. Then the kids are getting influenced by both parents, not just one.

Answer 9

Well, I love my husband, but he would be a horrible stay at home dad. He would spend all his time watching tv and playing video games and when I got home I would still have to clean up the house. However, he is a very intelligent man and makes an excellent salary at his job. Our lives will run much smoother if he works and I stay at home. Plus he just wouldn't have the same connection with the kids as I would. When they have a boo-boo, kids want their mom's, not Dad. I have no problems with a stay at home dad, I just don't think the man I picked would be very good at it. I also do not think he would feel fulfilled in life. He wants to get out there and bring home a good paycheck so I can run the house. It is just what we were taught to do, and we do it quite well. I think a roll reversal would just mess us up.

Answer 10

My husband is a man who adores his children. Unfortunately, he is easily distracted and hates being seen as the controlling type. I took on a part-time job, put my children's clothes out at night and when I went to pick up my daughter from nursery, she was wearing a t-shirt and shorts. In November. And there was snow on the ground. He honestly could not see why she didn't have the knowledge or understanding to appreciate that couldn't judge what she should or should not wear. That kind of thing happened for a while. If he had full charge of our children, I don't think they would ever brush their teeth, see a dentist or an orthodontist. I think they would suffer, so I wouldn't do it. Ever.

Answer 11

I am a SAHM, so I would prefer it that way. My husbands uncle is a SAHD though, and I see no problem in it. I guess I prefer to be the one to stay home because I feel more secure with my husband being the bread winner. If he were to stay home and I was to work I wouldn't feel as secure (I think, it hasn't happened since we have had children so I'm not sure). I guess it would depend on my job though.