If you are about to receive shocking news, how to you want to get it ?

Question

If you were about to have an important transition in your life, what is the best way to inform people? This would be an event such as:
pregnancy, engagement, promotion or termination, a death, you're coming out of the closet, you realised your were adopted, etc.

Is email an appropriate way to send and receive this information? Is Snail Mail more appropriate? Would it be more proper to make telephone calls instead? Should these things be reported in person (if possible)? How would you do it?

Answer 1

It really depends on the person and the circumstances. If you think about it, until recently in time, most important annoucements had to be made by mail ~ there was no other way people could do it. Nowadays we have plenty of choice!

For close family and friends, a personal announcement of an important event or occurrence is the nicest ~ not just because it is 'proper' but because it gives them (and you) a chance to celebrate with hugs, handshakes or whatever. If the news is bad, a personal announcement allows you to spend sympathy time with the people concerned, and that is so important.

For people who are not so close in your life, announcement by mail or email is fine ... as is a telephone call.

In the case of a telephone call, leave plenty of time to talk with the person and explain all the circumstances. And, if you promise to follow up by letter, do so. These things mean a lot to people, especially if they are at some distance from the centre of the 'action'.

If you are making the announcement by mail or email, give as many details as possible, and if you can, also include a reply address.

Personally, I have made important announcements in all the ways discussed, without causing offence to anyone. The most important thing is that people feel you want them to share in your joy, or that they be told promptly of bad news, so that they have plenty of time to respond to it.

Cheers :-)

Answer 2

In the many cases you have specifically mentioned the best method is in person eye to eye with bearer of the news.

In the some of the cases where travel distance makes a major difference then the telephone will be acceptable.

In the cases of a promotion or termination, in person is the only acceptable delivery of the information. I am tempted to put "coming out" here as well but sometimes it is not practical due to the possible reactions of the recipients.

There are many other types of news that people get that fall under all three methods of delivery. Emily Post etiquette books describe the preferred methods for all of them but I sometimes take issue with those supposed "correct" methods so a person really has to judge for themselves what will be right and correct for each one.

Hope this helps/

Answer 3

I'd say it's ideal to get such news face to face and if that's not possible, then on the phone. If it's exciting news then I think it just adds to the excitement to actually HEAR it from someone rather than read it somewhere. If it's bad news then it's usually better to hear it from someone too. It's kind of impersonal to send someone an e-mail or a text message to tell them someone close to them died (it gives the impression people can't be bothered to call you or meet you to tell you that) and being fired like that is very lame too.

I can imagine thought that it's easier to write if cases where it's something the person is kind of scared of telling about, like someone coming out of the closet and unsure how the family will react, or a teenager who got pregnant and expects the family to be furious or something.

Answer 4

Well, if it's possible, i will choose a face-to-face model, since i think it's effective enough in knowing the direct response, like facial expressions, body language, etc. but if it's not possible, a phone call can be done. but in my opinion, this wouldn't be as effective as face-to-face, because we only can hear voice. i think email is inappropriate.

but those ways actually depend on how further you are with your receiver. if you are far enough, the face-to-face way can't be the effective way. a phone call or email can be considered as a good way.

Answer 5

i'd send a text message because I'm afraid of confrontation but face to face is really the best way to go. over the phone next most appropriate.

Answer 6

I would want to know with out beating around the bush. I hate when people him and haha and sputter when they need to tell me something. If u have something to say , say it and be done whether it be good news or bad news i want to know now....

Answer 7

Summon the courage and speak face to face. T4

Answer 8

Phone


thats what you want to hear, don't you?