Finally me and my guy-friend are bf & gf but we just started having sex 2 days ago but the only problem is that he wants to practice s&m on me during sex which is really scaring me.S&M means Sadism and Masochism.If anyone does'nt know what it means then basicaly it's torturing during sex, look it up.
well anyway i was just wondering has anyone tryed it? because i am so frickin scared to incase it hurts REALLLY BAD.is it that painfull? or should i just go along with it and see how it goes? he's really into which i never knew...weird so i probably don't have a choice...haha :[
2007-08-11 20:59:14 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think its a little weird that he already brought that up and you only had sex for the first time two days ago...
i would be a little worried because if you plan on staying with him for a long time and its something that he really likes, he will probably want that a lot, and if its not something that youre into at all then he is probably not right for you.
if you are not comfortable with it, dont feel like you HAVE to do it
2007-08-11 21:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off, you always have a choice. Secondly, if you should decide to pursue it, you need to have a safety word that is something off the wall that will get his attention. I dated a girl who was somewhat masochistic & liked some rougher stuff (hair pulling, biting, slapping, etc.) so much that she could orgasm from being spanked. However, if things got too rough, she would say the safety word, which for her was "pistachio" (like I said, it has to be weird & get the guy's attention). So, if he's willing to start slowly with you & obey your command when you tell him the safety word, you should be fine. Just have him start with lighter things you might be comfortable with, like spanking, & see how you like it. Also, maybe you should offer to turn the tables on him & be the sadist instead of the masochist? This way, it won't hurt you a bit.
On a side note, you MUST have a safety word if you do this, & make sure it's understood by both of you that this word means "stop". "No" & "stop" aren't always good safety words. The girl I dated had rape fantasies, & I had to understand with this particular girl, those words were not to be taken seriously, because part of the "game" for her was to resist me the entire time.
2007-08-11 21:13:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a choice--- you can always tell him you aren't interested. The degree of pain depends on what he does to you. Try it out, and if it's not for you, let him know. The two of you will either be able to work out some sort of compromise, or you will just have to find a partner with compatible tastes.
(Oh, and by the way.... this is a great example of why waiting until marriage to have sex can be a BAD idea.)
2007-08-11 21:07:12 · answer #3 · answered by Marc M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question about S&M is answered by who brought it into the relationship. If he introduced it, he practices it and he wants it then it is not S&M but deviant behavior. You don't understand S&M correctly. The passive person is the one who wants it the the one who controls it. There is alot of caring in S&M. The dominant must always be careful that the submissive is always taken care of and given the utmost respect. This doesn't sound like you are enjoying so get away. Don't walk away - - - RUN.
2007-08-11 22:01:54 · answer #4 · answered by green3ch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Tiffany,
You always have a choice. Belive in this and it will empower you.
Learn to respect your body. Only then will others respect it.
S& M is bad.... it reflects a perverted mind.... you don torture and give pain to the one you love Tiffany, you love, you relieve pain, you cuddle and you hug the one you love.
I f some one wants to tourture you that means he is not a well wisher. Leave him he will leave scars on your mind and body both. it will intensefy slowly, first it will be light then then will get worst... once you are initiated into it you will be so afraid the you wont be able to walk out of it. So say no the first time.
Be firm.
All the best
2007-08-11 21:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by Ash 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The pain is only meant to heighten the sexual pleasure, but it seriously doesn't work for some people. I think that you should try it, and if you don't like it, make him stop. If he's a good guy, then he'll understand, no matter how into it he is.
Give it a go though...you'll never know if you like it until you try it.
2007-08-11 21:05:15 · answer #6 · answered by find_your_nirvana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm down to try anything at least once but this is not something i would try. at least the roes and chains and wip type stuff not my kind of thing but there are some things you can do to have fun with it.you should enjoy sex and if that's how you enjoy it go for it otherwise it's your choice. some of it's fun though...
2007-08-11 21:13:47 · answer #7 · answered by b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, of course you a have a choice! You don't have to do something you don't want to. I've never had this kind of sex but it sure sounds scary!! I'm sure you'll meet someone normal...
2007-08-11 21:05:38 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
haha :[ ............ that doesn't look good....... Angelina Jolie is into S&M.. in case you didn't know.... what do you mean you don't have a choice? .. see this is why women get hurt all the time because they don't take charge of there problems its like they like being abused ......... ( haha :[ ) What the hell is that? thats sad........... ur basically getting raped by the expression ur giving us....
2007-08-11 21:07:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't have to be painful, that's optional :) It is however allot of fun, you should give it a try and you'll probably be surprised at how much you like it...
2007-08-11 21:04:00 · answer #10 · answered by I Heart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋