Dealing with Racist Sister In Law?

Question

How do i deal with racist SIL? This 21 year old woman tried to teach my 2 year old daughter to say "I'm a beaner" in from of me at the dinner table! I told her "Dyanna don't teach her those words! She refused to aknowledge that that was a racist word and just left! I am hispanic (of Spanish descent) married to white husband and daughter is half white/hispanic. I am staying with my in laws for one more month while husband is in Iraq.

i told her "Dyanna don't teach her those words!" "she said why not i don't mean anything by it. I told her that it is not what you mean because that is a word that is only used to hurt other people. She said that it wasn't a racism word and she ment something else by it. I said okay and held my nerves and said please explain what you mean when you say that word. She said i don't know what it means ask
______(friends name). i got so disgusted and said " no i said if you can't even tell me what a word meands than you shouldn't use it at all" I just needed someone to tell this crazyness to.

I asked her if she would enjoy being called a Nazi, redneck, white trash and she said no because i am not that and i said exactly and my daughter is not a beaner. It is a "rude joke" if that is what it is because it is only at mine and my daughters expense

I wish i could ignore but can't because of the effect it will have on daughter. cant be unlearned

Answer 1

Just consider the source and forgive, but stick to your commitment where the child is concerned.

Answer 2

I am very sorry that you have to endure such ignorance. I never understand why some people think they are so much superior than everyone else. I do not have a racist thought in my mind and it angers me when other people say unkind things to anyone. Stay away from people who cause you pain. Do not allow her to be around your daughter, if you can help it. I am sure your husband would be very hurt if he knew and I know that you can't upset him when he is away. Hopefully, you will be able to get out of there before too long. I would hope that your in-laws do not share the same views as their daughter. Be proud of who you are!

Answer 3

You handled it quite well....

I suggest talking to your husband about the situation when he returns and talk to your in-laws about it asap.. They may be able to interceed in explaining what the word means and how it's use is hurtful without causing more ruffled feathers..

Watch your daughter contact with this sister-in-law carefully as she may be teaching your child other things you do not approve of..

If your in-laws will not interceed wait until your husband returns and have him interceed.. Doing it yourself with your emotions so high (Understandably) could lead to a fight which should be avoided if possible..

You don't want to cause a family rift you simply want your SIL to stop using racist hateful words in the presence of your daughter and especially trying to teach your daughter those words..


Wait a few days to calm down and write your SIL a letter explain calmly what the word means and how it is racist and derogatory.. Wait a few more days, reread and edit the letter so you are sure what you send is what you mean...

Good Luck

Answer 4

I'm sorry she treats you this way. Some people aren't very smart, and they don't care who they hurt, including children. I'm not sure how to deal with her except just be forward with her, and tell her you don't like it, and that she is no better than you or anyone else. She has no business teaching your daughter hate language. Is this your husband's sister? You should tell him about this, if it doesn't stop, when he gets back. You have enough to worry about with him being in Iraq, let alone having to deal with a moron at home. I'll pray for you! God Bless

Answer 5

Wow. That woman needs a serious talking to. And you know what, I'd bet that God would pretend he didn't notice if you felt like slugging her one (when your daughter's not around, of course).

I suppose, though, that the mature way to handle this one would be to sit her down and tell her calmly, but firmly, that no further racist remarks will be tolerated either towards your daughter or yourself.

Bet you're counting down the days until your husband comes home.

Answer 6

I've never heard that expression before so I am not sure what it means. Is it a racist word for hispanic?....I would just tell my daughter that it is a mean word and not to use it. I am sorry you have to stay with her but one more month is not so long. Hang in there..You are blessed to have a 2 yr old daugher...give her a hug from me.. : )

Answer 7

Teach your daughter that your SIL is an nasty, mean spirited woman! My brother is a racist and though my son isn't of mixed race, I did NOT want my son hearing all that garbage from his "favorite uncle" (only uncle)...I don't associate with him any more but when I did, I continued to confront him (like you did but perhaps more forcefully) in front of my son and then spoke to my son about why what his uncle was saying was wrong.

Answer 8

So sorry for you

Racism dies hard but show her this:

Act 17:26 And God hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation;

We all came from the same two parents!

Answer 9

Lack of true education leads to such remarks.
Natural degradation of personal values makes one do or talk like this.

Realize ......She said this to hurt you.

Now How do you deal with it?
Firstly make sure TO YOURSELF that you are not inferior cos you aren't.

"""Get Immune yourself.first"""

She shud not be controlling YOUR feelings.

Then U Know what?
Don't deal with it. Such things are best not dealt with.

Cos You don't need certificates from Nitwits.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME make sure you make your daughter IMMUNE to this by actually telling her how evil works in different ways . One of them is the one that your SIL is practicing.

Answer 10

If you stir it , It want go away if you forgive and forget, then it will go away, You are getting the cause of Her effect. Pray for Her in moral ways but don't fear it...As long as you fear it you will get the effects from it. If you place it in the Lords hands and let Him Handel it She will get the effects of Her own cause...Good wisdom, of The words of OUR Lord....God bless learn to do this early in your life and you will suffer less...For what others cause..You Will reap what you sow the same thing as cause and effect...