2007-08-11 15:07:20 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
maybe he just needs a little time
2007-08-11 15:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there! Well, I think the first dilemma you need to figure out is why does he not want to adopt him? If it is something like he doesn't feel it is his child or responsibility, then that is not a good indicator of the type of father he might be to children the two of you have together. I am assuming he knew of this child before the wedding, so it is not something you just sprung on him. Would you really want to be with someone who did not see biological children the same as adopted children?
I suppose this all should have been brought up before the wedding, but you can't change that now. What is most important is the child and his right to not feel unwanted or unloved. It might be easy for the husband to do that now, but what about when a biological child is born? This is a very scary emotional situation for the child and you. I think you guys really need to sit down, have a heart to heart and figure this out.
2007-08-11 15:16:42 · answer #2 · answered by USMC_Wifey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, this is a subject that really should have been discussed prior to you and your husband marrying. However, what is done is done.
You really need to speak to your husband about why he doesn't want to adopt your son, and also talk to him about why you want him to adopt your son. Do you want him to adopt your son as a sign of commitment? Or in the event something should happen to you? (BTW, your husband could receive custody of your son, in that event, should he adopt him or not, and if he agrees that is what he would like). Does your son call him "Dad"? Do you plan on having more children together?
The three of you can still live happily together, even if you son isn't adopted by your new husband. I haven't adopted my stepson and have no plans to do so - - it has not been and never has been a bone of contention between me and my husband. Don't be upset with your hsuband until you talk to him about why this is important to you, and listen to what he has to say.
I think you and your husband need to find an answer that is acceptable and pleasing to both of you. It can be done. Don't give up yet.
Best of luck to you.
2007-08-12 04:26:36 · answer #3 · answered by Lori H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats honestly a very hard situation. If your husband married you and knew you had a son he obviously planned on being w/ u for the rest of his life so he should not have a problem with adopting this child. So you really need to ask him if he see's you two being together forever, because if he does than he should not have a problem with your son and if he does he should have thought about that before he married you because w/ you there is always going to be your son even if he is adopted
2007-08-11 15:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is really nothing you can do. It will be his choice to make. As long as he is good to your child is all that really matters. If he wanted to adopt him he would not be saying no. Adoption means he will be responsible for your son until he is 18 and the way things are these day who knows what will happen tomorrow? He may be thinking about that. Good luck.
2007-08-11 15:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by Fran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you all live under one roof w/o your hubby adopting your son? God forbid anything happens with your marriage, but he probably doesn't want financial ties to him if you two don't work out. You three can still be a happy family. It's not necessary that your son's adopted by him. Your hubby's still his papa.
2007-08-11 15:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by Daya81 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmmm, sounds like the angelina/maddox/billy bob thornton situation. my first question is: why did you marry a man who didn't want to be responsible for your children? it seems that should have been resolved prior to the marriage. a lot of step parents never make the step to adopt their stepchildren, so i don't see this as a big issue. if you and your new husband divorce, you won't have to worry about splitting custody.
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2007-08-11 15:12:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you discuss it prior to marriage? Were there signs of him not having an interest in your adopted child?
Men "always," give signs when they do not want something in their life.
2007-08-11 15:16:08 · answer #8 · answered by newyorkgal71 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may need to divorce your husband. How did you marry him without knowing he didn't accept your child? How can you build a life with a man who does not want to accept your child as his own?
This is cruel to your child.
2007-08-11 15:15:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you not talk about this before you got married? He does not have to adopt him, but that is something to really think about. How stable is your relationship?
2007-08-11 15:13:00 · answer #10 · answered by SAMMY 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's hard, but a lot of step-parents don't adopt their partner's child.
2007-08-11 15:13:09 · answer #11 · answered by cogecojelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋