My ADHD son recently joined the military and I am sensing that I am very glad he is gone and away from here. He was a constant problem throughout high school, he was in numerous fights, couldn't keep a job, and his teachers and vice principals were constantly calling. Is it wrong for me to feel happy that he is gone and also is it wrong for me to feel that I don't want to talk with him? I wrote him every day while he was in boot camp, but now I just don't want to bother.
2007-08-11 12:02:25 · 7 answers · asked by John B 7 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I know it is a relief to have the pressure off. It does not mean you do not love him. Some of those fights may be his way of separating from you, so letting him have his space is a kindness to you and him. Send him a few cards, so you can encourage him without having to talk, if you know what I mean. Let Hallmark do the talking.
2007-08-11 12:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by mliz55 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a diffucult ADHD child too. I know how you feel. It takes AAAlot of work for these kids to be brought up right. It is caused by a failure of neuro-connectors in the brain. It is a physical problem that takes alot out of you physically. You need some time to catch your breath and recover from the stress that has been placed on you raising your son. A time out is a good thing for parents,to get away from the drama that always seems to follow. However you still love your son, and just need a break. Remind yourself that it is not your son that wears you out but what he does. When you make that seperation you'll be better able to handle dealing with him, and actually be glad to hear from him. I talk to mine and we reason out how to best deal with him when he is overbearing. He still sees us and we are happy to see him, but when he is too much to handle we part ways for a while till we cool down and we are happy to see each other again. Remember we always set limits and that doesn't change because they grow up.
2007-08-11 19:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by f1mudvayne29 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! You're finally rid of him. Now you can have your sanity back and get on with your life. The long nightmare is over. I doubt if the military will put up with him very long. He'll be locked up before too long for disobeying orders and being out of control. It seems like ADHD is really possession by Satan. I know exactly what you went through and you deserve to feel happy. Best of luck to you!
2007-08-11 19:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by MissKathleen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation...ADHD son at Boot Camp.
It's perfectly normal to be glad a difficult person is out of your life! Don't feel badly about it.
Just write him occasionally, when you feel like it. Send a few CARE packages.
Now, take some extra-good care of yourself! You deserve it!!
2007-08-11 19:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by embroidery fan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, one thing is sure--the military will have made it plain whether he really WAS adhd, or just a rotten kid.
They will work that crap right OUT of him too, so don't give up on him just yet.
He may have never really been ADHD, and just needed some discipline--and the military DEFINITELY excels at that!
2007-08-11 19:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how your feeling.you have obviously have been through a hard time and are worn out.you have reached the end of your tether and are glad to get him out of hair.dont feel guilty.does he write to you often?just cut the letters and calls down a little.just reasure him that your there for him when he calls.
2007-08-11 19:16:35 · answer #6 · answered by anita p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say you're human. You've been through a lot. It doesn't mean you don't love him.
2007-08-11 19:23:14 · answer #7 · answered by xxted_strykerxx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋