Adoption? Or Abortion?

Question

I'm super stuck, I know its morally wrong to kill an unborn child. BUT on the other hand I have NO TIME to deal with being pregnant!! I know this is super selfish, I need some honest and NICE opinions. Please not harsh "Your a baby killer" comments.

Answer 1

Honestly sweetie, not many people "have time" to be pregnant, but it's just something you deal with. I got pregnant at the worst time possible...I herniated 2 disks in my back, and I was trying hard to lose weight before I tried to get pregnant, and it just happened....and now, I'm 22 weeks pregnant, and I'm recovering from back surgery because they ruptured and I was having neurological problems. People had the audacity to yell at me for having surgery while pregnant, but I had NO choice...I was going to be paralyzed if I didn't do it now.
The moral of the story is...you have sex, you get knocked up, you deal with it. Your baby doesn't deserve to be aborted because you chose to have unprotected sex. Give the baby up for adoption..allow it to have a chance at life even if you aren't the one that's going to raise it. It at least deserves that much from you.
If you are going to have an abortion (and I'm in NO way suggesting that), please, do it as soon as possible. Don't waste time going back and forth, but just know that YOU'RE the one that will have to live with that decision the rest of your life.

Answer 2

You were capable of conceiving so 9months (or less) will not kill you. I would deffintley chose adoption unless you have some strange medical disease where you cannot have kids or else something will happen to you that I have never heard of then do what your heart tells you to do. I am not going to judge you because there might be more to your story.Being pregnant doesn't consist of a lot of 'time'. So how can you not have time? No one really ever does. My 15 yr old neice gave her child up for adoption.She was only a freshman when she got pregnant and had it when she was a sophmore.She had time and never once considored having an abortion because she created it and she never had such a wonderful feeling so alive in her she told me.She had school to deal with,friends,more peer pressure, all kinds of things like that and had time.Everyone has time,I don't care if someone who is a workaholic is pregnant,they still have time.I don't care if someone is a firefighter they still have time. I don't care who anyone is everyone has time. And parenting isn't for everyone so ADOPTION would probably be best.Just think of it this way,what if your mom aborted you? Then you wouldn't even be here right now. I often have thought of that as well and I can't stand the feeling of not being wanted.There are so many people out there who are loving couples who have tried for yrs to have kids and can't. They would love to adopt!
Not only that but there are SO many risks of abortions that some abortion clinics won't always tell you.And believe me your not the only one out there who is stuck on the subject or abortion and adoption. Here is a link to a website about all the facts on abortions and the sideeffects such as Bladder Injury,Bowel Injury,Breast Cancer,Ectopic Pregnancy and there is so much more.

http://www.abortionfacts.com/literature/literature_928YC.asp

Which is better to remember, "I gave my baby life. And because I loved him/her,and I gave him into the arms of a loving couple" - or to remember, "I selfishly ended my baby's life?"

Good luck with whatever you chose!

=)

-Liz

Answer 3

It doesn't necessarily take a lot of time to BE pregnant. One of the greatest gifts you will ever give yourself or this baby is to stay pregnant. Go take a walk in the nursery of a hospital and look at those precious, innocent babies. That is what is growing inside of you. It is a baby, not a thing. The emotional affects on woment that abort their babies is never talked about. I have met several that have never gotten over it. On the other hand, there are open adoptions where you can choose the birth parents, you can know the child after it is born, get pictures, have contact with them. I have friends that adopted Isabelle two years ago. Goodness, I love that little girl. They have an open adoption and even travelled out-of-state to visit the birth mother last year. Isabelle is as happy as any child I know. She is loved by someone that could not have a child, being raised in a loving, stable home by two parents that adore her. They would love to adopt a brother or sister for Isabelle, if you'd like to talk. Either way, I would be happy to talk with you further. I have a good bit of counseling experience. Pray!

Answer 4

I think that you should try and think of your baby first here, instead of yourself. Yes, you will be sacrificing 9 months of your life, but that is not to say that those 9 months cannot be an experience you will relish for the rest of your life. The "easy" choice is abortion, however, I can tell you that more than likely, there will come a time in your adult life that you will have sorrow and regret for that decsion. Your baby deserves this life, that is why God placed that "life gift" in your belly. Whether or not you are the forever mother, you will always be the birth mother, and possibly allow a couple who wants so badly to parent, the ultimate gift. There are retreats that cater to single young mothers, where you stay, and receive counseling with other young pregnant women until you give birth. They help you select the adoptive couple, and most costs are covered by that organization, by the adoptive couple. Again, a hard decision either way, but I have the utmost admiration for the women who carry children, then place them in another couples arms because they cannot offer that child what they deserve, the ultimate sacrifice yes, but also, what a wonderful gift......

Answer 5

I gave up a child for adoption about 8 1/2 years ago. It is a very difficult thing to do, even under the best circumstances. However, it is the only thing I have ever done that gave me a sense of "being responsible, unselfish, and bringing joy to the adoptive family". I had a proper amount of support while going through all this. Will you?

I am not in favor of abortion, but I certainly can understand it. It is very scary being pregnant by accident and not sure what to do. Whether or not if you "have time" to be pregnant, it doesn't matter. This is something you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Ask yourself what you can live with.

By the way, my birthson is in my life and he is very excited that he's getting a little half brother (or sister) in a few months (course, HE'S decided it's going to be a brother!!). It was much easier to deal with the pain and properly greive with an open adoption, if you do decide to do that. My best advice is to pray on it.

Answer 6

Do you really know what they do in an abortion? First before you think about that go and investigate what they do to unborn child that gets aborted maybe it will make you think twice about abortion.. Why don't you look into adoption instead.. Yeah 9 months of having a belly and carrying around the baby but it would be better than having it aborted.. You really don't have to have do nothing different with pregnancy except go to Dr. visits and maybe no drinking or smoking.. Your life really doesn't change that much with having a baby in your belly.. Why don't you just have the baby and place it for adoption instead at least it would have a life and a happy one.. What would Jesus do? This is my opinion though you will do what you feel is right!!!!

Answer 7

Like just about everyone stated, there is never a really good time to be pregnant. I have been in your shoes, more than once. I had a beautiful daughter when I was 19 years old and placed her up for adoption. She is now 21, in college and I have a great relationship with her. She has known all of her life that she was adopted and that I did it because I was too young and knew that she desevered a lot more than what I could provide for her at the age of 19.

When I was 23 I got married and had 2 daughters. About a year after my youngest was born, I found out that my husband was cheating on me, then I decided to give him another chance, then found out I was pregnant! My marriage was still very rocky at the time and I felt as though I couldn't bring another child into the world knowing that my marriage was over, so I decided to abort my pregnancy. It was a hard decission to make, but it was the best thing for me to do at the time. My marriage ended shortly after this happened b/c he cheated again. This was nine years ago... Do I regret it? No... Do I still think about it? Occassionally, but I have a relationship with my oldest daughter that I placed up for adoption and my 15 and 11 year old daughters (and my 2 step-daughters) keep me very busy.

Do keep in mind that if you do decide to place the baby up for adoption, go through a private attorney, they'll take very good care of you. And try to place the baby with a couple that can't have kids, they will love the "gift" that you have given them.

Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 8

Look I was there before I was 19teen and had lot of plans ahead of me. I could not have an abortion even though that would have freed me up from the nice months of carrying the baby. But you know looking back those nine months were amazing and I grew up alot. My son was born in 1998 and I placed him in a very open adoption with loving parents who were ready to parent a child. I have since married and years later now hve my own family I know now I did the right thing I could not have been a great parent to him. Like yourself I stil was thinking about my dreams and plans. Best of luck believe in yourself first and think with your heart. These days if you want to go the adoption way you have control to pick and ask personal question dont let anyone tell you different.

Answer 9

well I felt the same way I got pregnant @ 22 with my bf of 6 years. I'm in school and on top of that my bf had a nervous breakdown. so now here I am in school-jobless, sick(pregnancy complications)-jobless, now I have a man with a problem who will probably always have problems now-- that's a mouth full to swallow. I thought about it, abortion and adoption, I ran the idea across my son's father and even though he was out of it I listened to him.(I was thinking more so adoption) My son's dad is still sick and has been for yrs, he can't really provide for his self let alone for us. Never the less, I'm a proud single mother. I'm glad I had my boy and I didn't kill him or give him away. Out of the whole conversation me and my ex had some years ago I still vividly remember him asking me, how you gonna carry someone inside you for 9 mos to give him away? that hard,don't you think? I never regretted it. I have a beautiful baby boy that I get to see live a grow up. My life has purpose now. I try to image a life without him. I can't not now. Everything happens for a reason. (I'm not being cliche)

Answer 10

Hello~

I have been in your shoes before. I know you are scared. Be careful of the comments you receive online, and in the end go with what feels right. Only you know what is right for you!

Many people say abortion is wrong. They resent people who have abortions however they do nothing to solve the problem. Many of the people who judge will never adopt these children, they just want to judge you.

I have helped many pregnant girls through a woman's organization I use to volunteer with. People would stand outside and protest having no clue what is going on in the lives of these women. Protesting the abortion of a homeless woman, addicted to crack and HIV+. However these people would never in a million years adopt a HIV+ crack addicted baby...

Just know, even though I don't know you, I support your decision. I have faith you and only you knows what is best.

Peace and love~

Answer 11

This really is a decision that only you can make. While I am personally against abortion, I am still pro-choice as I believe that it is a woman's right to decide what to do with her body and her unborn child. Yes, I am an adoptive mother and am extremely grateful for the gift that I received, but I also believe that you as the bio-Mother need to make the choice that is best for you - and no one should have a right to tell you what to do.

Saying that, I believe adoption can be a beautiful gift to a family who cannot have a child on their own. My husband and I have been trying for more than 7 1/2 years to conceive, with no luck. If we were not able to adopt our son, we would have gone childless - a feeling of loss that would have crippled our marriage.

Good luck to you - whatever route you travel.