How do I tell my always-in-denial parents that I suspect that I have skin cancer?

Question

I have a mole on my leg that is darker and bumpier than usual. It hasn't bled or itched, but if you look closely there is a tiny scab right in the middle of the mole. The edges look slightly faded and I am worried. The only problem I have is telling my parents that I suspect something is wrong; they are always busy and every time I try to open up to them about something they are just in denial and say things like "Don't worry about it" or "We already have enough to do..." I know for a fact that if I try to say something about this mole they will just ignore it and tell me that nothing is wrong...

How do I get them to listen to me and to save me from something potentially life threatening? Please help me...

P.S. I have been playing tennis for three years and I have spent a great deal of time in the bright hot sun...

Any advice is well appreciated, thank you.

I am 16 years old...

Answer 1

Non melanoma skin cancer is rare in people under 30 years of age. Unfortunately the same is not true for melanoma. While melanoma is not common in young women, the rates of melanoma for young women are increasing and even more important, when found in children and young women melanoma is often a much more aggressive disease than melanoma found in adults.

This does not mean you have melanoma but it means you need to make sure you don't because the risk is real. There have been at least two very young women with melanoma who have posted questions on YA cancer since I've been posting here.

Have your school nurse look at the mole but even if she says it is not a melanoma, if the lesion is as you describe, you need to show it to a dermatologist and soon. Tell your parents to get you an appointment ASAP or ask the school nurse or school counselor to ask your parents to send you to the Dr.

From now on wear strong sunscreen over this mole at all times.

good luck with all this

http://www.skincancer.org/melanoma/index.php

Answer 2

Areas like what you've described are not usually a worry for someone your age. BUT the mole is constantly irritated and exposed to sun for long periods,and there have been changes in the skin texture etc,I would find some info & photo's of skin cancers etc,download & show them. People die from skin cancers every day the worst is Melanoma.In the meantime keep that area covered with something thick enough to reduce the friction & exposure to the sun. Take care. SW RNP

Answer 3

My husband is 27 and he works outside all day every day. He had to have a mole on his ear frozen. I would say tell your parents anyway and ask them to make you a doctor appointment even if you tell them it's for something different just so you can ask about it. Most doctors will go ahead and freeze it off for you if you are worried about it. I would also make sure you are using a sunblock of at least SPF 50 and preferably one that protects against UVA and UVB rays. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

I assume you are a teenager, right? Skin cancer in anyone younger than 35 is VERY rare. Relax. Do exactly what Gawaine R. said-----take a picture of it. Take another one in 3 months. I seriously doubt you have skin cancer.
Of course, if the mole gets worse before the 3 months is up---tell your parents immediately and show them the dated picture. Hard to ignore proof.

Answer 5

ok I'm 24 and I just had a non cancerous mole removed that I worried about for years it had alot of the signs of melanoma... it was raised.. bumpy , seemed to have grown, the boarder was irregular... and it hurt!!!! I know the fear you must be feeling. you've gotten alot of good answers... I'd try some of them also I was thinking what if you fake an illness or pain just to get to the doctor... then bring it up... sneeky but it just might work... best of luck

Answer 6

Skin cancer in young people is fairly rare. Moles become ragged, grow rapidly, change color, and bleed. Take a photo of it and mark it off with ink to see if it grows past the mark. Take another photo in 3 months and compare the two. If there's no change, continue to monitor it in a like fashion. If it's stable after 3 years, you can relax.

Answer 7

If you go to a school, ask the school nurse's opinion. If the nurse is worried, that person can help convince your parents. If you're old enough to go to the doctor alone, schedule an appointment. The doctor may see you free, for just a minute, to check it. Or you could try a "free clinic", if your town has one.

Answer 8

Go to your school nurse and explain your concerns. She will look at it and if it looks irregular, she can write a note to your parents referring you to a doctor.

Or, maybe you can tell them you need a physical for tennis and that the coach wont let you play until you get it. I'm pretty sure routine physicals are required for school sports anyway.

Answer 9

Molds often bleed if we scratch them. Skin cancer is an asystemical not often raised skin leison. It oozes blood or liquid all the time when it is end stage. Call your DR for an appt and have him/her check it out and don't assume the worst

Answer 10

How old are you? Go to a dermatologist if you are an adult...if not try showing it to the school nurse and see what she says.