my boyfriend has been my best friend for 10 years, weve been dating for like 2ish months and i have to break up with him. im 16 and hes 18. i am a competitive figure skater and that is all i do lol. i recently broke my foot and i am still on a break from skating for 2 weeks. my coach is making me break up with him because he is a "distraction" he tries to work with my scheudual but i really only get to see him for like an hour on sundays and like 10 mins a day durring the school year. its really not fair to him but he says he loves me and hes happy with the time he does get to see me. he even watches me at practice but my coach says that he cant and i talked to him and hes said "its skating or me" i train from 4-7, do to school 7:30 till 12(i get to leave early so i can train, on the ice 12:30 - 5, then the gym 5-7 and back on the ice 7-9. so i train 11 and a 1/2 hours 6 days a week and on sundays i train a half day. how do i break up with him and not hurt him?
2007-08-11 09:49:20 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
durring the summer i train from 5-5 7 days a week so i get to see him a lot more in the summer, my coach says i have to break up with him if i cant make it work. do you have any idea how i can make it work? but durring the school year i have a 10 oclock cerfew and i have to get up a like 3:30 for practice, so durring school time i can never see him but he usually just sleeps over cause he lives next door. so now that he cant come to practices he usually comes to visit during my 30 min dinner break but it sucks that we never see each other. can i make it work?
he said "its skating or me" he knows skatings my life, do you think that he meant that oh what, cause i want both...how can i make this work?
2007-08-11 09:50:08 · update #1
my coach is a world champion dont insult her
2007-08-11 09:54:20 · update #2
my coach pretty much runs my life, her motto is "if you want to be the best, you have to act like your the best, and the best doenst question her coach" ive been on break for 2 weeks now and i dotn even know what to do with myself, im like going crazy.
2007-08-11 09:57:35 · update #3
While the answer seems simple I am sure it is very difficult, confusing, and frustrating for you. In everyone's life there are times when we have to make choices and many times those choices are very tough. As you get older and mature you will see this more and more so this is the first of many choices you will be making over the years. One way to help make choices is to take a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle and write all the good things about skating, and all the good things about your boyfriend. Then take another piece of paper and do the same thing only write down all of the negatives. After that start to weigh what you have written down and see where it leads you. I do have a couple of thoughts for you after reading your question. You said skating is your life, which is good, so if you were to leave it for a boyfriend you would be sad wonder what if for the rest of your life. Chances are you and this boyfriend will only be together a limited amount of time - teenage romances are just that for teenagers. Very, very few of them last into adulthood and beyond. It sounds like you are a good skater, have practiced, continue to do so, and have made sacrifices to get to the point where you are now. Your coach is right that you can not be a champion unless you put everything into it, especially in competitive skating any little distraction that might take away one tenth of a point can be the difference between a gold medal and no medal. If your life is skating then I say go for it , make the commitment to be the very best, continue to work even harder, bring back the Olympic Gold, and make us all very proud of you. After you reach the center podium at the Olympics you will have your choice of any man in the world, and you will still be a very young lady with unlimited choices ahead of you.
2007-08-11 10:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by K K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your boyfriend and I understand your coach. My question is does your boyfriend talk to you or anything like that during training? Anyhow, I think your boyfriend is completely understanding and loving. He sounds like a keeper. I wouldn't let anyone tell me what to do with my relationship though. That's personal and your coach shouldn't have that much control over you to say who you date. That's pretty ridiculous. Its up to you though. It all depends on what you feel for him. Do you love him enough to keep him? You shouldn't have to choose between skating and your boyfriend. I think your boyfriend just got fed up with your coach and I don't blame him. He probably felt that you were going to take your coach's word and let him control things with you two in my opinion. I would be pissed too if that were the case. Your relationship should stay between the two of you and your coach does not date you. However, if your coach has such a huge problem with him sitting in on your training then he can wait till afterwards to see you. Maybe, he can take you home from there or something.
2007-08-11 09:57:00 · answer #2 · answered by criesunjust 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you two have been friends for so long nothing should come in between that. If when you two are a couple you still make all your practices and training your coach should have no complaints, you are doing all have to do on that part. and since your boyfriend was fine with hardly ever seeing u till your coach started to act up maybe you should think finding a new one
2007-08-11 09:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by jbcutie101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obvioulsy you cant have both. You have to find out if skating really is your life. Find out if skating is what you want to continue to do in the future (professionally), or if its just a hobby. If you figure that skating wont be in your future then i'd say quit while you're ahead.
Personally I dont think a coach should decide if you should have a b/f or not either, but thats just me.
2007-08-11 09:55:37 · answer #4 · answered by Love Doctor 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Skating. You're young so you don't realize men come and go. Never sacrifice your passion or your dreams for a guy, usually when you do you regret it later. A man that makes you choose between him and your dream is not a man that truly has your best interest at heart. To breakup tell him that you care about him but skating is your passion and since he is unable to understand that, its best you go your separate ways.
2007-08-11 10:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by ctelly22 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you have to make that descion on your
own you really have to think that if you break up
with him make sure he doesnt go emo or anything
and ask yourself is that something you would regret ?
also you should pick whats best for the both of you.
you should also tell you coach how much he means
to you .
2007-08-11 09:54:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With a hectic schedule like that, I am surprised that you even had time for a boyfriend! If you are going to make it work, then you will have to give up one of your practices and I don't think that you would want to do that.
2007-08-11 09:54:34 · answer #7 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choose skating you should never let a man give you a choice between him or something because its only the beginning he will try to control you later so get rid or him and focus on what you love
2007-08-11 09:54:09 · answer #8 · answered by suga_lova2003 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
who cares about your coach? If you break up with him he's going to think the same thing! And he sounds like a nice guy, pretty loyal of him come to your practices. I guess you have to choose but your burning bridges either way!
2007-08-11 09:55:14 · answer #9 · answered by Mike T 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want it to work then it will work you have to want it too and then succeed at it even if you have only little time make it special and don't dwell on not having enough time just enjoy what time you have
2007-08-11 09:53:24 · answer #10 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋