Hi, I'm 29 and my husband and I found out I was pregnant about 4 months ago. When we told my family, we thought they'd all be elated and happy for us since we had been trying for about a year.
Well, we came to realize that my family didn't care at all. My mother gave me a hug but she really never wanted to dicuss it again. I have a sister (who's shadow I've always been in) who is a neurosurgeon and just recently became board certified...so my family cannot stop gushing about that, especially since my father is a neurosurgeon as well.
Now, I'm not a doctor, I'm just a 3rd grade teacher, but I'm very happy, and it just hurts that they can't see that. I thought maybe the feeling of excitment would kick in for my parents and other family members but I am 5 months now and no one seems to care.
I don't want to be pushy and have to make them be excited...I want it to come naturally for them, but I don't see that happening.
2007-08-11 06:39:38 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
My family and my husband's family were excited throughout the whole pregnancy - once he got here though it seems everyone lost interest. My mom (who promised to come stay with me for a week) decided to only spend about 6 hours with him and then went on vacation and back home 2 states away (she said that my sister needed her), and barely asks about him. My in-laws were pissed at the hospital because my husband wasn't spending enough time with them (hello! he was helping his wife through labor - a drug free, no interventions labor where I pushed for 9 hours!) They visited the baby 2x in his first 2 weeks and then we all got in a fight and they have not seen him in 6 weeks.
We decided that we can not afford to worry about them and what they are missing out on with this child. Our responsibility is to make sure this child is happy and loved, so we keep to ourselves.
It is hard, but your focus needs to be on your health and your child, and if you can't seem to deal with the disappointment or stress of it, talk to a professional.
2007-08-11 07:50:45 · answer #1 · answered by ShellyC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that must feel awful, but don't dwell on what others think or what YOU think they think. It is not worth one second of you losing an ounce of joy in your life. Plus you never know, they may come around once they meet their grandchild. But even if they never do, allow it to be the way it is and get on enjoying your family. I recommend the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It might just bring you peace about this issue or any other for that matter. Congratulations on your pregnancy and your upcoming bundle of joy! BTW, start eating 2 eggs a day. The choline will be very beneficial to baby's brain. Maybe HE/SHE will become a neurosurgeon! Also...I still remember the name of my 3rd grade teacher...Ms. Kaminicki. She was awesome! Don't downplay your importance. A third grade teacher can inspire greatness in a child. Can a neurosurgeon?
2007-08-11 07:00:03 · answer #2 · answered by Namaste 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, thank you for being a teacher. Teachers are far more vital to society than anyone cares to acknowledge.
Your pregnancy is great news for you and your partner. I can understand that you would hope your family to be as excited, and thrilled as you but, it doesn't appear that it is going to happen.
Instead, spend your time preparing for the bundle of joy that awaits you. Usually, parents come around close to or sometime after the child is born.
Good luck on your baby. Boy or girl?
2007-08-11 06:51:53 · answer #3 · answered by ken erestu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about that, thats kind of sad. I would see why you would be upset. They may just be waiting for the baby to get here, especially if its the first grandchild, they don't know what that can mean and it is awesome. I hope things will change for you once the baby comes. Some people are afraid to show a lot of emotions 'until' the baby is born and everything is okay.
2007-08-11 06:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Live YOUR life. Don't wait for them or anyone else to be happy for you guys. You have a husband and he's your friend. When the baby comes you will have your own family to concern yourself with. AND your not just a teacher, Your a Teacher and Educator. No one, especially your sister- ever got anywhere without teachers. Be proud, relyand trust your husband and yourself.
2007-08-11 06:55:56 · answer #5 · answered by ShortStuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people just cant see the joy in pregnancy. if you and your husband are happy thats all you need. i am happy for the both of you for having a baby is the best gift god could ever give someone and i am glad he has finally blessed you all with that. dont push it on them maybe one day they will come around and see that you all are happy with everything and they will be happy for you. right now just worry about you and your baby. you dont need a lot of stress and stressing over them being happy for you all is going to be hard on you and your baby. i wish you all the best and enjoy this time. good luck.
2007-08-11 08:27:32 · answer #6 · answered by amber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there are some underlying problems in your family. You have a husband who you love and who loves you, you are pregnant with your first child. Rejoice in those things. The most important thing you can do for yourself and YOUR family (your husband and child/children) is to make a happy life for yourself that doesn't require the presence of your parents and siblings. If they come into your life with happiness and joy, welcome them, but don't grieve that you don't rank high on their list. Their priorities are different from yours--not better or worse, just different. it can be very hard to separate yourself emotionally from people who don't want to be happy for YOUR happiness--if your happiness doesn't meet their standard.
2007-08-11 06:54:38 · answer #7 · answered by lfh1213 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They might be more excited when the baby is actually here.
In any case you can't change how they feel, just try to minimize how much it upsets you -particularly as labour get close. Things can really eat away at you when you are pregnant and you don't need that kind of stress.
2007-08-11 06:46:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to win their approval. Live your life to make you happy. You've been trying to get pregnant for a long time and now you finally are. You and your husband have a child and your life together to look forward to. Focus on that.
Start decorating the baby's room. Begin choosing names. Share your excitement with your friends, coworkers and his family. Let this be a time of great joy.
If your parents choose not to be a part of it, that's their loss.
2007-08-11 06:51:15 · answer #9 · answered by vita64 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wait til the baby comes if they care it will show up then tell them a man whos been around the world says teachers are the most inportant person in anyones life without teachers your sister would not be a neurosurgeon so be proud of you profession and of having a baby
2007-08-11 06:50:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋