Can sex and relationships ever be without anxiety and fear?

Question

In all seriousness, I believe I am so badly broken I will never be capable of an adult relationship which could involve sex, dating, and marriage. My anxiety has a life of its own and whenever I try to interact -- it goes off the scale. I have had panic attacks. To talk to women at work is doubly problematic, not only do I have to worry about rejection itself but also being charged with sexual harassment as the penultimate form of rejection.

Answer 1

dude, you need some counseling - I mean this in all sincerity - you may have to sit down with a therapist and work out your problems - good luck

Answer 2

I don't think there's anyone who can honestly say that they do not fear rejection. That fear will always be there, regardless, so take your time.

When you're ready to be rejected, ask someone out. The worst that could happen is they say no. But don't be discouraged. You just let it go and move on.

If dating at your work is allowed, don't be afraid to ask a coworker out. You will not be charged of sexual harrassment as long as you act accordingly. Be a gentleman, know that no means no.

It's okay to show a little shyness too but if you get panic attacks, try to calm yourself first before speaking to anyone. You don't want to scare her away now, do you? Start with being friends, build some trust and confidence.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I often wonder about this myself. Its like you cant seem to plainly express that you totally fancy another person, or any form of loving another person without this extreme tap dancing act. I love sex, dating, marriage, and loving friendships and I think that most of us need love desperately in our lives but it gets so darned complicated, and if you express it too soon, your considered crazy, unrealistic, or not in the right environment (work) then your harassing, if you press for acknowledgement of feelings, you can be accused of being a stalker or obsessive. I dont even know if communication helps hun once a mindset has been played out.

I dont think your broken, I think what you are experiencing is what MOST of us are going through with trying to compartmentalize feelings which just cant be dealt with in this fashion. How to fix anxiety, just keep talking about it, and if its outside of work (safer for expression) and you have an understanding person then express your anxious feelings, tell the darned woman your scared and anxious, I know that might not be what you want to project but I know that taking posession/ownership of a problem is the first thing you need to do in order to change it. Admit it first and foremost so that she is not thrown into defense by your anxiety. Women tend to handle the truth pretty well when a guy is admittedly afraid and honest about it. Both my LTR ex's were trusting enough to cry on my shoulder and tell me thier deepest fears which I cannot share on here, but we all have moments of fear. These expressions only deepen love and trust. They were never a bad thing in our relationships. Good luck and take care hun.-Rachel.

Answer 4

Your anxiety and fear is because you may feel you will get reject by her and also you think you won't be able to make a good performance in bed to get a jump in your love life and dating relationships you must make the first move ask a woman out if she accepts good if not go on to next woman you meet and ask her out a date sooner or later you will be successful when the right woman comes along for you keep trying

Answer 5

yes , life is too short for all your woes. My thought is you can not change the inevitable so just go with the flow and everyhting always works out for the best. Remeber when life throws lemons at you make lemonade. Also it is best to remeber love will find you, the more you look the more it hides, now you still have to try but just be yourself and you will see one day things will take on a whole new meaning, and remember you can't change what will happen so why worry about it.

Answer 6

It sounds like this anxiety is getting in the way of real life... that is a criteria for a psychological condition or disorder. The good thing is that this kind of thing is easily treatable! Have you tried going to a psychiatrist? You're having panic attacks and having problems at work. You really need to look for professional help... and NO, you won't be considered a moron or a stupid person for getting help. :)

Answer 7

I am single mum. I have been suffering for panic attacks for some 15 years now, though it was not until recently I understood what they were. They were progressively getting stronger and more frequent, stopping me from some days even leaving my house. I read this book and it all made perfect sense.

I am not saying I was not terrified of putting theory to action, I was more scared of that than the next attack! But I decided to view it as a game, one I had control of and could therefore not lose!

Answer 8

what you need to do is speak to woman elsewhere. the work place is not the place to meet women. you need to go to church or bowling movies anywhere restr. and stuff like that. you can be charged with sexual harassment there are many out there waiting for the right man so they can make money off them. i have seen i t many times. be careful

Answer 9

i'm an out bisexual and that i've got by no skill been untrue to any better half I certainly have ever had, i've got not got one-night-stands, i don't replace companions usually, i've got not got "dedication subjects"... None of it. it somewhat is an unsightly stereotype that, like each stereotypes, is a generalization that doesn't take persons under consideration and is in fact untrue. closer to the fact could be that closet circumstances have dedication subjects because of the fact of inner turmoil and identity subjects.

Answer 10

Zardoz, poor dear you are. But I think you need therapy more than a bunch of our answers here on Yahoo. No sex and relationships can ever be without anxiety and fear, but having said that, it is how you manage to control yourself over these things. Which sounds to me like you need therapy to control yourself and reassess your way of thinking. Good luck, Sir.