this cousin of mine; i dont know whether he likes me or not but he's into sexual contact with me.when i was a kid, he wud takes my hands n rub his penis with my fingers. he wud slip his hands thru my dress n squeeze my breasts . once , when i was changing clothes , he somehow got thru the back door & saw me naked. he stared at me like a hungry dog . i got scared & ran into the bathroom.
he got married for almost a year n has got a 11 month old son . i wanted 2 tell about him 2 my parents but the problem is my mom treats this cousin as a son.both of my parents love him a lot .my cousin addresses my parents like his own parents. if i tell my mom,she's not gonna believe it . i used 2 look at him as my brother but now things changed .in front of everyone ,my cousin is going 2 treat me like his own sister.after having his son ,he stopped abusing me in private .wat do u think -did he change?is he sorry 4 his deeds?I dont trust guys anymore.I dont think i wl b able to ve any relationship.
2007-08-11 01:43:15 · 20 answers · asked by winged d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
tell someone about what he did to you...
2007-08-18 22:45:24 · answer #1 · answered by upperhand 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm actually dating a man who was sexually abused as a child, and he is quite an "Alpha Male". I don't pity him or feel sorry for what happened to him, because it made him who he is today. I don't look at him any other way. All I've done is told him how sorry I am that he had to go through that, and I don't talk about it unless he wants to. I don't question or even think about some of the things he does as a direct link between his abuse and who he is today. I didn't know for months after we started dating, and it has now been 4 years and we have a child, so I guess it depends on each person individually on how they react, but if you truly care about someone then you don't let something like this get in the way.
2016-05-19 21:21:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What he's done is ugly and perverted. I'm sorry you had to endure such animalistic trash. You're probably right, your Mom may not believe you. So before you talk to anyone, I have an idea.
Do this:
Buy a small voice recorder, one that will pick up the tiniest of sounds. Put it in your purse, in a pocket, or somewhere discreet. Turn it on! Then go talk to your cousin, pretend to be concerned about the way he has treated you, and how it's bothered you all these years. With any luck, he'll talk about it, too, and anything he says will be proof that he actually did those things.
When you think you have enough evidence with him talking, then you can confront whoever you want with it, such as your Mom.
You might want to practice with the recorder first. Wear it, turn it on, and just start talking in an empty room, with no one around. Maybe turn on the TV, see if it picks up background noise. Then listen to it. By doing all this, you can work out the bugs, cuz if you mess up the first time, you may not get a second chance to talk to him about it, then you're back to square one.
Please don't think all guys are like this punk. True, many men are perverted, but just be smart about who to trust.
Good Luck, and Take Care.
2007-08-12 02:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by Sacrificial 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Report the bastard if u dont do it now then some1 else could end up bein just like u dont let this slip ur mind, but b really smart bout the way u go about it tell some1 who u know loves u more than anythin & will definatenly believe u b/c again if u dont & if he hasn't changed then by bein silent ur only a part of the problem who knows u might not have been the only 1 just remember u dont only have 2 go 2 family & who knows mayb he'll do it or is doin it 2 his child (even though a boy-still)
plz do somethin
& i am very sorry 4 wat u had 2 go thru
but there is still time to give that bastard
what he deserves
2007-08-11 01:52:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not even going to talk about reporting him. Do what you think is right in that regard. I am going to tell you that my cousin did the same thing to me. Several times. I know what you're going through and I can offer some comfort in telling you that not all men are scum (most are, but not all). :) Seek counseling. You will be able to have a normal loving relationship with a member of the opposite sex if you work out the issues and the pain that these events have caused you. Best of luck to you.
2007-08-18 18:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is unfortunate that something like this ever happened to you. It should not have. I wish you had had the courage to DEMAND that he cease the activity or told your parents about this low life. Surely, your parents would understand that what he did is most certainly possible and that your cousin had the oppportunity.
You will need to get over it, and never let it happen to you again. Stay in charge of yourself. There are some good guys. Hope you'll meet one soon enough.
2007-08-18 06:59:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, not all men r like that. ofcourse child abuse happens to 90% of children. but i think u r an adult now , go and tell ur mom. dont feel shy. Ur Mom will believe u. one of my friends had the same problem. shr tried fighting it alone. atlast she took her mom to the terrace and told rverything. Her mom understood and made necssry steps. Dont worry.
As 4 ur relationship thre is always someone 4 somebody, who will understand everythng. hope tht happens very soon to ya
2007-08-11 01:57:21 · answer #7 · answered by dude f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hearing this i felt he is learning his mistakes, wat he feels about a women was wrong. Let him feel free with u and make him understand that u were treating him like a brother, and look the changes in his behaviour. if he is changed his mind he would rather treat u like his sister/mother or if he behaves like same he was doing before he is trying to fool his wife and u too .. then u can tell to ur parents openly about his behaviour towards u...
2007-08-19 00:48:06 · answer #8 · answered by mahesh h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all i feel incredibly sorry for you. I think you should tell u parent that is closest to you. If you convince them that "if they love you they'll believe you" then they pobably will talk to ur cousin. If he has changed, then he will admit to harrasing you. But if he still denies it, he probably hasnt changed.
2007-08-11 01:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by CJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poor baby. It enrages me when these things happen and they happen so so so often. I'm really sorry this happend to you but baby you need to speak up. You may not have been the only one he did this to and there may be others that he is going to do this to. Maybe even his own kids. Once a pervert always a pervert. Speak up PLEASE!!!!! Not all men are scum bags. My prayers go out to you.
2007-08-18 21:03:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your parents what has happened to you.Your parents should believe you if you talk to them seriously and say you were not sure about being believed because how they felt about your cousin. My God help you in this situation.
2007-08-11 01:53:47 · answer #11 · answered by old crow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋