i know this question not all about dating but it pertin to singles and what im gonna do with my life an i just look for a little advice. here the situation, im live at home with my family oldes of seven child (im 18). its very rural part of philippines and very traditional. im not allow to date. the way of the oldes girl is to help mother with chores an raises the other child. there no money for me to go to college, but my brother is 16 an very smart. so im think about take a job sewing so i can help send him to college after he graduate hs. with my money an then my dad maoney may be he can go. then after college he can help the little ones with the tuition. if im go to work, i cant help my mom so much. an after my bro graduate it to late for me. so my only option in life really is get marry. but for now the choice is stay home or go to work in cloths factry. nether choice is to excite for me but if im go outside the house may be i can meet some one?
pls. no rude answer.
2007-08-11 00:50:35 · 29 answers · asked by happy_pinay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thx for all the very good answer! im truely not look for pity an it not really a 'bad situation'.. it jus my life and the way it is. im face with new decision an it confuse me. im not consider get marry only for money or put my self on marriage web site.
i cant move out or study in other country. you probably cant understanding how little money im talk about in factry! but every thing help!
honestly im like to stay in philippines, the culture is different but not wrong. theres some good to, lack of problem like they having in other country. but depend on what God decide for me.. thx for answer an prayer!
your friend,
ana
2007-08-11 01:22:28 · update #1
Be careful about wishing to meet someone...especially at your young age....even online. Well...there are cinderella stories where young girls meet their true love online...but there are perhaps more men out there that might take advantage of your situation.
Don't feel too sad about your situation...there are also other young women (and men) like you in the Philippines and even in other parts of the world, who have to "start early" in life...because their families need their support.
But you're only 18 and you still have a good life ahead of you.
Your family do have a good plan. I personally know a lady friend who also worked early in her life to help send brothers and sisters to college...and when the first one graduated and got a job, he also helped with the rest of the other brothers and sisters.
If you keep faith in God and believe that you and your family will succeed...you will succeed!
Advise: Instead of a college course, why don't your brother explore a two-year vocational course which is in demand overseas...that way, you only need to wait 2-3 years and afterwards he can help YOU got to school...and then you are in better position to help because you get a better job.
don't worry...even if it takes your brother 4-5 years for a full college course and then land a job...at that time, you are only 23 years old...very, very young still...
Keep thinking for the best and the best will happen to you.
2007-08-12 00:29:49 · answer #1 · answered by Yet D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what it's like in the Phillipines, but in the States, there are a lot of "non-traditional" students...meaning, a lot of college students aren't 18 anymore. We have people graduating from college when they're 30, 40, 50, 60, 70...so it is never too late for you...remember that.
The only thing you can do, is to make your choice based on how you feel and how things are today...remember, there is always a future...you will live a long life. So, if you think you will feel better to get out of the house, to meet someone special or even other women to have as friends, then it's a good idea. Besides, you might develop new work skills to help yourself later. Maybe if you help your brother now, maybe he can help you someday? It just seems to me that by working outside the home, there are many different possible ways you may benefit. If you stay home, it seems there aren't as many possibilties.
All-in-all, it doesn't sound like you want to stay home and help your mom. Life is mysterious for many of us, including you. You just need to take one step at a time and see where it leads you. And maybe you'll be surprised!
2007-08-11 01:03:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe that we all have choices no matter where we are located on Earth and what traditions are common. I find that if you break the tradition and get a job or go to school to better your life and your future you may lose the heart of your birth family but then again you will have independence and freedom.
This is really a matter for you to decide, you are now what is considered many places "of age" and you can earn a living for yourself, if you are too lazy and just want to marry some american so you will not have to work that is your decision and from your pic on here I see you would not have too hard a time finding a man that would want you.
Up to you babe, hope you make the right decision... Good luck
2007-08-11 00:57:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your culture is different from mine so it is hard to answer. Will your parents choose your husband or will you get to make the choice? Takeing a job to help pay for your brothers tuition is a very noble thing to do. I guess you have to make a decision based on what you want compared to what is best for your family. Do you want a family or would you also like to go to school and further your own knowledge? It is always hard for people from different cultural backgrounds to help?
Family is the most important thing in life. Your parents just want to protect you and maybe see that being young is a very dangerous thing when dateing. I think you should sit down with your parents and talk to them about your concerns and then try to make a decision. Good Luck
2007-08-11 01:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by Lord of Nothingness 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I totally understand. Im half filipino myself and my family have gone through the same thing. You are faced with lots of challenges but its nothing you cant handle coz you are a smart, strong girl and you will make it. I know people who have met a foreigner then get to go to a more developed country, find a job and send money back home. Then eventually help sponser the rest of the family over. This happended to my mum & all my aunties. They have been happily married for 27 years. Another option is to get a job in the bigger city. Its never to late to study or delaying it. You are still really young. Have faith in god coz he will help you through whatever struggles you have.
2007-08-11 01:08:43 · answer #5 · answered by Christine B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about the bad situation you are in. I hope everything gets better for you gradually! Yes.. go out, explore the world. Get a small job which allows you to get atleast some money into the house evn if it is a little amount. And who knows.. you could meet a lovely guy out there.. someone who loves you for who you are.. someone that doesn't care that you're not the richest person in the world. Dont worry... happiness is around the corner.. and it has your name on it.. Everything will get better for you soon enough =D .. just keep smiling. Don't loose hope! x
2007-08-11 00:56:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can study or your brother can study without taking much of your time to work by distance education. There are many institution like this. And if your brother is that smart, he can get a scholarship, DOST has one or he can choose any school where he can take an entrance test at the same time a qualifying exam for scholarship hopefuls.
2007-08-11 02:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by Lucas Vandross 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meeting someone?To marry?That isnt always the answer. Remember that with that comes other responsibilites, such as family duties. I am sorry that you have to stick to tradition, but maybe you can suggest that you work to put yourself through college and your brother can do the same for himself when he is older. It is not fair that you sacrifice yourself for the rest of the children because you did not ask to be born first. At least at that point you will both be in a situation where you can help with the rest of the children. It will be difficult to change your parent's mind, but try and be responsible and show them that you are smarter than that!
2007-08-11 00:58:17 · answer #8 · answered by vixxen 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry to hear you're in a really tough and sad situation. I think it is very noble of you to think about getting a job to help put you brother thru college. That's your best option. It's never too late to back to school. Maybe once he is out of college with a good job, he can help you thru college.
You should try to get married only because you're in love not for financial reasons. Getting married for financial reasons will lead to a very unhappy life for you .
Finally and ultimately, it is your parent's responsibility to raise your brothers and sisters not yours. Good luck!
2007-08-11 01:11:45 · answer #9 · answered by Beach Bum Wannabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe going to school in another country will provide brother with education and career that can increase family wealth.
Don't rush into marriage, because you could lose your focus on your goal if you are not prepared and not doing it for the real reason, not the wrong reason.
May God Bless you and your family and hope something good comes up for you guys.
2007-08-11 01:05:24 · answer #10 · answered by BIGMOMMA 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋