Potty training....? HELP!!?

Question

My 2 year old son is showing all the signs of being physically ready to come out of nappies. (Tells me before he goes, fetches clean nappies when he wants to be changed etc, can hold his wee if not wearing a nappy)
My problem is that I don't think he's mentally ready because even though I've tried every trick in the book to get him to 'go' in the toilet/potty - eg sticker chart, ping pong ball in the loo, novelty soap to wash hands - he is very reluctant. On the odd occasion that he's gone on the potty I've gone OTT with praise and any accidents he has are ignored and no attention is drawn to it. This morning he sat on the potty for 30 minutes then got up, started hopping about and fetched me a nappy because he needed to wee. I asked him if he would do it in the potty and he said he didn't want to so I left the nappy off in the hope that he would just give in and sit on the potty, but instead he weed on the floor and got upset about it. Should I leave potty training for a while?

Kate m - thanks for the advice but there is no way I'm going to force him to sit on the toilet/potty if he is getting upset about it. Its fruitless and will make him even more reluctant to go the next time. I'm not sure if you have children yourself but I can't say that bullying a child into something is a good way of dealing with things!

Answer 1

It sounds as if you are correct, he might not be mentally ready for the potty. Don't push him because it can have the reverse affect of what you want. My daughter started using the potty early BUT she refused to have a BM in the potty. She'd hold it for days even until she got a diaper. Eventually she did start having BM's in the potty but SHE had to do it in her own time.

The next time he asks for a diaper, ask him if he wants to go to the potty. If he says no then don't push it, wait a few weeks and try again. Of course when he does go potty, cheer and go over the top with compliments :)

Good luck!

Answer 2

Never force a child to sit on a potty or the toilet, you will just make them scared of it in th future.
Firstly I would buy him some big boy pants, in fact let him choose them, especially if he has a favourite character (my youngest loved cars, all his pants had cars on them). Then if he has an accident he will feel wet.
None of my children would ever sit on a potty and lets face it they are not the most comfortable of things, so they had a smaller seat fitted on to our toilet seat with a step. I would ask every 15-20 mins to see if they needed the toilet and used to leave the bathroom door open so they could see me use the toilet.
It is rare for a child to start school in nappies, so I would not get too upset about it, it WILL happen, but only when he is ready.
Good luck x

Answer 3

you could try a trick i used with my son... wait until he says he needs a wee and wants his nappy. then be doing something (anything will do!) and say you'll just be a minute. ask him to sit on the potty and then you'll be in with a nappy. by that time, he's done it in the potty. then you turn up with the nappy as promised, but have to put it away until next time. either that, or it could be the potty he doesn't like. can he use the big toilet and do the flush? sometimes, just using the same big toilet as mum or dad is enough. maybe his potty is in the wrong place or just different. and one last tip, invite a trained mate round to play, so your lad can copy.

Answer 4

As a mother of two kids, one who is 2 my advice would be wait until your child is at least 2 and a half. You will know when thay are ready, if you try and force the issue it will not happen. I believe if a child is ready you can crack it in a couple of days (you will always get the odd accident-just remember spare clothes when you go out). Dont try and rush the child as when it is an issue they retaliate and at 2 they have enough emotions to deal with. I find toilet training seats work better than potties, dont all toddlers like to be grown up like mummy & daddy. Enjoy them for what they are now and dont compare their progress with other children around you. They are all individuals and get there in the end, not necessarily in your time scale. Even if he is 3 it doesnt matter if potty training hasnt been sorted. Good luck and stay clam and positive.

Answer 5

My son is just over 2.5 and is not only potty trained but night trained. Here though, is my secret... I NEVER pushed learning to potty on him at all. Not once. I showed him where the toilet was, and got him sitting on it when he was okay with it. I started that when he was nearly 2.

He would come into the washroom when either I or his father were in there, and we told him what we were doing, etc. We would say things like "Mommy/Daddy is a big girl/boy, so I use the toilet" etc.

When he would use the toilet on his own we would tell him how happy we were etc. Once morning, he just got up and said he wanted to go to the toilet and off he went- that was quite literally the end of it- he refused his diapers and asked for underwear. He only had accidents when he was running for the toilet and within a week he was fully trained and night trained.

I truly believe it is because I just let him decide. I showed him what to do, but he decided when he was ready.

My son did some similar things to yours a couple months before he trained (he refused to go to the toilet, even when I knew he had to go, and would use the diaper). If I were you, I honestly wouldn't worry about it right now- he is actually still young for a boy, they usually train closer to three, three and a half. I used to teach 2 year olds, before I got pregnant and I can tell you, boys just take longer. But he will do it, and from the sounds of it, relatively soon.

My very best advise though- do not use any sort of training pants. Put him in underwear and let him feel wet... yes, it is a lot of work for you, but they need to understand. When they don't have the option of just peeing in the diaper, they will realize quickly that if they don't want to get wet, they need to go to the toilet. If you think he is just using the diaper because it is there, then take it off and put some underwear on him- let him get wet, and just lead him to the toilet and tell him he needs to go there, etc.

Sorry this is so long, but I hope I have helped... :)

Answer 6

my son was 2 and a half when was fully potty trained, it will take time and persistent is the main thing to do and don't get to upset if it don't work right away just give him lots of hug and praise him for trying every time he sits on the potty or toilet, even if it is for a few second. with my son i kept the nappy on him as he went to the toilet till he got use to sitting on it and then took it off when he was comfortable to take it off. you could also try the nappy that make him feel the wetness which would make him feel uncomfortable, and wanting to take it off himself or allow him to watch u or your partner when going to the toilet to let him see that this is what your meant to do. good luck and hope it all well, i know how u feel as i am now training my daughter.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

My son wasn't completely potty trained until he was over 4 years old! He just refused.

Sounds like your little guy has some fears about using the potty and is afraid. I think your going about it the right way with not forcing the issue and not making a big deal about accidents.

Are you using a normal toilet or a child's potty? Is he sitting or standing while peeing? My little guy was terrified of the toilet thinking he was going to fall in, we got him a little potty and he was happier. Also he wanted to pee like Daddy aka standing up.

Just keep gently reminding him about the big boy potty and how much easier it is to go potty and not have to change the diapers. (He can go back to playing faster, no clean up, etc).

Stay positive your not alone...a lot of children don't potty train until around 3.

Best of luck!

Answer 9

yeah there is no rush try again in a few weeks. just try and make him familliar with it . and if he does something in hes nappy put it in hes potty and show him and if he does it on the floor put in the potty. and after he has had a drink put him on the potty. and when he does do a wee or poo just praise as much as you can, and yes i know its hard but ignore the mistakes he makes over the floor. you can also just leave the nappy off during the day and put him on it as much as possible and eventually he will get the hang of it. hope all goes well. dnt worry he will egt there. x

Answer 10

Try just putting the nappies out of reach/out of sight (except for bedtime) and when he goes for one just say "no more nappies - big boy wee wee on toilet now!" keep saying it over and over and over and weather through the accidents. It took us 2mths from start to finish and he has finally now or for about the last 2mths or so got the hang of it and rarely has an accident.
He would also just go in his nappy (don't even go to the pull-ups except on car trips as his 'big boy undies') and then come tell me he went. I chucked them at the top of the cupboard and that was that. A few weeks of heaps of washing and wiping up the floor was worth it. After a while he started to tell me when he had to go, but couldn't hang on long enough, then gradually he held on longer and longer and now he can go 3-4 hrs without wetting. It wonderful!!! Took ages but so worth it, just get rid of the nappies where he can see them, and I found the best praise and reward for weeing/pooping in toilet was a huge high five and "good boy zaccy!!! yay zaccy" big boy toilet!!! no stickers/ lollies etc... just good old fashioned attention from mum.

good luck and perservere, in 3mths time you'll have forgotten all about it!!