Do you believe this is true about kids?

Question

Many people tell me that I shouldn't get on a kid's level & joke around with them because they'll think I'm their age & not have any resepct for me when it's time for me to discipline them. & they also say I shouldn't treat kids nice like buying them snacks & giving the money because they'll keep expecting it & then the day I tell them NO, they're gonna start hating me & not respecting me. & other kids' parents tell me that their kids have every right to disrespect me & treat me like they have authority over me because I should've never done anything nice for the kids in the first place. Are they telling me right or wrong? Are you SUPPOSED to be serious with a kid 24/7 & not have any humor? That's pretty boring. My sisters tell me about how my nieces & nephews have a right to disrespect me for wanting to spend time with them. But other people tell me that I MUST joke around with kids & do kiddie activities with them to help their learning & growing. I'm very confused on this subject.

Answer 1

That is not true. Of course you can joke around and play with them. They will still respect you. I do that all of the time (joke and get on their level).

It really is the parent's fault when their kids do not show respect for you. That is something they should have learned at home. It is not something you would be able to teach the kids in the time you spend with them.

I remember something an author wrote that really hit home with me. She was speaking of her late mother. It said, "what I loved most about my mother was that whatever age I was, she was the same age." I think that is a great tribute.

Many people prefer to make excuses for their children (and blame you) rather than take the time to teach the kids manners and respect.

Answer 2

Best to be yourself. If you are the type to joke and play with the kids so be it!! If the kids are taught manners and have morals and how they should respect their family.
Kids are not aliens. People tend to forget how they thought and felt as a kid.
Did you treat those that were nice to you like crap? Were you demanding to an aunt because she bought you ice cream and then brattily demanded it everytime.
No, I didn't think so... Treat kids how you would've like to have been treated.
Like a kid, but also as a person, like someone who matters and not someone who should be constantly under discipline. Who is constantly being formed and molded by the relative that tries to make sure that they are well behaved at all times.

If your kids or neices/nephews feel they can be reached on THEIR level they will have great love and respect for you, and you know what you might actually have a very special bond with them that not even their parents (if u being teh aunt in this case) can touch.
They will feel that they can come to you, because you understand them. The opposite will not be the case.

Answer 3

The problem with kids nowadays is that most dont respect adults. Certainly we don't want our children to be
disrespectful, but we dont think they should have respect for certain adults, like abusers, molesters etc. You don't fall in that catergory and you deserve respect especially since you are being kind. If you show a child respect, you are teaching them to respect you. They learn from what is modeled for them. You are doing just that. Your behavior should not be disrespected. =)

Answer 4

You should always respect how another parent says to treat their child...unless ya know, it's child abuse or something. Personally, how can your child relate to you if you don't get on their level? I have 3 children myself, they need time where you become silly and roll around on the ground with them, draw pictures and have fun. Spoiling is what teaches kids to disrespect you. Always saying "yes" and never setting boundaries creates a disrespectful child, not playing with them and being silly. Kids don't need seriousness, they need parents. Rules, discipline, playtime. And NO child has any right to disrespect you. Their parents should step in when they start acting up, not blame you. They are the parents.

Answer 5

I think the best thing you can spend on any child is TIME. I laugh and joke around with my kids all they time (they are 17, 15 and 10-months-old.) I can understand not ALWAYS being their "friend" because you do have to discipline them but you can discipline in a friendly way. Maybe your sisters are jealous you have a better relationship with their kids than they do or something.

Answer 6

i have 3 kids 7 10 and 12 we have so much fun together!! we always laugh and have inside jokes. there is nothing wrong with treating them to snacks or giving them money as long as you set a good example for them, they will always respect you i love it when my sister picks them up to treat my babies good! as far as your sisters telling you that your nieces and nephews have the right to disrespect you for wanting to spend time with them WRONG!!!! how can any parent allow their kids treat an adult that way and their aunt at that!! sounds to me that they are jealous of the time you spend with them and the feelings the kids have for the cool aunt

Answer 7

You really have to do both with kids. I did fun things with my kids but they also knew when I was serious. They respected me for both. I was never their friend - only a mother who loved and cared about them a lot.

Answer 8

No I don't believe that. You need to be humorous, and serious. It's OK to laugh and play, but when they push the line with you, you have to lay down the law, and swift!

Answer 9

have fun but be the adult and never bend rules / stand ur ground for respect and NEVER make exceptions so they think ur cool.