Should I place my unborn baby up for adoption?

Question

I am 5 months pregnant and don't know if I can afford to keep this baby boy. I have 4 other kids and 2 of them are 14 months old twins. One of the twins is disable and needs a lot of attention. I am single and sruggling to make ends meet for my family. I don't know what is best for my family as of right now. Can I really afford to add another child to this broken home?

Answer 1

Hard to say.. having two eighteen-month-olds, one of which is disabled, and a newborn is gunna be hard. Especially if your other children are under 10.

But giving up your child might be something you regret. Being raised poor, but surrounded by family and love is not too bad. It'll take a lot of dedication on your end, but I think you could make it work.

If you can get more welfare and even get involved with a church. My local churches usually give away free food once a week and free gift certificates to the supermarket once a month. And if you stop by multiply churches, you can get even more food from here and there. They helped out a lot growing up... donating even diapers or baby formula.

You can try to find an extra job online (affiliate programs/advertising) or a at-home side job so you can watch the kids and make some more work.

There might be single parent groups out there to also offer support.

Remember, if you have love and family, then the home is NOT broken.

If you seriously cannot raise another child, then i'm sure he'll do great with another family. Don't feel guilty. Maybe even find a family who could stay in contact with you (if possible) so that your son never has to go on a quest searching for his real mommy and siblings.

Good luck.. its a tough choice and remember there IS NO WRONG choice.

Answer 2

That is not a question that anyone here can answer for you. However, let me tell you a little story.

The story starts with two people that meet in college and fall in love. They eventually get married and decide to start a family. Unfortunately, they are unable to conceive. They try artificial insemination and IVF, and they don't work either.

After thinking long and hard about it, the couple decide to try to adopt. They put their names on the list with a placement agency, and they are told that it can take up to three years to find a child. The couple realizes that this is the only way they are going to have their family, so they jump in with both feet and they contact an adoption attorney. They are told that it usually takes about a year.

The couple prepares their profile, gets the home study, and attends the classes. Then they wait.

But...they don't wait for long! They get a call from the attorney. The birth mother has chosen them, and she is due in a couple of days.

Oh my! Says the man, we don't even have a nursery set up yet! Oh my! Says the woman, I don't have time for a shower!

The couple flies all the way across the country to meet with their new baby, and they get to take the baby home!

In the six days between the last two paragraphs, the sparte bedroom became the nursery, complete with paint and a new carpet! The registry was created for all of the gifts. And the shower was planned for a week after the couple comes back home with their new addition.

The reason I am telling you this is because none of this happiness would be possible without a birth mother that chose the couple. A birth mother that loved her baby so much that she decided that she couldn't give everything that was needed for a happy childhood.

I am that man, and my wife is that woman. There is a woman out there that has given us something that all of the money in the world couldn't give us. She has made all of our dreams come true.

You hear every day about "heroes" that do unselfish things. That birth mother is truly a hero. She gave up her child, so that we could have a child. We don't question her motives. In these days where abortions are easy to get, this woman carried a child for nine months.

Answer 3

I think adoption is a very unselfish thing to do. Although it is a decision that you need to be totally sure you want to do an that you will go thru with it. Not at the end when a couple is waiting for the baby do you decide that you changed your mind. That is a horridable thing to do to someone. I think everyone else has really good points with getting Gov. help. There are so many out there that get the gov help that are just to lazy to do anything else you do not seem to be that way. You have a full time job taking care of your 4 children. I have a disabled child also an it is a very demanding job and I only have the one child. There are agencys & churches that will help with disabled children and with your other children. I think that God only gives you what you can handle. If you do decide to go thru with the adoption you can always make it an open adoption where you will have contact with the child.
But this is a question you will need to dig deep inside to find the right answer for you and your family. The other thing I would consider is having a hystertomy or some other type of permenate birth control.

Answer 4

Thats the best thing you can do. I was born in honduras and the fifth child of my birth mom. Knowing she couldn't take care of me, she put me up for adoption at 3 months old. I was adopted by two lawyers from Brooklyn and New Jersey. They but me through the best private school and now i am in college as a history major. I will become a lawyer and take over their business. As i look back, i am so thankful that I was put up for adoption. I could have been some kid who was starving living in a hut with a dirt floor and worrying about the next meal. Then, trying to find different jobs to keep my family fed with no direction in life and possibilty of breaking out of the system. I have every option available to me now. I am not a mother and i will never know what its like carry a child for 9 months. But i do know, what my birth mother did was the most unselfish thing any human being could ever do. Do your unborn child a favor and find a good home where they value education and have good jobs. Dont try to get in contact with your child and wait till he is ready. He may be successful and want to help you. My mom also happens to be an adoption attorney because of me. She say the worst thing is when a birth mother changes her mind and keeps the child. See, you have three months after you sign papers to change your mind, if you do, it will crush the adoptive parents. Just make sure their a great family with a nice home. No, i don't think you should make you child grow up in a broken home, its selfish.

Answer 5

From what you say as hard as it may be that might be the best choice not just for this baby but for the 4 children you already have. I know having a special needs child can sometimes be exhausting as they do require more attention. Not to mentioned you said with 4 kids your struggling to make it, add another child to that and you’d be struggling even more.

Perhaps you can sit down with your bank and go over your budget. At the most I’d advice you talk to a Counselor and if you’re religious pray about it.

You could even think of seeing if a family member would be willing to adopt the baby, or you could always do an open or semi open adoption. You still have a few months to think about it you cant sign adoption papers till after the baby is born.

Answer 6

If you truly believe that you cannot afford this baby or give him the attention a newborn needs you would be better off letting someone adopt them. You could always do an open adoption so you could pick the parents yourself, get updates and pictures, etc. Adoption is not like it was years ago when the mom had no way of knowing who adopted their child. I would also recommend getting on some birth control after you have this child so you don't get pregnant again until you are able to take care of another baby. You would make someone that is not able to have children of their own extremely happy.

Answer 7

Well, I certainly cannot tell you what you SHOULD do, except to say that you should do what YOU feel is best for your unborn and for your family. I have placed a child for adoption, and it was only in his best interest that I did so. I had just left an abusive relationship and was living with a friend when I found out I was pregnant with my ex-boyfriend's (yes, the abuser's) baby. My situation was very unstable, and since I didn't have very many options at the time, I placed him for adoption. And I do not regret it one bit. It was hard at first, but I rest easier knowing that he is in good hands, with a family who loves him as much as I do and is able to care for him better than I could at the time.

But regardless of what I or anyone else in here says, do what YOU feel is right. Call some agencies, or search for some online and research your options. Then go from there.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Im sorry For You Having 2 have 2 cometo this conclusion , no onee should have 2 do it But if it makes the baby happier then yes.And itll make your family more stronger
And i wouldnt call it a broken home,its just high mantience But you dont want 2 take 2 much on otherwise stress wil kick in or depression x i would go see a docor and ask for conciling or if not make a List one saying all the advanges and one of all the disavanges.If you have 2 come2 the dision of putting the baby up for adoption then just think your making another family happy which maby cant have children. Especially if you have 4 kids and ones disabled thats a lot of work! my Mum is stressed out enuff With just me and my twin .
Good luck and wishes on what you decide 2 do But ino Yull do wutevers Right ! x

ANWER MY QUESTION PLZ ::
http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Amn_T9wJjwqC3z_cwy2zdbH44gt.?qid=20070811110637AAaz1oN

MANY THANKS X
JESS X

Answer 9

Adoption is an amazing gift. Alot of people say "your pregnant because God want you to have this child" but could it be that your pregnant because this child is meant to bless another couple, who cannot conceive a child on there own? And logically, considering your circumstances this child may be better of with a family who is able to provide for it in ways you may not. Open adoption is VERY common now. If you choose open adoption you will still be able to have contact with the child. This is a personal decision though, and in the end only YOU know whats best. Good Luck!

Answer 10

This is a decade too late for your circumstances but hopefully someone else on here will read this if they are in a similar situation. KEEP YOUR BABY. It is 90% of the time the right thing to do. Have this baby and then get your tubes tied. Money isn't everything and just because your child goes to a wealthier family doesn't mean that he/she will have a better life. You don't "owe" anyone else a baby. Many people are infertile due to bad lifestyle choices like an STD that are them infertile, steroid use, or because they pursued selfish interests and waited too long to have children. Even if none of the above circumstances are true and they are infertile through no fault of their own, no one is "owed" a baby. If some stranger out there has kidney failure do I "owe" them a kidney? Nope. If you would not give someone a kidney, why would you give them your BABY?!