My dad is an alcoholic is there anyone else out there going through the same thing and how do I cope?

Question

I have realized that nothing I say can make him stop. He has to want to change. I was wondering if anyone else out there is going through the same thing. and I was wondering how you cope with it. I'm 16 and have decided I will never drink because I see how it can ruin a family. I dont think any of my friends know and I want it that way but it would also be nice to be able to talk to someone about it. Is there like a free hotline or something?

Answer 1

I'm sorry for you... it hurts.... find an Alanon meeting and you'll find lots of people in the same situation... it's nice to be with others who understand and to see that you are not alone. It's not your fault, it's not your shame. *hug*

Answer 2

I feel for you. I remember going through what you are going through. I am now 35. Alanon is supposed to be wonderful. I never went because I was too private about it, but I understand the meeting are private. I read the Alanon literature. You have just taken a big step by realizing nothing you can do will make him stop. That is very painful. I used to think if he really loved me he would stop and it made me feel like less of a person when he did not. Now I have realized his alcoholism is a sickness. He choses not to manage it. This has really helped. Take care of your feelings about this now so you do not unconsciously let it effect the choices you make, such as chosing a mate or losing self-esteem. If you gain insight into who you are as a result of being around an alcoholic, it will make you a much stronger and wiser person. Good luck, many prayers.

Answer 3

This is a very hard thing to go through. I went through it myself my whole life. My dad finally had so many DUI's that they forced him to go to AA. My dad was the kind of alcoholic that was a binge drinker. He didn't drink every night and he always had a 70hr a week job. He would drink on the weekends to the point of extreme. He could drink a 24 pk of beer by himself. He would come home screaming and yelling, arrested for DUI's and misorderly conduct. A few times he even resisted arrest and was beaten down by the cops. As a result, my relationship with my father has always been weird and uncomfortable. He finally went to AA when I was about 16. He hasn't had anything to drink since then, I think. Educate yourself on the AA process. Talk to your dad and tell him how his alcholism affects you. Don't blame yourself for this, he has to fix this. Just separate yourself from him right now. Your right how it can ruin a family. Just recently my dad got a new skanky girlfriend, WHILE he was still married to my mom!!!! 23 years of marriage down the drain. Its a nasty divorce and my mom says its payback time for all the years she spent with an alcoholic. You need to stage an intervention and let him know exactly what this is doing to you and your family. He may not want to hear it, but he has to.

Answer 4

Ok. My father is a major alcoholic.(especially when i was 16; I'm24 now.) He was EXTREMELY verbally abusive. He would say things like" Why don't you just kill your self already, and do us a favor" But I still loved him. Both my parents are alcoholics (My mom is in recovery) When he wasn't drunk, he was a great person. I'm glad you have decided not drink. Unfortunately I didn't take that route, and now i'm an alcoholic and i did ruin my life. I don't know how aggressive your dad is when he's drunk( My dad once chased me around the house with an axe) But try to ignore him or just get away from him.
You could join a group through A.A, but it for the family's of alcoholics. I'm sure everyone will tell you that, but the bottom line is this: don't succomb to his misery. Excell in your life and don't follow in his footsteps.

Answer 5

Now is a time for you to show strength and be pro active. Check out these sights to assist you in the beginning of a healing process. Understand this isn't somthing that happens over night, but can take months of steps to show progress for a solution with your dad. Your patience will be tested.

http://www.kidshealth.org/college/drug_alcohol/alcohol/coping_alcoholic.html

http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Children+of+Alcoholics§ion=Facts+for+Families

http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=4420

Check out all three sites to get an insight on the right path of recovery.

Just remember that your father is setting an example to you of what not to do.

Answer 6

hey there....well, my dad isnt alcoholic, but he has high stress levels that cause him to be abusive emotionally and physically....its a hard thing to go through. i suggest being very close to your friends. without a family that can stick together u feel kinda empty and therefore friendships need to make up for it. join a group that has others dealing with the same problems. go to a counseller. join clubs and sports and organizations when school starts up. get involved. and just be happy. remember that this isnt permanent. in a couple of years you can move on and live ur own life.

Answer 7

i'm very sorry for this subject you're having which includes your dad. i comprehend what it somewhat is like with the aid of fact my dad became right into a under the impact of alcohol additionally. He would beat my brother fairly usually or maybe however he under no circumstances beat me, he did yell terrible names approximately me. i became into purely a baby and could be upstairs in my mattress and that i ought to take heed to him yelling obscene names directed in the direction of me. It broke my coronary heart and that i had a great concern of the darkish for some years. i became into so afraid he would come upstairs and beat me. Oddly adequate I enjoyed my dad very lots and that i thank God that I even have forgiven him. even though it took Jesus to help with a lot of my insecurities. save praying on your dad, under no circumstances supply up sweetie. save your head on straight away do no longer circulate to smash. God Bless you and that i'll wish for you this night. Oh, and purely consult with God such as you will a appropriate pal. God knows your struggles and he will supply you understanding and risk-free practices, purely ask.

Answer 8

i go though the same thing with my stepfather who drinks up all the money and it been going on since i was 2 and I'm 17 now so for the last 15 years I've gone with out having a drink for about a week every month so i know what you are go though its rough

Answer 9

Hi there,
I agree that you should contact Al Anon. It's supposed to be great for family and friends of alcoholics. You should just be able to google it and find phone numbers for the local chapter.
It sounds like you're making some good observations and decisions for yourself, so congrats on that, and they should definitely be able to give you great advice.

Answer 10

Try your best to help even if you have tried everything, you can always say that you always tried to help him. My dad is the same way but he is also a drug addict. I always tried to help him but he just would not stop but I still think there is hope... Dont give up on him. hopefully your efforts will pay off soon.

Answer 11

Contact AA and ask about AlaTeen the program for children of alcoholics to help them cope. I have a friend who volunteers now because they helped her so much deal with drunk in her family.
http://www.al-anonfamilygroups.org/