4 year old sassy and rude only when mom is around?

Question

When I babysit my 4 year old niece she never acts sassy or backtalks me, but as soon as her mom comes to pick her up she begins being very rude and sassy to both me and her mother. Is this normal? If so, why do some children do this?

Answer 1

I watch a 7 year old. Last night his dad came to pick him up and the kids weren't finished eating dinner so he came in to wait. The kid goes NUTS racing around the house, jumping on my furniture, opening my cabinets and fridge. He KNOWS he's not allowed to do these things in my home. I firmly told him to remember the rules and to settle down. He didn't listen. So his DAD grabbed him firmly by the arms and in no uncertain terms told him what kind of things would be happening to his rear end if he didn't knock it off. She's challenging the authority here. She wants to see who's rules she has to follow when you're both there. Who's going to enforce the rules? What will they let me get away with? Are they watching? She's showing off! I wouldn't say her mother is a bad parent-- a lot of kids do this. Make sure when mom comes to get her she backs up your rules. She's in your home don't be scared to remind her of how she should speak to people in YOUR HOME just because mom is watching. Maaakkke suuure that mom backs you up if need be. Eventually she'll see that your rules don't fly out the window when mom walks in the door. It's completely normal-- she's asserting her independence and testing her boundaries, all part of a healthy developing child. Good Luck!

Answer 2

This is very common. She's testing the water's with her mother. Most kids are very well behaved for people that aren't around them as often as mom and dad, but at home it could be a completely different story. I know the first time I brought my 2 son's to daycare I was terrified that they would be on their WORST behavior, to my surprise, when I picked them up my daycare provider was raving about how polite and well behaved they were, and she still continues to have this luck, I on the other hand don't always get that lucky! What your niece is doing is trying to see how far she can go with her mother (and possibly you) before mom snaps. Why you may ask, I don't know the best answer to that. I think, children, just like adults, need to know how far they can go with something before it breaks (example, you probably stick your feet in the swimming pool before you jump in) that is very similar to what she is doing. I hope that helped answer your question. Your best bet (and your sister or sister in law) is to stick to your grounds and stay consistent between the two of you with what you are allowing her to do and not allowing her to do etc... good luck to the both of you!

Answer 3

I have been a toddler teacher for 3 years now, and am very good friends with several preschool teachers... children, for some reason, are always better for other people than they are for their parents. Children are most comfortable with the people that they are closest to, so that is part of it. I used to have a girl in my classroom who was the most well-behaved child ever... I never had to say no to her or talk to her about misbehaving, but the minute her mom walked in the door she was a screaming, whining mess!! It's just kids testing their parents... my daughter is such a struggle at home and she is an agreeable angel at daycare. Kids know they can get away with more with their parents than with caregivers, so they give them a hard time.

Answer 4

Kids are amazing and smart, and they especially 'have their parents' number'! They also test boundaries constantly, especially with those whom they love and trust - and believe it or not, your niece being sassy to her mom, though not acceptable, does mean that she trusts her mom (and you) not to react violently or abusively. I bet she never acts this way with strangers (she wouldn't know how a stranger would react!). This sassing and backtalking is totally normal - though, again, not acceptable - and it's up to her mom and you to communicate that. Let her know you're not happy with that kind of behavior - model the kind of talking that you expect from her (i.e. make sure not to do any sassing or backtalking yourself in her presence), and then she'll know that the sassing and backtalking is one boundary that she can't cross with you. Hopefully her mother is modeling acceptable behavior as well, and will let her daughter know that her behavior is unacceptable.

Answer 5

i understand i could get some thumbs down for this yet i could tell her whilst she starts that rubbish, "seem mom would not comprehend you once you talk back, roll eyes, and so on. once you are able to confer with me in the applicable way then i'm going to pay attention" and then walk away. do no longer enable her stick to you conversing. Make her sit down if she tries. i did no longer placed up with crap whilst my boys have been youthful, and its stable you're dealing with it now, through fact I artwork with 3 and four year olds and that i see how dad and mom enable it get uncontrolled.

Answer 6

She may be craving attention--upset because your attention is about to shift--upset because Mom is paying attention to you.

People only treat you the way you allow them to. Mom needs to put an end to that right now. Lack of respect for parents is a great beginning for the younger generation's problems.

TX Mom
Not a psychologist

Answer 7

My best friends children are like that too and she has 4!!! It is awful as soon as she comes in they turn into BRATS!!! I think its becuse they want attention and are so use to getting the negative kind (my friend is really flaky and doesn't really pay that much attention to her kids) that it works for them. Tell you sis that she needs to nip it in the bud NOW the sooner the better.

Answer 8

because the mom thinks its cute and just a phase to grow out of...she doesn't realize that the child is being rude...you can gently but firmly tell the child even when mom is there that your not happy with how she speaks to you and let her know if she is going to treat you like that you will go home.

Answer 9

This is prolly cuz he knows he can get away with this behavior with him mom. His mom is prolly really easy on him.. and lets him get away with this such a thing.

She needsto put a stop to it.. or he will just continue doing it.
Do some positive re-inforcement.. or something.

HTH's.
Good luck!!!

Answer 10

yes...exactly like my little brother....This is just because some children act differently around their parents. They are more used to their parents and feel they can act differently around them. I have no advice on this, but yes, this is perfectly normal.