Why are parents creating an "Entitlement Generation" of spoiled self-indulged brats?

Question

Hi--this question goes only TO PEOPLE PAST AGE 30..
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE NEW "ENTITLEMENT GENERATION" ?(term for teens & youth of today)

I have many teenage realatives--and it sickens me to see all these young teenagers lavished by their parents with brand new cars, i-pods, cell phones, and everything else. Parents foot the bill for everything, and these kids act like money grows on trees.

Why do parents today think that "Parenting" means being a "friend" and giving kids all these material things they havent worked 1 day for? Kids probably think they should be "paid" just for getting dressed in the morning.
Thats not how the real world is!

Whats the deal? DISCUSS

Answer 1

I agree with you so much it almost hurts!

Watching my nieces and nephews, my ex-fiance's kids, friend's kids...it makes me sick! Makes me also very happy that my ex-wife and I decided not to have any kids...I'm 40 now - and will not be having any children...whew!

When I was growing up, we had toys...like GI Joe and Tonka trucks...we played outside with our friends - until the streetlights came on...and we could hear our Mom's "hail" from blocks away...and we went home immediately. Dinner? There was a bell that Mom would use - open the back door and ring it - and we came running. Oddly, most of the other Mom's had bells too - I don't know how we knew the difference, but we did.

Neighbors watched us - and if we did something wrong, we got in trouble from the neighbor - and we never thought about talking back to them - and we knew that before we could ever make it home, Mom and dad had already been notified.

Teachers hit you if you got out of line - and it wasn't abuse!

I miss the "old days"...when kids were grateful that they had parents who loved them enough to be their parent and to punish them when they did wrong.

Answer 2

As defined by Websters Dictionary:

Parent- a person who brings up and cares for another

Child- a person not yet of age

Friend-one attached to another by affection or esteem

Although there were more definitions, they all broke down to the above statements. None of these words means the other. But it seems somewhere they all seemed to blend together. When you listen to a conversation between a parent and child, and can not distinguish which one is which, there is a problem.

There are no rules, no responsibility, no consequences for actions. There is, "not my child", "it's MINE!", or my favorite "I WANT!".

When I was younger, and made the mistake of saying "I WANT!" My father used to tell me "It's a good thing to want.", not always in the nicest tone of voice.

If you asked me 20 some odd years ago, I probably would have rolled my eyes and disagreed. But it didn't mean I got what I wanted.

Looking back, it was some of the best advise I was ever given. I've worked hard for what is mine, whether it is my husband, my family, my home, or the material things in my life. I have the self-pride that comes along with having worked for these things. It does not come from opening your wallet, or being best friends with your child. Strive for self-entitlement...not just entitlement. I know self-entitlement is not a word defined by any dictionary. But this is what comes up if you try to look it up....

Suggestions for self-entitlement:
1. self-contentment 2. self-contentments 3. self-betterment 4. self-enrichment 5. self-interested 6. self-betterments 7. self-determined 8. self-interestedly
9. self-containment 10. self-containments 11. self-maintenance 12. self-interestedness 13. self-maintenances 14. self-centeredly 15. self-abandonment 16. self-interests 17. self-enrichments 18. self-contentedness 19. self-containedly 20. self-contentedly


Although there are negatives on this list, it is amazing how many are positives if you think about it. As a grown woman I hope to pass on the positives to others as well as my family.

So remember, it truly is "a good thing to want". It's the knowing when to give thats important.

Answer 3

I'm 47 and was a single parent raising three girls. Thank God I didn't suffer too badly from this. It's gotten worse though and I don't think it's entirely the parents fault. This is how I and hundreds of thousands of others ( the Republican Party) see it. A lot of these parents where brought up by hippies in the 60's - 70's and got involved in politics, education and mass media; gaining control in government, public schools/school boards, Colleges and Broadcasting. They then created the social and welfare programs in place today that we call the welfare state. The snowball effect has engulfed our society to the point that we now have illegal immigrates from outside our boarders expecting hand outs at the taxpayers ex pence regardless of race, religion or politics (beginning of socialism). In the teenagers of today they are exposed to that concept through the schools and peer pressure, The parents have failed in the aspect of improperly bestowing morals and values into their children as well as discipline. This again probably do to the social engineering and ridicule from surrounding and supporting communities through the mass media.

Answer 4

I agree with you %100 !! I'm a single mom with my kids and I have low income. My kids see all these other kids with all these expensive things and they sometimes have a hard time realizing just why I can't fly out and buy them cell phones and mini pocket bikes and so on. I think that the parents that are doing it may not even have the money but are way to busy in there lives to actually spend time with their kids and so there for they buy and give them all this crap to keep them occupied and to buy their love and not show them it by spending good time with them and sitting down and having family time. It's today's world and it's sad. All I know is that I am working really hard to make the kids have different views

Answer 5

I am over 30 and also a parent. I am rasing 3 kids . I agree and see those types of parents all the time ( it is sickening ) I raise my kids to appericate what you have . They dont have cell phones or PSP's and they wont till they have a job. They have chores that they dont get paid for its thier job to do these things. I know of parents that let there kids take cell phones IPODS and MP3 players to school ( WHY?? ) And when the schools take them away the parents say the kids NEED them in case of an emergency ( YEA like an IPOD has saved anyoneslife)

Answer 6

I work in HR and it is interesting to see this generation, known as the "Millenials". I believe that this really is just the culmination of societal migration. Take the Baby Boomer generation, who came of age in the 60s. They were very interested in being free and easy. This freedom as they saw it, came with a price. That price was two-income households, more women working outside the home, tv trays and frozen dinners, the growth of daycare centers, after-school programs and a new term, "latch key".

Their children, born in the 60s - Generation X, had to become independent, because they had no choice. Dad worked, Mom worked, both were tired, dinner was Hamburger Helper or McDonalds. There was no time taken to get to know and understand Gen Xers. Let alone give Gen Xers (us) a balanced perspective to life.

Welcome to the 80s! Now Gen Xers are having children (Millenials). And because of the way we remember our childhoods, we do whatever it takes to ensure that our kids have everything. Even if it means we have to go in debt 4x over to do it. Yeah, I know gym shoes that cost $125 for a 12 year old seems a little outrageous, but my gosh, don't we wan't little Johnny to fit in? So what he won't be able to fit the shoes by the end of the school year. We don't want him picked on and his feelings hurt! Goodness no! How will he ever get over that?

At the same time we Gen Xers are spoiling our kids rotten, we're spoiling ourselves. Mortgages our grandparents, or even parents, couldn't fathom. Car payments that rival our mortgages. And because we're busy trying to heal our childhood wounds (lack of attention) with material goods, we're working more, experiencing more stress, buying gadgets (read: iPod, XBox, etc.) to babysit our kids, and keeping the pharmacy on speed dial for the kids' Ritalin.

I agree the Millenial generation is different, but before we point the finger at them, we (Gen Xers) must take a long hard look at their parents...us.

Answer 7

although I agree that they have "everything" and I am guilty b/c I have a son at home that has everything. I have given this alot of thought. when I tried to stop giving him all the "latest" things I noticed that he was the only one with out them. It is just the age in which we are living. I would really like to see all the response you receive. I don't think we are doing them any favors and personally think we are setting bad examples of what the real world is all about, but then again what do you do. i know growing up my parents tried to give me better than what they had and I tried to give my children better than what I had , it is a never ending cycle. verry interesting question

Answer 8

I ask myself this same question and yet I am one of the parents who do this and can't really afford it. I am 46 years old with a 8 year old daughter who has all that but no car because she is the only child in the house except for my grandchildren who come over on the week ends. I just don't want to hear the wining it will make me angry and I might go crazy.

Answer 9

i know im only 14, but i think i agree with u. i hate it that the 10 yr olds are already getting cells and ipods and all kinds of things. i dont even have a tv in my room! i think its cuz the parents are too afraid to be parents. they dont want to "hurt the child's feelings" blah! they just need to step up and be adults. a parent cant be a best friend and an authority figure. i know this cuz money is tight right now in my house cuz my dad is searchin for a job, but im ok with not having the newest cell phone, or an ipod, or even the new pair of shoes. i couldnt even get a $3 lip gloss. but i dont care cuz i know i dont really need it, plus, id rather have food. i dont get allowence, i live in my house, so i have to do my share. sure, its not much, but i still have chores. i dont get paid to do it, i just live here. i know, money doesnt grow on trees. i had to work just to get a new outfit for the first day of school. i love babysitting though, so it isnt that bad. but ur right, my generation is VERY spoiled.

Answer 10

In a simple word "Guilt" is why parents give their children everything these days. My reason for saying this is that in today's society, parents have to mostly BOTH work and in doing so, they feel guilty for not spending time with their children, so they spend money on them instead. buying them everything they need or demand.
These parents start this from a very early age, promises at daycare of an ice-cream or lolipop if they are big and brave while Mummy and Daddy are at work right through to buying them the newest Cellphone if they do well in their school exams!
How to overcome this. Parents have to learn to be ok with their decisions to work and not allow their children to play guilt trips on them, or at least not wear that guilt.