If someone you know was in a near fatal accident...but you are soooo?

Question

tired of explaining to people that ask and they DO.....he is in a home...but you go and visit....is it alright to just say 'fatal accident"...because it you don't...you get question after question which CAUSES YOU TO RELIVE IT ALL OVER AND IT WAS DEVASTATING....i cannot be mean..it was not how i was brought up!!! HELP!!!!!...IT WAS FATAL TO HIS BRAIN!!!..so it is not a lie...and i do NOT lie...but this situation was devastating and hard to move on when nosy people STILL ASK...later i will cry...it hurts....

Answer 1

I'm sorry about the auto accident. I would thank them for their concern and say I am having a hard time talking about it right now.

Answer 2

sorry to hear about this situation, no words can match your pain, I've been there, my dad was in just such an accident, injured so severely from being hit by a truck in a car accident that ICU critical care unit told us he wouldn't live to the next day...I was awake for over 26 traumatic hours until I collapsed and went into a deep sleep...It was catastrophic to our life-experience too, life-changing to me too, profoundly shaken to the core of my being...

catastrophic accident, life-threatening injuries, critical care are appropriate, but fatal is only appropriate if he's totally gone, and going to be buried.

Your situation is not something for a casual mention and a bunch of questions and answers with people who really have no concept of what you're going through. People had asked me questions and then made snide comments like it was "nothing" or making ridiculous rationalizations about it all. You need to qualify who you want to discuss it with. If people are just being nosey and don't sympathize with your traumatic experience, just tell them you don't want to talk about it. Most people won't have a clue what you're experiencing, and that just adds to your trauma, stress, anger, fears, regrets, sadness, and your empathy for the injured.

Hopefully things will improve, and I hope whatever happens now and in the future, you will come through it as ok as you can despite it all for the sake of yourself and all those who care about you, and find progress or solace. An amazing thing I realized later was that my dad was more concerned about our grief and trauma than his own situation when he regained consciousness a year later. Your special someone might want you to be ok despite it all too. Hope for "miracles", be thankful for any good that develops.
Take care dear.

Answer 3

Just explain to them that he is clinically brain dead and that it isn't something you really feel up to discussing. They should understand and leave it at that. Don't lie about the condition, be honest, and if people continue to intrude on your peace then you just need to know that you have no further explanation for them to give and keep reiterating that to them. I'm sorry for your loss, please seek the assistance of a counselor to help you deal with your grief. Even though this person isn't dead you have experienced a great loss and you deserve to grieve in the best way possible for you.

Answer 4

I understand
I think I told the story over and over and over and over again to at least 90 people in a 3 day period about the circumstances surrounding Dads sudden death
I felt like a broken record /CD

Answer 5

just say it was serious accident and he is still fighting. leave it at that. it is not rude not a lie and ends the conversation sorry to hear about it. everyone wanted details when my mom died it was terrible you cant answer without the breakdown then feel foolish for it. When it is the asker who should feel foolish. for causing the breakdown

Answer 6

No, it's not all right to say "Fatal Accident," because "fatal accident means the guy died. He didn't die, so "fatal accident" is inaccurate.

Answer 7

I'm sorry about this :( I would say that they are brain-dead, as that is not a lie.

Answer 8

stop telling people about him. tell them to mind their own business

Answer 9

nj