My girls are 1 year and 3 weeks apart. Every year we throw one large family/friends party at our house on a day that falls between our girls birthdays. On each girl’s actual birthday, we do a small-scale day catered to them, with immediate family.
This year my daughter wants to go to Chuck E Cheese. How do we invite grandparents and her closest cousins/parents to come hang out and have fun, but make it clear that if they come, they will need to pay for their own food/drinks/game tokens?? I'm not being cheep, I just can't afford to throw 1 HUGE dinner party (usually around 60 people come) and two small parties every year (grandparents and sister/brother-in-law+their kids come)
I learned the hard way last year, I was stuck with the bill at Chuck E. Cheese for $200.00 plus the large party costs on top of it. I'm not made of money!
How is the most polite way to tell immediate family they are welcome to come join, but pay their own way??
Thanks in advance! :)
2007-08-10 12:52:37 · 16 answers · asked by . 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
This is a verbal invite, last minute, since her birthday is next week.
I don't want to pay for anyone, since in another 2 weeks I will be hosting the "Family/Friends" party at my house, feeding them dinner and giving treat bags.
2007-08-10 13:04:15 · update #1
My daughter wants grandma/grandpa and aunt/uncle/3 cousins to be part of her "special day". Last year we did the same, verbal invitation, and I thought everyone would understand they were on their own, but instead, they all ordered what they wanted and never pitched in when the bill came.
2007-08-10 13:11:27 · update #2
I think a nice way to say this, essentially without saying it, is to use the phrase "Dutch". Saying this works 2-fold. 1) it gets the point across. 2) It says that this practice is not only socially pertinent but widespread.
2007-08-10 13:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by andrewbressette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out how many kids the party at Chuck E Cheese will cover, then have your girls invite a certain number of KIDS only. Then you can have the party there with their closest friends only. Then you can have the big family / friends party at your house. Since it is last minute, it will be difficult to tell them to pay their own way. If someone's child doesn't get included in the pizza party, then you can explain to the parent later that you had a limit of people you could invite and you are sorry.
Another option is to just go to Chuck E Cheese on your own - your girls, you and your dh and bring a cake along. Then you only pay for yourselves and have your big party later on and invite the rest of the family to THAT party.
Your girls are lucky to have so many parties :) But I'm sure you see it can't continue.
2007-08-10 13:15:41 · answer #2 · answered by gift_lady 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hmmm! I think that it really isn't a good thing to have a party at a place where the guests have to pay their own way. It think it would be much better to take the kids to Chuckie Cheese the day before, let them have a blast and then hold a barbeque for both girls at the house where you can provide the food and a nice birthday cake. (or do a buffet and ask family members to bring a favorite dish); you could provide the hamburgers, hot dogs, drinks, cake and ice cream. I understand the need to conserve money but I think it is kind of inappropriate to have a party and expect everyone to pay their own way.
2007-08-10 14:29:20 · answer #3 · answered by turkeybrooknj 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't have a party that u can't afford. It's rude to have a party a chuckle my cheese and ask folks to pay! Send cup cakes to her class on her birthday and invite grandparents over for a family potluck dinner and u supply the cake and ice cream. Who says kids need a big party!
One year, my money was low, so I made a home made cake, grilled hot dogs and fries in the oven. I got my party supplies from dollar store. Each of my two daughters could invite 2 friends. They told me that it was the best party ever!!! 😱
2016-04-13 14:37:45 · answer #4 · answered by just me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but why would you throw a party you can't afford? If you are preparing a party and issuing invitations, it is YOUR responsibility to pay!
Let your family and friends know that you cannot afford to stand the bill for a huge party, but that on a certain day at whatever time, you will be at Chuck E Cheese (or wherever) with your kids to celebrate their birthday. If they choose to show up, that's NOT a party and they can pay their own way and join in your fun, or not.
2007-08-10 13:04:24 · answer #5 · answered by thing55000 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
I am going to ask you to think about a few things:
1) Why would you combine your children's birthday!? For goodness sake, let each of them have just ONE special day for themselves. I have a friend that has done this with her boys and it creates competition between the 2 of them and then there are fights over the toys the other person got and they didn't. Yes, it might be a little more effort for you, but you decided to have them.
2) Why does everything have to be SO extravagent these days? What happened to the birthday parties of cake and ice cream at home with pin the tail on the donkey. It sounds like your daughters are no longer infants. Let them invite the # of friends as old they are and have a simple 1 1/2 - 2 hr get together at your home. At the most, rent a bounce house.
3) Why would you "invite" guests to a birthday party where they are going to be bringing 2 gifts and then on top of that ask that they pay for their way? I'm sure that's not on their agenda. If it's such an issue for you to pay for them, why wouln't it be an issue for them to pay for themselves also, since they had to fork out a wad of money of 2 gifts?
If you keep it simple things will stay simple. You are not keeping things simple.
2007-08-10 15:03:38 · answer #6 · answered by Mamacita 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
you're making plans the occasion, so which you have the luxurious of making plans some thing you're able to have adequate money to host. in case you won't be able to purchase a meal for 20 human beings, invite them for coffee or brunch or tea or and so on. at the instant definitely each physique is counting pennies - i could hate to say no a birthday invitation from a stable chum, yet whilst it comes with a twenty greenback cost ticket, i'm going to declare no. i'm ok eating much less high priced at abode, and that i won't be able to have adequate money a eating place meal.
2016-10-02 01:53:55 · answer #7 · answered by shenk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call to invite people, don't send invitations. Just explain to them that your daughter really wants to go to this particular place but that the large guest list is a bit of a financial strain. Ask them to please join you and your family for a "Dutch Treat" to celebrate your daughters' birthdays. They should be more than understanding, especially if you take the time to tell them personally.
2007-08-10 13:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by dolce 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just have one party at Chuck E. Cheese and pay for the pizza and soft drinks, rather than having two parties for the girls.
2007-08-10 13:10:36 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have bad taste or none at all. I'll bet you even tell them what to buy as gifts. I don't care if it's a verbal or written invitation to a birthday party, you shouldn't expect anything from anyone. I've thrown elaborate parties for my children and there were people who were on strict fixed incomes that came without gifts. They ate and had a good time and they were invited back again and again.
2007-08-10 16:35:13 · answer #10 · answered by Call Me Babs 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋