My boyfriend of 3 years recently told me that he will join the army for 4 years. It's always been his dream and his grandpa is a big influence in his decision. He says its his dream, however it seems to me like he's just looking forward to the bragging rights of being in the military and big ego after he returns. He is physically fit and conditioned but He is just too optimistic about it and he already thinks he is going to be the best one there and he will have no problems at all throughout the 4 years. He has no worries about our relationship because he thinks everything will be the same after he comes back. I love him and i know he loves me too, and im not even questioning our relationship or leaving him. I just have all these worries and he has none, so i don't know if its me that is overreacting and being too dramatic or him not reacting at all at all about what might happen?
2007-08-10 12:33:51 · 14 answers · asked by Sandra! 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
No matter how many times he leaves you will never feel good about it. My husband is on his 3rd tour to Iraq and everyday is sometimes a struggle. I just learn to keep going and do things to keep me and my mind busy (have 3 kids and going to school full times and volunteering helps in that area).
If this is something that he really wants to do, you can do 2 things. One, leave him and find someone who is not in the military because chances are once he gets out of basic and AIT, he will be deployed and the army is doing 15 month rotations now. Two, if you really love him and want to stay with him, then just support him and love him. Keep all communications open and be honest with him.
Write to him as often as you can but please don't expect him to write you that often or even call you but just a couple of times, if that while he is in Basic training. He will be very busy and will probably not even have time to sleep let alone write. But keep the letters coming, I can not tell you how happy hubby gets when he hears his name at Mail Call.
no matter how long you stay with him or if you 2 even end up married, you will always have worries, weather he deploys or not, you will care about what he is doing and how he is doing and if he is safe.
Know that there are other like you out there and we are here if you ever want to chat.
Here are some groups that might be of interest to you:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/girlfriends_of_army/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/militarywivessupportclub/ (this group does girlfriends and other family members as well as wives)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/us_armylove/
Check out some of these books:
http://www.sarahsmiley.com/books_for_military_families.htm
http://www.armywifetalkradio.com/booksspouse.shtml
http://www.shop.com/0-p58221135-k36-g1-~military+wife+books-nover-s.shtml
http://amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/105-9141264-0666025?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=military+wife
These books might help with some of your worries. I own several and have just ordered a few more.
Take care and know that you are not alone and we are here if needed. We try to stick together.
2007-08-10 17:05:13 · answer #1 · answered by ckamk1995 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were there right now I'd kick you in the head.Have some self respect woman .He broke up with you and went out with another girl from your high school .Probably said some nasty **** about you to make her feel like she was better than you and It was ok to treat you like dirt.Why do you even talk to this jerk at all???? Don't fall for any of the BS he's throwing at you like the flirting and the weird relationship questions...He doesn't care about .He knows no matter what he does or how he treats you you'll stick around and he loves the ego boost being with you gives him.Also why buy the cow when the milk is free right ....I mean when he needs company your there and then he just forgets about you. SNAP OUT OF IT WOMAN !! I totally understand that he was you high school sweetheart but after letting some girl bad mouth you like that you should never speak to him again ever .Do you really want to be in this half relationship.I suggest you start respecting yourself more and realize that there are many good guys out there that would want a serious relationship with you and not just fool around with you. My advice as of now is NEVER SPEAK TO HIM AGAIN.GO MEET NEW PEOPLE
2016-05-19 02:50:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, my boyfriend, or now fiance just left for basic training on July 30th. First thing that shocks me about your question is your boyfriend sounds cocky and believe me that will not do him any good at all at basic. He needs to fly under the radar, tell him not to act like he thinks he knows everything or he has a hard way to go. Jason, my fiance, and I have been together 3 years and have lived together for 2 so of course I thought I would just be lost without him, but it is odd when you have been with someone for so long, you know each other and you can always feel each other. I don't worry about Jason because I know he is very capable and mentally ready for what he is about to go through. I get a letter about everyday, but if you wait on a phone call you will be waiting a while. I can't wait to go watch him graduate. You will be fine, just trust in him and your relationship. Just make sure he and yourself are prepared for Iraq if he really is serious, because there is no way of getting out of going. You two should really talk about that before he leaves because everything will go really quick after basic. Anyway, I'll stop now but you can email me if you want to talk, it would be nice to have someone going through the same thing that I am.
2007-08-13 12:52:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me tell you I'm sorry that your boyfriend is going into the army, not because it's bad but because you'll miss him like crazy. Relationships like that can work but I'm just trying to gently remind you what your getting yourself into. I don't think your overreacting, this is what people do when someone they care about is leaving for a long period of time, just remember they are coming back. Maybe he's just more relaxed because this is something he is really dieing to do. And his grandpas been through it so he has a little taste of it more than you. But you have the right o worry. And men sometimes bottle up their emotions, just try to be happy for him and remind him that you love him and try and talk things out, tell him how you are feeling and make sure he knows how you feel before he leaves. Hope this helped.
2007-08-10 12:50:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband had 9 years prior military service when I met him. He told me from the start that he wanted to go back into the military. Just after we got married he was trying to get in the National Guard. He knew at that time I was against it and he was trying to get in behind my back. After I threatened divorce he told the recruiter to forget it. After listening to him for the next year say, "Should have let me join the Guard." I got sick and tired of hearing it and then felt really bad because I knew that was something that he really wanted to do. How selfish I was to try and hinder his dream of going back into the military. I ended up calling the recruiter myself and had him call my husband. He's now in the guard. Funny thing is, I joined myself! When he went away to Warrior Transition I felt alone for a little while but then being so busy w/ work and everything else, the time went by so fast and seemed like no time at all before he was back. I didn't even recognize him when I picked him up from the airport. Think of the positive aspects. It seems like it will make him happy and if he's happy you're happy. He's doing something he wants to do and if he likes it and continues on and gets rank, the more money he makes to support a family. You have to think of the future, not just the time he's going to be away right now for training, etc. He'll get a nice retirement, GI Bill, etc. Just stay positive for yourself and your boyfriend and it will make things a lot easier. I'm going to basic in Sept. and will miss my husband, but one thing I couldn't afford was college. This will help me get the education I have wanted for a long time!
2007-08-10 13:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by wasntme012002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he didn't feel confident and feel liike he's the best, he shouldn't be there.
Quit worrying about him! He made the decision, he feels he can do it. So, what's the problem?
The problem is, he may not come back.Once he's through with basic and AIT, he'll find there's a big world out there, and he may fall in love with a place he will be stationed, and stay there.
2007-08-10 12:42:56 · answer #6 · answered by TedEx 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give me Grandpaws address he needs the crap slapped out of him. He's got some weird perverted death scene scenario where grandson comes home in a body bag. Very plausible scenario) He gets to comfort the girl left behind(YOU).
Stay the hell away from Grandpa Pervo.
Keep in contact w/ boyfriend but when he comes home from basic warm him up to the idea ofa parting of the ways. You're both young& will get over it believe me YOU WILL.
Like it or Not, Boyfriend is a Selfish Jag who gets to galvant off on the great adventure leaving his Woman behind to keep the hom efires burning. Sooner you give him the adios, the better. Leave your worries & his" I'm a Warrior Woman You donts understands" behind the Sooner the better& ENJOY LIFE!!
2007-08-10 14:04:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i rember when my now husband left for basic training i had a really hard time struggling wiht him being gone and struggling to make keep on my feet as well and we had alot of family problems at the time
we have been married for 3 years now im so proud of my husband he is my hero and my life the military life is hard i look back now and think basic traing was easy i havent seen my husband for a year now it takes a strong and understanding woman to deal with the military life
you are over reacting but its perfectly normal just calm down it will only be a couple months and youll get to see him when he graduates and you will be so overwhealmed wiht how happy and proud of him you are
during basic traing the soliders are verry focused on what they do so dont expect too many phone calls from him but you can two can write snail mail back and fourth i wrote him every day and he wrote me alot too be sure to send him with a note book and some letters and stamps a lot of them too dont worry it will all be fine
and when you see him in his uniform you will be like wow he is so handsome and hes mine too be sure that he has your address and cell phone to call you and keep your cell with you at all times
2007-08-10 13:50:25 · answer #8 · answered by Honey Badger Doesnt give a Shat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be by his side all the time do not forget to email him it hard out there my sister was there you are going to be worries all the time but be there for him i wish you and him the best and god bless him for what he doing for us. and you too your time and your love for him ... that of you overreacting I was the same in the begging with my sister she was not worry at all
still to this day talking a about 8 to9 years in the military Don't worry be there for him if you love him ..good time and bad.
2007-08-10 13:10:53 · answer #9 · answered by vane 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its okay to have worries but dont stress yourself out because bootcamp is just the begining. You have to stay strong and positive and his outlook is only going to make him push himself even harder so he can be the best. You should be proud of what he wants to do.
2007-08-10 13:38:49 · answer #10 · answered by That Special Someone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋