ANY IDEA(s)???

Question

Do you know of any website I can go to find something along the lines of a "fake" marriage to perform? Ok here's the deal... My friend Crystal and her fiance would like to get married. They truly are in love with each other and plan to get married but when they can afford it. Is there such a website or something where they can get ideas of vows to say to each other so that in a way they are married but not legally with papers? They want to do this in their own private ceremony together. So almost as if it were a wedding but really just saying they are committed to one another in other words...

A little more information, they're looking for just a commitment kind of ceremony. Crystal thinks having a civil ceremony is "tacky" <--her opinion not mine. They both agreed it'd be romantic to do a commitment ceremony...also they are both in college and mature so no, they are not silly, and i don't think this is a silly question.

Answer 1

Okay, I am sure you get the general consensus here - being that you didn't request judgment about the idea, but just information, that is what I am going to provide.

I think I understand what they are trying to accomplish - they want to affirm their commitment to a higher level than just "going steady" - they want to share their commitment to get married until they actually do commit to marriage. Not real easy to put in words - but I think that's the gist of it. Kind of along the lines of a promise ring. This is to be a symbolic event about the impending actual legal event.

Here is some information about promise rings. They may want to consider including them in their symbolic ceremony:

http://www.newsletter.kaijewels.com/meaning-promise-ring-kj-01.htm

Here is a great site with a ton of vow information that she might be able to utilize: http://www.myweddingvows.com/

I know this isn't exactly what you are looking for, but it might provide you with ideas. Here is a link about symbolic wedding ceremonies:

http://www.wedd101.com/w79-symbolic-acts.html

Good luck!

Answer 2

If they don't want to make it legal, then they don't file papers. That's it. No marriage license, no officient, no marriage certificate afterwards. If it isn't done in front of a licensed officiant AND with a marriage license which is then signed by witnesses, then it isn't a legal marriage, no matter what words they say, where they say them, or what phase the moon is in.

That said, why do they feel a need to have a ceremony if they don't want it to make any legal difference? If all they want is to get married, why can't they afford to go to the courthouse? That generally costs less than $100.

Whatever their reasons, though, the only way the ceremony will be legally binding is if they fulfill the legal requirements. Simply not bothering to get a license will protect them from being married in the eyes of the law.

Answer 3

If you go to google, you can find vows.
Why don't they have a civil ceremony at the courthouse, and hold a reception later on when they have the money? A marriage license is only about $30.
Or, they could do a 'handfasting' ceremony, and have a close friend (you) 'officiate'. They can take the religion out of it and just do it as a commitment to one another.
I don't see anything wrong with doing a personal commitment ceremony. As long as they are 'married' in each others' eyes, that is all that really matters for right now.

Answer 4

They do know that if they aren't legally married they aren't married at all, right ?

My husband and I wanted to do that, just so in the eyes of God we were a married couple .. but it seemed kinda worthless when it doesn't mean anything away.

I would just suggest to you, have them wait .. they tell each other they love each other everyday. Why do you need more words than that ? My husband and I waited 4 years from our engagement to get married and it was so special b/c we didn't have the other ceremony.

But -- they have vow books at any book store in the wedding section. Then they can go to city hall and pay $50 (or so) and just be legally married and have the party later. Good luck !

Answer 5

These people seem much more interested in a big party with a beautiful dress, a limo, and dancing until dawn. I suggest they try going to a prom.
A wedding is the "frosting on the cake" for people who are ready to legally commit their lives to one another, not an entitlement or a rite of passage.
To be quite honest with you, if they want to make a public announcement that they plan to marry and are committed to each other, they should plan an engagement party and perhaps make a nice toast or something like that.

Answer 6

maybe they could go to the courthouse and have a small ceremony afterwards with family and friends, i am guessing a commitment ceremony is going to cost just the same as a wedding minus the marriage license. on their 5th anniversary (or if they can afford it) they could have a vow renewal with the big celebration/wedding they never had. tell them that its not the wedding day that makes them married, they would be just as married as someone who spent a million dollars and invited everyone they ever knew to the wedding, and your friends would probably know the true meaning of marriage more.

Answer 7

There are plenty of web-sites were you can get a license to perform marriage. If one of the friends gets this license the can legally get married, without the hassle of the big wedding. All the have to do is pay for the marriage license. And when they have money down the road. Maye like thereeir 5th yr of marriage they can do a bigger wedding.

Answer 8

If they are that serious. Tell them to go to the court house and get the marriage licenses which will be $50 are less. And go before the judge in the same place and marry. Have a wedding after they Graduate from school and get jobs. Silly questions and silly people deserve stupid but real answers.

Answer 9

What's the rush ?
And why a party ?

This is a persons way of getting out of a legal ceremony.
There is no reason for this.

Most people now a day, wait till after college graduation.

If they want a commitment, they should wait until they are ready.

And.. why are you the one asking the questions ?

This just doesn't smell right.

Answer 10

Why don't they get married at City or Town Hall? It's free except for the marriage license. That's what my husband and I did.