Wedding or Down Payment on a House?

Question

We just found the perfect house and our wedding is being planned for June 14, 2008. We need a little extra to put down on the house and I am thinking of using our wedding money and just going to the court house to get married. I am not really a sentimental person but I do not know if I might one day regret not having our wedding. But let me stress that we REALLY want this house. Should we blow off the wedding and buy the house (and get married now at the Justice of the Peace) or continue with our wedding plans?

If you did something similar, do you regret it? Would you do something different?

Answer 1

If you aren't that interested in a big wedding and really love this house, then why not put the money on the house?

You'll only regret not having the full wedding if that's what you really wanted in the first place. I've known women who went to the courthouse and regretted it, but I've also known women who thank heaven they did it that way every day...same with the big wedding.

Decide which one is more important to you, and go with it.

Me? It was important to me to have a wedding with my friends and family, but if it came down to dream wedding or dream house, I'd have found ways to seriously scale back on my wedding. The wedding is one day, but the house is where you build your marriage.

Answer 2

I too struggled with this kind of decision. I chose the wedding i've always dreamed of (which will be 12/29/07), but in your case, i would suggest the opposite. If you are not largely sentimental and really have found the "perfect" house, don't let that opportunity slip by. It is a buyers market and now is the best time to be buying a home. And who's to say that you can't have a small, intimate wedding at the courthouse in June and then later on in the year or perhaps on your 1st anniversay host a wedding like reception. And here's a thought...when you do get married send out a wedding announcement afterward which includes information on when you hope to have the celebration.

I understand what it is like to not want to look back and regret something one day, but what would you regret more...that is what you have to figure out. Does the "perfect" house & a court house marriage sound more satisfying than a large wedding and no house or a crappy house? I think the first sound like a win win situation because win it comes down two it, a marriage isnt about the wedding its about the love that you two share...you can throw a party to celebrate that at anytime.

Good luck & Congrats!!!

Answer 3

get the house!!!!!! the money spent on the wedding is not going to benefit you near as much. you can get married now or on your original date. Maybe you could have a cool reception at your house. You can tone down your original wedding plans without giving it up entirely! if I ahd the chance I would've bought a house rather than spend so much on a wedding. Several things went wrong for the wedding and in the end you have the memories yes, but not all of the stuff and in the end you will find that every little detail does not matter all that much. Figure out what matters the most if you really want the wedding, is it the location, the dress, or the reception. maybe you can afford whatever matters the most to you. Please don't pass up the opportunity to buy the house. You don't know if you'll be in the same position in the future. Or what the housing market will be like.

Answer 4

If you only need some of the wedding money is it possible to scale down the wedding costs? Or would you be willing to put off the wedding until you can afford it all. I think of it this way, you will live in the house for the rest of your life. Looking at it every day. Weddings are a memory of a joyous ocassion and you do not think of all the details every day. Sure you may regret not having a huge affair in order to pledge your love for one another, but how much would you regret not getting the home of your dreams. You would think of the house that got away every time you looked at the house you end up with if you pass on this one.

Answer 5

Take the down payment on the house. DON'T BE STUPID!!! After the big day is over, you will not see anywhere near what you spent in the envelopes to make up and why pay rent to someone else when you are lucky enough to have parents to give you a down payment. Have a nice wedding but take the down payment for the house. I know the big wedding is important now but, later you will be sorry you traded a 1 day party for a house that you can make a home everyday.

Answer 6

There will always be another house; there will only be one wedding day. Some day that dream house may become too small or you may need to give it up to move for job demands. Memories of a wedding will last a lifetime. You will relive them at every anniversary for the rest of your life. Your families will also cherish those memories.Those memories will become part of the fabric of your life in a way that a house cannot. Memories bind families together in a way that a house just can't possibly do.

Weddings are also not just about the bride and groom. They are about uniting two people...and two families. The friendships that will develop between those families at that wedding will help to support you as a couple for years to come.

Have you ever thouoght about the fact that we have become too focused on what we own, on having the perfect possessions, rather than who we are and the relatonships we are constantly building with those around us?

Think about this carefully. I hope you'll choose the wedding and warm, loving memories over the house. There will always be another perfect house. How many other weddings will you have?

Answer 7

My fiance and I did something similar. We bought a house first, and I feel it was completely the right choice for us. Now we have a place that is our own and we waited a little bit until we could save up again for the wedding, so we didn't really have to sacrifice the wedding either, we just waited another year (we're getting married in October.)

I think you could really do both... buy the house (if you love it, it is totally worth it) and then by being smart with your money, you can save up for the wedding fairly quickly.

Good luck. Don't wait too long to make a decision, because someone else might put a bid on the house.

Answer 8

If I could go back and change things I would have chose to buy a house and have a small wedding but we didn't. We spend alot of money on the wedding which was nice but I know I would have been happier with a small wedding and having a house right now. Everyone told me that from their experiences but I went on my own. I should have listened...Getting married is about you two declaring your love for each other and not seeing how much money you could spend. Get your life together started off right, go for the house...

Answer 9

Fact is that financial stress can ruin a marriage, and a wedding ceremony is really just for pictures and memories. If you two love each other, then it doesn't matter if you have a big ceremony or a quick hug. The marriage itself is important. Beyond that, you can live in a lesser home for 10 yrs and regret spending all that money on family you barely knew. No family beyond your immediate will care how you were married anyways. I'd say hit the courthouse and start your life together with a great homne and a small mortgage.

Answer 10

No-brainer here. Go for the house. You can still have a nice ceremony at the courthouse, or perhaps a small ceremony at home. I just helped my friend with a very small, intimate and private wedding, and it was beautiful. And altogether counting their rings , decor, cake, dress etc, and officiant was under $500. So you can have a meaningful and lovely wedding and use all that money you would have spent for a party on your future instead.

After you have moved in and settled down, you can have a cook out or something and invite your family and friends over to enjoy your new place. Trust me, it will be much more fun!